Cloistered Touch
by Corrode
Summary: repost....and adding and finishing of story. Warning for some langauge, some sex, and dark thems of course. Girl witch Hazel meets boys when weechester, runs into to them later on, angsty situations...and plenty of Winchester fun.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay I couldn't resist the starting of a new story, I kind of figured this way I have one going for each Winchester….so when I am in a Dean mood I have this one, and a Sam mood-I have the other. Yes, it does start out with some crazy smutty Sammy library sex but this story is all for Dean…besides Dean got some in the other story. And I am following Sam's character arc as it is through season three to four…more demanding and a little darker….I really think his character on the show will evolve allot this season, because he will have to living without his brother. I haven't decided exactly where this comes in but am thinking the trickster episode in season three when Sam has months to himself and gets damn dark and obsessed. In this story it will be going back and forth between modern times and adolescent, and my inspiration was thinking about why Dean hates witches so much. Please review.**

**Corrode**

Cloistered Touch

Chapter One Libraries and Memories

Hazel reached for the book, so caught up in her actions that she didn't notice the shadow that was looming behind her. The room was too poorly lit anyhow but being what she was she should have noticed his presence. Above Hazel, the arched ceilings of the college library were rounded in a high curved vaulted design. It was more like a chapel in its magnificence, with its quiet reverence softened by the snow that kissed the tall windows. It was just the type of college library Hazel had always dreamed of going. But her life had taken a different route and now it seemed easy to pretend she really had gone on to study. Hazel pondered as she searched the rows. It was days like this, when the weather carried the threat of frost-bite, that the crowds stayed home. Promises of warm fires tempted the less driven, and lasted the day to shelter through the night.

'' Cuddled and safe in their beds..'' she stated with sarcasm.

'' With my luck the wolf would come knocking just when I felt the safest…..and that's life ladies and gentlemen..'' she spoke to herself as if an audience were listening.

Hazel did this often; she found it helped to fill the loneliest and darkest hours.

'' My life anyhow..'' she stated with a small trace of bitterness to her voice.

She'd spent hours now, just on this one floor, thoroughly searching from shelf to shelf. It was time in the click of her boots, and the tick of the clock that made obvious her tempered state, Hazel's agitation building as the time passed.

And now evening had come, surprising as the passing of time can be when absorbed in a task, and here she was. Her legs almost brushed her chin tucked under the long hanging lights and drafty pine carved ceiling. Hazel suddenly felt a pulling towards a shelf that she had completely disregarded on contents alone. Who would place ancient Latin next to plants and garden? She might have laughed if she hadn't been so exhausted.

Speechless with relief her focus leveled triumphantly on the prize. Her natural empath ability stripped away everything except the impatience to have that book in her hands. Hazel wanted to whoop with delight but felt her immediate surroundings would disagree with the idea.

She stood on tip toe to look closer, breath held and eyes wide. The old leather binding was wearing thin, the delicate ivory that traced the title was paling, and the words were difficult to make out. Yet, she felt sure the piece was authentic. The pulling conviction behind her forehead agreed, like a silver spool of thread unwinding towards the object she couldn't deny how strong the pull was. Hazel felt swallowed inside a desire that had taken over her life, her body, mind and soul. The proof would finally be hers.

Yet, Hazel's empathy should have picked up on the energy of the man behind her. And he continued unnoticed until those large long fingered hands came into her peripheral view. She should have known just from the image of that one long crooked finger, even before her arm brushed his, he was no stranger. He was someone she hadn't thought about in a long time. Well, perhaps that was a lie also, you never really forgot a Winchester- just pushed his memory away, and tried to move on.

His presence and the knowledge of who he was, burst through, as her fingers closed over his. A long forgotten energy was felt, Sam's own unique fingerprint-Hazel nearly jumped at the realization. It was amazement, excitement and horror all rolled into one roasting pit at the center of her stomach. And it was much more, more than her adolescent mind had been able to understand in high school, a feminine longing, which tugged deeply inside.

Sam was the only person Hazel had ever been close to on an emotional level. The only person she had told about the accident. And now her old suppressed urges and intimate cravings over powered the reality that that friendship was more than physical attraction. That and the fact that she could feel the whisperings of arousal inside him as well collected in her memories. Then she remembered the pain his brother had caused her.

Should she turn and greet Sam- forget long buried thoughts of them together of Dean's condemnation. She wished for the strength to do just that. But the pain that Dean caused seemed suddenly to bloom and wouldn't it be just wonderful if she now, after all these years, did the very thing Dean had been trying to prevent in high school: If she slept with Sam.

It was the kind of thought to make an overemotional girl giddy and light headed. Would Sam know it was even her, it had been over eleven years and Hazel looked different now. Did she want him to know? Hazel tucked the only thing that she knew would link his thoughts to the past, her pentacle-the one he'd given her before he left, inside the silk draped lace across her throat. And turned with a smile, swatting his hand playfully away from the book they'd both been reaching for.

'' Ladies first, or were you planning on tackling me against the shelf and wrestling it away. Fair warning, I'm pretty good at sparring, and my size makes for good agility, '' Hazel's eyes twinkled up into his.

And there was plenty of time to take stock of the boy turned man. The dark angles in his eyes were surprised, and drawn up shy beneath his boyish looking sable curls. But the boyhood ended there. He'd grown into his jaw that was slack below a mouth that would have been harsh if it weren't for the adorable curve in his bottom lip. Hazel's center tightened as she imagined what he would do if she reached up and sucked lightly on that lip. She thought instead of his loyalty to her, even when his brother had damned her.

'' Do I know you?'' Sam questioned, score one for the Winchester, but Hazel still wasn't sure she wanted to be remembered.

If only so much time hadn't past, if only they'd reunited sooner. But she could drown in excuses, and Hazel had spent too many nights making the lists. There was no returning when time pressed forward.

'' Maybe, in another time…'' she answered being evasive but not lying.

He stepped closer to examine her features; Hazel crossed her fingers, hoping the surgery had been successful enough to hide what was left of Hazel Whiteburn. The reconstruction had seemed to fool her enemies. But she had never reclined bellow the stars with an enemy, never counted the constellations', or shared those pieces of herself no one else had known. Not even Dean had been aware of her past.

Still sometimes in the darkness Hazel thought of Dean. Normal although it was, to want something, to crave the contact those gently rolling eyes warmed, and then feel betrayed when that side of the bed lay empty. It was an impossible wish to expect more than heeded words, or quick embraces- pretending, always pretending. She still felt haunted by those words even now, words that had deflated her empty hopes, as if being Dean's friend or enemy would ever be enough.

But she tried, damnit - to never let Dean know, he couldn't see the real sorrow behind her smile, couldn't know the true intentions behind her indulgent gaze was for more than she knew he could offer. So she day dreamed, safe fantasies in which she was the heroin. The woman Dean would want beyond temptation, her lips to pass his time, like lazy afternoons as the jasmine drifted.

But now Dean was just a memory, and Sam, well Sam……was he saying something? He now stood quite a bit closer than before she'd drifted into Dean land. Just like Disneyland, folks- thrilling rides that left you gasping for more, she thought smiling slightly as she finally tuned in on Sam's words.

'' Why don't we share a study room, it's very important I see this book tonight, and besides you could never take me in a sparring match….'' and there were the dimples matched against the same puppy dog eyes, which melted her resolve every time.

Hazel thought about the private soundproof rooms lined up along the library walls. She'd lost her virginity in one a few years back, and was surprised to see Sam head straight for the very same study room. Hazel didn't need more than his presence to feel the energy sparking between them, it had always sparked between them; it would be unfair of her to do anything with Sam while Dean kept crossing her mind. It's not that a part of her didn't want Sam and she sure as hell cared for him; but how much of her arousal was just reflecting off of her thoughts of Dean. Little did Hazel know she was underestimating Sam. Because it had remained easy when they were kids; he was still so shy and uncertain of his appeal, his advances awkward-easy to deflect, if Hazel had to- but not anymore.

'' Wouldn't you rather have one closer to the bathroom,'' Hazel questioned, also noticing the isolation of this particular room.

'' You mean the exit..'' he questioned with a smile, and this riled her better intensions, like he was extending the tip of a small pointed sword, extending an invitation to spar.

'' I don't have a thing to be afraid of…why would I need an exit?'' she stated.

'' So…... what's wrong with this one.'' he asked turning to see her expression, with a faint smile. What could she possibly say without embarrassing herself? I'm trying not to think about sex and that room has memories… I mean sure her and Sam had been only, okay mostly friends, but the thought of him bending her over that small grey table, in the windowless and lockable room, started a drumbeat between her thighs that was undeniable. Memories of them together locked in the deciding vote.

Could it just be her reaction to never finishing with him in the past? What if she did do this? And her thoughts from earlier came back in relentless waves. Hazel didn't even have to tell him her name, or the alias she now used to escape the radar. They could part as strangers, and it would remain her secret.

'' Suppose it doesn't really matter, '' she stated grabbing the book from his hands and racing ahead, Hazel grinned over her shoulder. It only took a few of his huge strides to catch up, and she was standing in his shadow again, a bemused expression on his face.

'' Those short legs of yours are no match for mine, '' and it was in that statement as he leaned into and then around her to open the door, that Hazel felt the sensuality come out in his breath. Although, the words were teasing the manor was every bit the man she'd known he would grow up to become, even still the laughing boy-her first kiss. But his substantial want circled her in tingling ribbons. How could she deny him what he was done denying himself?

Hazel caught small flashes of his life since they'd parted and almost blurted her identity right there. Sam's life had been almost an endless storybook of pain, and she felt sorry for that. She was trying so hard to cap off her empathy but his life and pain was too close to the surface right now, pain similar to her own. Usually, she was able to muffle her ability to a small roar…..why couldn't she do that with Sam? She'd never been able to when it came to him-why was he different? Hazel preferred a modest amount of control, but he would tune in and then out, like a short wave radio-she had never known what she was going to feel from him. Some days nothing and then others full memories would arrest her conscience.

So when they'd been young, Hazel only felt it fair to share her life as well. He'd told her once that she was the only person who knew about what his family did. Actually, it was through Sam's memories and emotions that Hazel got to know the real Dean that she'd fallen in love with Sam's older brother.

Sam grabbed Hazel by the hand and pulled her inside, and suddenly she was the nervous one. She could feel in him the longing to experience her skin scorched and naked beneath his, her nipple tugged gently in his teeth…..his thoughts were so compelling, her empathy and approach so tuned into his that she could actually feel his hands on her body- through his ideas. It was a full connection, something her empathy only tuned into when a circuit was completed….. Or rather when an emotion was so powerful it had her floating in sensation. Most people believed sensation stopped at actual nerve contact, but for Hazel-when she felt something this acute, it was a full sense experience. And she was so caught up inside Sam's libido, like being in the eye of a cyclone…that as he wove around her, winds of lust tightening; she had to pull away from his touch.

'' I really need to get some research done,'' he exclaimed with a lopsided grin, looking pleased with Hazel's obvious predicament. She was flushed and trembling. But if Sam thought that was strange, that such a small amount of flirting would reduce her to a breathless vixen, he showed no signs.

'' Yeah, me to,'' Hazel responded winded, while trying not to weave towards her seat.

Hazel stopped midstride and cocked her head up to look into Sam's eyes, tempting the tempted might not have been the best idea. But she couldn't seem to stop herself; the warmth of intimacy still seemed to be reaching towards her with fingers that left paths like flames. The smile that touched his lips said he had no intention of getting right to the research. He was planning to do what Winchesters did best, find out why exactly a young woman would be after such an obscure manuscript.

This particular Latin text included several spells for spirit removal, among the more innocent things. Most people would consider it mythical balderdash, only those few who knew different would be interested in it. And then there was the fact that it was in Latin, making it even stranger for anyone normal to be interested in. This could get tricky; Hazel thought to herself, Sam wasn't a stupid guy. But after years of her own experience with the supernatural, she could hold her own. Hazel's talents had come in handy when needed and she really needed the conformation in those old Latin pages. Hazel needed to set things right.

'' Are you sure I don't know you?'' he asked, large palms closing over her backside as he lifted her to face him on the edge of the table.

Hazel was so shocked to find herself now perched in front of him she didn't immediately react to the fact she was now surrounded by Winchester and felt incapable of escape. That his fingers were now teasing the skin as her skirt rolled up, in an indecent salute…..innocent boy turned haunted man. Hazel was enthralled. The feel of his hands wrapping the entire width of her leg, had her body flushed as her mind tumbled to find thought. Hazel used a quick focusing exercise; she'd learned to bring herself above the hum of electric energy and back down out of his stormy eyes. Hazel smiled; she felt more on her playing field now.

Then thinking two things very quickly, she could play this out his way feigning ignorance, or she could grab the book and run- for all her, small legs as he put it ,would take her. Hazel decided against the latter course of action settling into a more mysterious grin. Besides, she didn't have much hope in a foot race and her selfish indulgence was winning the battle as Sam fingered the lining along her panties.

'' Is this the kind of studying you had in mind,'' Hazel questioned.

Her eyes locked on his as her fingers worked the buttons on his shirt. Then it was one inch of exposed flesh, two inches of exposed chest. Hazel was vigorously working to see the change from boy to man. She poked her tongue between her lips to focus her fumbling grip. Damnit, when had the buttons on these shirts gotten so small, she thought-and laughed. Hazel was frustrated to find that by the time she was halfway down and starting to meet a hardened six pack, Sam was smiling from ear to ear at her troubles.

'' Why don't you let me get the rest…'' Sam grinned.

He had it off in one smooth motion. Then as he turned to throw it aside Hazel admired the view from behind, shoulder blades flexing together and decided his pants would be next. But as he approached he made no moves to advance the game, did he want her to…….Hazel reached for his belt only to have him shake his head. It was then she remembered he was most likely in work mode, information before fun mode. So why the hell was he tempting her anyway? Hazel stuck to the plan of operation village idiot and flipped her blonde hair with a carp like '' O'' of surprise.

'' I thought you wanted this,'' she whined, pouting as he pulled back a little but only enough to give her breathing room-his hands were still secured around her outer thighs, flexing teasingly against her flesh.

'' First tell me…….why this book,'' he looked serious now, face passive as the waves of desire lay carefully controlled under the surface.

Then he had moved his leg to push it up between hers using it like leverage to push apart her thighs. Every inch left Hazel more and more exposed, the ache deepening slowly. She couldn't tell him the truth….not this time. But he was making it damn hard. Hazel fought to stay in character, a groan of delight escaping her mouth-as his thigh, firmly pushed and then pulled back. Hazel was ready but couldn't give into her desire to flip his tall form onto the table and take back her control.

'' What's so important about this book anyway,'' and she put on her sexiest pout, fighting fire with fire, hating herself for having to stoup to actually playing stereo-typical blonde.

'' All I want to do is…'' she leaned in closer, closer to that teasing leg, grasping for those intricate wisps of his arousal with her mind, and tickling at the edges-wanting to pull it tightly to effect him the same way he was effecting her.

But every time she thought she'd found his glowing arousal it dimmed in her fingers as if he were holding it just out of her reach. Hazel felt now that she could not play this game, Sam had only gotten better. Not without blowing her cover or letting something slip. Hazel's face might be different but Hazel felt that some part of Sam already recognized her. He wasn't just older something about him was different. It was the same thing she'd felt lazing through him, like a dark eel in science class, only now it was a larger part of him, and very powerful. She needed to get out of this; this was his game now…..when the hell had the power shifted?

'' I think you know exactly how important this book is. If you really were as dumb as you are pretending I don't think you'd know how to read the text inside…..it takes more than high school Latin to read that old script. Because it's a combination of newer Latin and Gaelic, it was written to purposely confuse its finder. But the most curious thing is…… how you knew it was here, I've spent months tracking it's whereabouts and I had this feeling when I saw you…. so I followed,'' he lowered his eyes in a hungry way, at the same time using his thumb to replace his thigh and rubbing lazy circles over her cotton underwear. Hazel's head dipped back on a moan. She knew she was lost completely if she didn't do something and fast.

'' You usually get your way like this,'' Hazel breathed out wanting nothing more than to pull at the bulge in his jeans; then to tell him everything, because Sam was gauging Hazel's reaction to him and using it against her.

'' Actually you're the first, but I feel like I've been here before '' he chuckled deeply and pulling her blouse to the side….. Sam tongued Hazel's nipple through the lacy fabric of her bra…the same way he'd done that first night….that first night…her thoughts were slipping away, her focus and control hard to hold onto.

'' Why do I get the deluxe treatment,'' she asked trying to hold on with something coherent, because her eyes were half closed in a foggy seduction.

Hazel could smell the aftershave and shampoo, now mixed with the smell of sex and heated flesh in his closeness. Sam leaned back studying her for a second a little bit of confusion in his expression. As if his body recognized her, but he didn't know why. And he suddenly seemed unsure of his methods, Sam's uncertantity giving Hazel enough time to resurface….. a little.

'' Just tell me,'' he repeated, voice gravely and raw- so she went with one of the many lies, surely they weren't that different after all.

'' Reporter…..doing a story….that good enough for you,'' and it must have been.

His defenses down Hazel pulled him to her. Sam came willingly. His long fingers around her neck and collar bone as he kissed her fully, sliding from one side of her mouth to the other. He nipped playfully at her neck and jaw-line, and then his thumb was inside her, stroking a fire to match the intensity in his eyes.

'' God, just fuck me……,'' Hazel mewled into his mouth, hot and tepid with moister.

'' I planned on it,'' Sam stated pushing another finger inside.

Hazel nearly shattered as he circled her vulva once again before adding another.

'' Fuck Sam- just do it,'' and then everything came to a screeching halt.

He'd never told her his name- just as she'd never told him hers. It was then that the pentacle he gave her chose that inopportune time to slide out from where she had it wedged, and Sam's eyes locked on hers in confusion and disbelief.

'' Hazel,'' he questioned looking down at her in a way that made Hazel want to melt into the floor.

'' Not anymore…'' she returned, grabbing the book and running from the room, the smell of Sam burned inside her.

And yet she thought of Dean Winchester. The bastard she'd trusted, trusted enough to offer herself, to open herself. Hazel could still see the look in his eyes when he'd turned her down, he still thought of her as a freak. It had been wrong to not tell Sam as if she could just erase the encounter. Sam had been her friend, her confidant, her first kiss. Dean……well he'd been something else entirely and when Hazel figured that out, perhaps she would finally be free of him. She remembered back to the first conversation she'd ever had with Dean.

*********************************************************************

Eleven years earlier……………….

Dean stood interlinking his burnished fingers. The rubbing of those digits and steady gaze from his eyes, left an intensity that curled around Hazel's lungs like a large feline and squeezed. From the blood that rose to her head, to the pounding through her ears, his gaze filled her with a pulsing sense of alarm. He was Dean Winchester, a couple years her senior-newest hottie to arrive at Langdale High. He was also completely and petulantly unpredictable. Stories had begun circulating about him since his first day when he gave the biggest bully in the school a black eye.

Some people said it had been over Candy, the bullies girl, that Dean had winked or some such thing. Others said it was a card game. The stories got crazier and crazier as the year had gone on and never once had Hazel seen Dean try and prevent them. It was like he wanted to be an outsider; which only made him all the more mysterious.

Dean seemed like the kind of guy that was a rebel, like James Dean, something that girls fervently whispered about in corners while secretly longing for a wink from his direction. Dean Winchester was trouble, something Hazel had learned to stay away from. But it didn't stop a girls heart from hammering a little faster when he was around, and since the hall was empty there was no other girl he could be staring at.

She didn't know why he stared. But his eyes seemed to be latched casually onto her chest, okay that made sense, Hazel thought, because it wasn't an uncommon thing for her…she was more developed than most girls her age. So she wasn't alarmed-at first. But as Hazel stared back, taking in the highlights of his hair at the tips, the steadiness of his green eyed gaze started to distress her. It wasn't her breast which held the larger part of his gaze….but the pentacle necklace resting in the crevice between. And that idea worried her more. His sneer deepened as if he might spit on her from across the hall. Hazel held her palm over the top like she would protect it from his nosy eyes and tried to look cross through her fear. It was then that he slowly ambled over. This of all days to be late, she wished the halls were full so that the crushing energy of his leveled orbs would fade into the background of swirling high school chaos.

'' I heard about you and my brother,'' he drawled out, his seventeen year old voice already deepened with hormones, and oversexed ones if the gossip had anything to say about it. Hazel clutched her books like a shield; Sam was her lab partner and the extreme opposite of Dean.

'' We share beakers and a table in science…so what?'' He smiled indulgently as if he were dealing with a child and shook his head.

'' Is that all you share, Hazel?'' She'd never heard anyone say her name the way Dean said it that day, long and drawn out with implications she was too young to comprehend.

'' What is it exactly that you have heard…..and I wouldn't believe just anything-according to word of mouth you've already screwed half the cheerleaders behind the bandstand.''

'' Exactly my point Hazel, rumors often hold some amount of truth, and it was only three-fourths, I'm not partial to large frolicking mascots,'' Hazel gasped and Dean smiled.

'' Why should I tell you anything….. it doesn't involve you,'' she questioned angered by his flippant tone. Hazel didn't like cheerleaders but no one deserved to be referred to like an object.

'' Because of this..'' and before Hazel knew what Dean was about, he had pushed her books to the floor, and was holding her pentacle with a look of disgust.

'' I hate witches, my brother doesn't need to be getting mixed up in any black masses,'' he replied eying her like she was Satan reincarnated.

'' You shouldn't open your mouth about things your foolish brain doesn't understand, this is white magic and now it has to be re-purified thanks to your grubby hands,'' Hazel pulled the small linked Celtic chain from his fingers and glared. Sputtering a little he looked like his eyeballs were going to pop out of his head, she was guessing not many stood up to him. But he recovered quickly.

'' I know enough….witch'', he spat the word like it was the ugliest most vile thing, as he stepped closer.

'' We may not burn witches anymore…..but I know a few tricks……stay away from Sam!'' The warning cracked the air, like a physical slap. And Hazel was scared of the threat that lingered in those now almost glowing green eyes, but she was also angry. She advanced herself on his already intimidating form and tipped her head up to meet his hard expression with one of her own.

'' You gonna threaten a witch Dean?''

'' I'm not afraid of your kind,'' he answered fists clenched at his sides as if he was thinking about strangling her, with each flexing of his hands.

'' I could curse you…'' it was an empty threat but he didn't need to know that, Hazel continued- wanting to hit him right in the pride, she lowered her voice,

'' I could make it shrivel you know…make it hurt so bad you'd never have another cheerleader.'' Hazel cackled dramatically for comical emphasis but his shell only slipped a little. For a second looking like he might laugh with her.

'' Relax Winchester……I won't harm Sam; I like him he's an excellent lab partner. If anything was to happen personally; which, I doubt he'd have the gumption to park up the courage and do…. I'll make sure to check with you first, _big brother_,'' Hazel grinned making sure to let him know that being a smart-ass wasn't his personal trademark.

'' That's not good enough. I want you to leave him completely alone. I know how you feel about him. I can tell by the way you're always making moon eyes at him.''

When had Dean been watching her with Sam, Hazel thought for sure they'd been alone if not in school? Not that anything had happened…but it never would if Dean followed them around.

'' I think allot of guys are attractive doesn't mean I would go around making out with all of them….besides what could you really do to stop me, and I have to tell you asking me not to has only increased my desire to do it,'' rolling her eyes Hazel rested her hands on his chest to push herself away, and found him to be a pretty immovable force. His eyes twinkled at her antics, there was a hard wall of muscle hiding under that shirt, and especially for a guy so young….what the hell did he do in his spare time, Hazel wondered.

'' I'm sure I could think of something, '' and then he winked. Hazel's face reddened at that unexpected move, was he using his looks to throw her off?

'' I'm not into conceited asses,'' she lashed out.

'' I'll take brains to bronze any day.''

Dean looked confused, as if getting turned away was a new experience for him and he was having a hard time processing the information. He grumbled and then scowled, swearing under his breath.

'' That's not what I meant, I told you I don't like witches…why would I sleep with one?''

'' We're in agreement then…neither one likes the other, and we'll stay out of each other's way,'' Hazel questioned on a sigh, trying not to notice the way his abs had jumped beneath her fingertips.

'' Only if you agree to stay off of my brother,'' his eyes dipped and were suddenly guarded. Hazel felt like there was something else going on in his head, and was instantly curious.

'' What are you so afraid of? I wasn't planning on corrupting him or anything, but I can't dump him off entirely…..We are lab partners, and I have to tell you he's really good, he notices things that I miss, little details, and shortcuts. I would never do anything to lose him as my lab partner. But I can't promise things won't naturally progress towards…..romance….'' Dean interrupted.

'' A spell isn't natural development,'' his eyebrows came together in a frown.

'' There's laws against working magic on someone without their consent, I told you I only do white magic……you know like Tarot readings, meditation, candle magic….I mean I've danced naked at Beltane before, in the woods with my circle…..but just to honor the night and the nature spirits…..I wouldn't even know how to hold a black mass, or whatever you called it,'' Hazel said all this in a rush for some reason she felt she needed to justify herself to him. But she seemed to have lost him on the whole naked in the woods thing, his eyes became very round…..like he was imagining it.

'' You and a bunch of chicks, just naked in the woods,'' his eyes glazed over and became very far away as he smiled this weird smile.

'' We'll sure, I mean sometimes guys come also…not all Wiccan's are female.'' Okay maybe she should steer the conversation away from naked girls in the forest, Dean was looking altogether too giddy.

'' Look Dean, '' Hazel said smacking him in the arm to get his attention.

'' I'm not a seductress, I won't force anything on Sam.''

He looked like he might believe her….but she had the feeling it took more than words to garner trust from this Winchester.

'' Just remember I'll be waiting to make sure……and I mean it, no dry humping, holding hands…anything.''

''Seems a little double standardish don't you think, when you're off humping to your heart's content, I'm not contagious you know,'' She replied looking clearly into his moss green eyes; Goddess save her from the Winchesters, she vowed silently, these boys were far too good looking, and Hazel didn't think Sam even knew it. Dean sure as hell did though.

'' It's not about him not humping…it's about protecting him from you!'' That comment stung a little. Hazel thought she was way past worrying about being judged for her beliefs, but apparently not when it came to incredibly sexy ego-maniacs.

'' Oh, that's right cuz I'm the Anti-Christ and all, well you'll have to excuse me…I've got masses to schedule and souls to sign in blood, and if you play your cards right I might just use you to pull my demonic sleigh back to hell……I've always wanted an inflated ego of my own, perhaps we could just float there,'' she batted her eyelashes and spun the dial on her bright orange locker to closed. Bending to heft her science books from where Dean had knocked them Hazel nearly choked as she felt the flat of his hand smack her jean clad ass.

Hazel straitened abruptly, jaw working its way towards anger.

'' That's for being a smart-ass,'' he replied cocky eyebrow tilted. Hazel could still feel the outline of his palm against her skin, and got the distinct impression he was just waiting for her to say something…..daring her with his eyes to make the next move- to tell on him.

'' At least I'm not a dumb-ass,'' Hazel retorted through gritted teeth.

'' and consider any deal I might have mentioned off, as far as I'm concerned you just declared war.''

'' Fine with me, go ahead and run and tell, I don't give a damn,'' Dean spat.

'' Naw, that's too easy-expect to be surprised.'' Hazel stated leaving a wondering Dean standing in the empty hall way. Hazel headed off to science class. Let him chew on that for a while, it would hopefully drive him crazy not knowing, and if he really did think she had some great mystical black art power….there were no boundaries to what his imagination would cook up.

*****************************************************************

'' Your ass hole brother sends his regards','' Hazel stated setting her books down next to Sam's on thier station. He looked up through his shaggy hair, his coffee colored eyes coming across as hazel in the morning sun, and he smiled. How could two brothers smiles speak such different languages Hazel just wasn't sure. But Sam's was sweet and a little shy…he was adorable in a completely different way than his brother.

'' Sends his regards?'' he asked already opening the text book to the page written on the board.

'' Oh, we had a chat in the hall, he wants me to stay away from you…'' she said this trying to sound as if the words weren't as important as Dean had made them.

'' But we're Lab partners…'' Sam looked puzzled and just so his brother wouldn't get to him first Hazel told him straight out.

'' He thinks I'm out to seduce you into the darkness…or something stupid like that.'' Sam blushed crimson and stopped flipping pages in mid-turn. His jaw hardened then and she saw the determination that she'd seen in Dean earlier. Perhaps there were likenesses between them.

'' That's none of his business…shouldn't I have the say in whether I get seduced or not, besides Hazel it's not like you are some demonic succubus or anything.''

Hazel dangled the pentacle in his face so he would see what Dean had, and his look cleared.

'' But that's for protection right, you told me that the first day we met.''

'' Of course, but I don't think he believes me, he actually said the word black mass…..maybe he thinks I sacrifice babies or something.'' Hazel started laughing.

The idea was ridiculous, Hazel thought, she had never met a dark witch but thought maybe some of the more lavish stories were bull shit. She looked back towards Sam his eyes now glinting like dark shards over his tightly set mouth and felt the need to say something.

'' I'm sure he just thinks he's protecting you…..'' Hazel trailed off as Sam interrupted her.

'' He treats me like I don't even have a mind of my own, as if I wouldn't have noticed you were some dark witch…..I'm not a kid anymore, actually I'm almost taller than him now….and like he has room to talk of any romantic pursuits, he can't even be with one girl for longer than a night!''

Sam's voice was trembling a little now she'd never seen him get so upset; perhaps, she shouldn't have said anything. Hazel lay her fingers across his arm and his eyes immediately cleared at the feel of her touch.

'' Don't worry Sam I'm not going anywhere,'' she tried sending a calming energy his way through her touch, and was surprised by the depth of dark emotions just below the surface…….What would cause that much angst in someone so young? Hazel pulled back as if burnt before she knew what she was doing, and he looked up at her confused.

'' What is it?'' he asked.

Hazel suddenly wished she hadn't revealed as much about her powers to him. But he had just been so charmingly curious. Hazel couldn't seem to stop talking to him. He'd made her feel like she could tell him anything. And Sam never judged her when she talked about her natural empathy, in fact he seemed to actually believe her…..And considering no one else ever had, not even her aunt who she lived with now…..Hazel had just unburdened everything to him, it had felt relieving to have someone look at her as if he understood, the way it felt to be different and not be able to do anything about it.

'' Nothing….'' Hazel tried avoiding his eyes because she had a hard time lying to Sam.

'' It's not nothing, it looked like it hurt when you touched me…..and you've told me how you sense things sometimes when you touch people or objects…..''

'' Look this isn't really the time……how bout later, we'll talk after school.'' At first she thought he wasn't going to give but then he smiled lightly, looking shy once again. Hazel could barely make out the rims on his pupils through his rag tag hair.

'' In the same place, after school,'' he asked holding his pinky out for a promise…..no backing out of this one.

Why had Hazel let herself get so attached so quickly, she wondered, with what she'd felt about him, caring about someone who'd had that much turmoil in their life, could only lead to more turmoil. Hazel hooked her pinky through his. Her tiny one curled around it and she looked down at the joined link, it suddenly seemed to symbolize more than she wanted to admit to herself.

'' Same place,'' she repeated smiling up into his eyes despite the unease that even now rippled down her spine.


	2. Chapter 2

***********************************************************************************

**Face Down**

**Chapter two**

(Scene change-present day)

Sam couldn't believe he'd been that bold. Once he'd known how she felt, once he touched her and saw the dilation in her eyes and the hitching of her breath. Her very chemical, yet physical reaction stimulated one of his own. And the freedom of understanding he could do that her- left an erotic impression he hadn't wanted to control. So, the interrogation had turned quickly from getting answers to the tactile sensations his fingers shaped. And his desire to make her pulsate with that same need overcame everything else.

At first it had puzzled him. Why a stranger would affect him that strongly. Until, the specially made pentacle had slipped free in the heated frenzy, not to mention his name from her lips. Sam remembered the gift well. Because of all the time he had spent melting and welding the iron pentacle inserting a black circle of obsidian stone for a firmer protection. It was hard enough leaving. The necklace had been his way of keeping her safe after he'd left. Sam had also hoped, selfishly, she might remember him every time she gazed into that ebony stone.

They had kept in touch for a couple years but as most people in his life beyond his family. The letters had eventually dwindled in number, after a few years, dropping off completely. It was right around then he had decided the hunting life wasn't what he wanted. Decided he didn't want short acquaintances that led to lonely memories. So, that's when he had thought of his and Hazels secrete desire, something they had talked about often together. After his teacher had taken an interest in one of his last schools and after his official growth spurt had started.

Going to college had been a fantasy for them; something they would talk about with great interest, even if they both knew the chances were slim. They still liked to pretend one day they would go together, they even had a stash of brochures each had collected from various locations, kept in a tin in their secret spot. Together they spent hours poring over the different schools; reading them out loud with excited voices and animated features.

It had been one hell of a fight with his dad when he'd told him he was going. He kept remembering Hazel's face and it drove him on. By the time the fight was over he was truly alone, the one man who was supposed to be supporting him had turned his back. Sam had forgiven his father. Since, it was useless to be angry at the dead. But only recently a few years back.

Once Sam had made it to Stanford it had been sad at first; knowing, he was there without her. It made him feel disloyal in a way. But he knew she would have wanted him going anyway, even if she couldn't be there. In one of his weakest moments he considered tracking her down. And finding the woman in the memory of the girl he once knew but he was unsure whether his remembering of their friendship would be the same as hers. Hazel must have had many friendships since theirs. And he didn't know how he would react if she no longer wore nor had the keepsake he made for her.

So, it had been lonely at first in school but that was something Sam had been used to before, something he thought he could get used to again. And then one night in particular when he was just plain tired of playing the mopping freshman he'd gone down to the local hangout, determined to make some kind of social connection. Sam sat in the corner sipping his light beer and brooding into the foamy suds when he realized how socially awkward he'd always been.

After all, life with the Winchesters didn't exactly prepare one for learning to make friends. There was too much moving around involved. After a while you got tired of trying to make friends and just stayed to yourself. And then as he contemplated heading back to his dorm and wearing the status of social Praia like a badge, as proudly as he could, that's when Jessica had sat down across from him. And holding out her hand with her beautifully manicured nails spoke to him.

''If you glare any harder at that glass than I might just be forced to believe you are as moody as you look.''

And that's all it had taken for Sam, Jessica had seen a potential in him when he'd needed it the most, just as Hazel had all those years before and Sam was in love before the third shot hit the table. Jessica had confided in him later that she'd known that first night when she'd seen him sitting alone. That he was something special, that he was no ordinary guy. It did bother him that the only Sam Jessica had ever known was the pre-law guy, that he had not told her just how _special _he really was….But at the time he was so sure that hunting would never be his life again.

Sam felt the stab of grief not as strong as it had been but grief that would probably always be present; he regretted not sharing everything with her. She might just be alive if he had. But there were other battles now and even if time didn't completely heal all wounds it helped to mask the pain, and make things easier to deal with. And right now he had a job to do- regrets were for the past and with Dean still gone he had bigger issues to worry him.

Things had been unusual with Dean gone and the trickster still out there. Sam had found he had more of Dean's brash balls then he'd ever given himself credit for. He knew he'd become obsessed with the demi-god and a certain detachment had come over him now when he hunted. A disregard for limits he never would have bent before. He had immersed himself completely in the world of the hunter. Just as his dad had years ago. And it had felt good. But seeing Hazel had brought back everything. All the feelings he'd been engulfed in but trying to forget for months. As his hunt to get Dean had taken over all.

And when he'd seen Hazel, then mystery girl, standing at the end of the library isle something had clicked in his mind and as she'd gone to grab that book, a book only someone with specific needs would be interested in. He _had_ considered wrestling her for it; which only surprised him more when she'd made that exact comment.

So Sam had decided, because it was just too coincidental they would be after the same thing; perhaps, she was involved somehow in the trickster's scheme. But when he felt her like honey melting around him. His plan of interrogation faded in her eyes. Sam thought for sure his body recognized her as surely as his body had responded to her all those years before, when they'd shared the same dream.

So Sam had stood transfixed wanting to place her uncommon aquamarine features, only to discover he couldn't. Hazel's hair which had been close to her namesake was now an ash blonde. And her lips full almost pouty lips below light blue eyes. She looked nothing like the Hazel he had known. The girl witch, who had been his first sexual encounter.

No they'd never finished the act. But had played around in the way innocence do, fooling around but always in secret because Dean didn't agree. But now Sam understood. He saw how it was possible for his body to respond to hers in memory even when he didn't recognize her features. She had been his first love. The short four months they had known each other some of his favorite in memory, before Jessica. And Hazel had known him completely there'd been no lies, her empathy had made that impossible….Sam had never had that with anyone else. Yes, Hazel had shown him what real intimacy was, without her there might have never of been a Jessica.

Shaking himself he came back to the present. But damnit Hazel had taken the book, so why was he standing here when he should be tracking her down. For the first time in months Sam had lost sight of his goal. Standing in place long enough to give her a decent head start…what the hell was wrong with him? Sam lunged for the door and swung through…he couldn't let Hazel get away, not just for the book but too many things didn't add up and he planned to find out just what Hazel was up to.

**************************************************************

Hazel stooped down in the stairwell; breasts heaving beneath her half closed blouse. The metallic clunk of the door three flights up brought the darkness together. And the neon buzz of the exit sign was as loud as the beating of her heart and just as erratic. Hopefully, the small head start and hiding place was enough; unfortunately, Hazel had dropped the book in her unplanned escape and now was pissed at herself for letting her emotions override her logic. Mad at herself for letting his name escape her lips, and chagrined at the nostalgic feelings it had created in her mind. We'll it could've been worse it could've been his brother's name, Hazel thought disdainfully.

She needed to move yet sat frozen. The instability of the situation as her emotions burned behind her eyes, created a gulf of loneliness that was rising like a flood. Sam deserved better than she'd just given him, he deserved an explanation. He deserved someone who'd want him fully and not while thinking about his brother. Things had been so much easier when they were younger; Hazel had been able to tell Sam anything. She had only ever kept one secret from Sam and that was the way she had ended up feeling about Dean and then Dean's rejection of her. Because she knew it would hurt Sam and she had been naïve enough to believe it didn't matter whether he knew. Besides, Sam had looked up to Dean as surely as Dean looked up to their father.

But they had also been brothers and Hazel knew of Sam's insecurities when he compared himself to Dean; especially, when it came to girls. If Sam believed that Dean had taken her attention just as every other girl had……Well it's not exactly that he took her attention completely away from Sam. Just that it was something different with Dean.

Hazel and Sam had experienced much more emotionally. But there was this connection and fire Hazel couldn't deny was all Dean. Perhaps it was just a silly schoolgirl crush, Hazel thought, Dean probably wouldn't even excite her anymore… And there's no way he could look any better than he did in high school….right?

Suddenly, the door above burst open and Hazel could hear Sam leaping down the darkened stairwell like the Hulk- three steps at a time. There was no way she could outrun him. The door across from her led into the coffee bar slash cafeteria. Supported by all those late night college student study sessions, she supposed. Hazel knew she would be trapped once she entered but it was her last chance..There were no exits in the room but if she could hide and stay quiet enough. Sam might never find her. Hazel fed herself this lie with the accuracy of someone practiced in denial and sprang through the door-Sam now two flights closer.

It was dark in there as well. The electric hum of the cappuccino machine blended well with the florescence of the cold drink freezer. It was a buffet of every different type of caffeine you could think of punctuated by things like peanuts and chewing gum. And the food selection was a quarter away from a vending machine, with absolutely no nutritional value. But this was a college library after all, food came in second to grades.

Hazel jumped the counter managing to roll a few feet and wedge herself quickly and quietly into the darkest and most hidden corner she could find. Then half a second later she heard Sam come through the door as silence greeted the closing latch. She didn't know what she'd been thinking Sam did this shit for a living and now she was the one being hunted; of course, the feeling wasn't new to her. She'd been hunted for years now by the same thing that had killed her mom and dad. A secret society so veiled in history and myth that she had been hoping to find some answers in that book. And look at her now hiding, like a child waiting to be scolded.

She didn't want to face Sam now because in some weird way Hazel thought it would be like facing Dean, the night of their encounter. The night she'd been willing to say yes to the guy she had promised herself she would never want. Because facing Sam meant facing everything else that went along with that time in her life, and Hazel had tried so hard to become someone new….How could she shatter this perfect tough girl image without pulling out the Frankenstein stitches she'd carefully placed. She couldn't be Hazel for Sam anymore. She was Dahlia now, the girl who needed no one…who took care of herself. The Winchesters had been only like crutches before, right?!!?

Hazel could feel Sam's energy sliding through the darkness with a strength and confidence it would be so easy to lean against. The buzz of the soda machine and the cold tile beneath her fingertips kept her tethered to this reality. Kept Hazel balancing the edge between listening for his breathing and hearing her own pulse. Sam was as quiet as he was trained to be, and in that silence every brain cell felt like it was thumping inside her skull the distant thunder of an oncoming catastrophe. Sam Spoke.

'' Do you remember the first night we stayed out till dawn, shivering and pressed together under my jacket cause you had refused to wear Dean's? That was the night you'd told me about your parents, and that was also the night I told you about mine. Do you remember what you'd said Hazel, even after admitting you were glad they were gone? '' Sam paused in the darkness, after all these years, he would know just how to get to her, because he was the only person she'd ever let in.

'' You said you were glad because it was easier to be alone….It was easier to never love……….But then you laughed like it was some kind of joke and told me that I deserved to love…. To be loved and you were great full that I shared some of that with you…..'' Sam sighed the weariness of someone much older exhaled with his words before going on.

'' Well, I was too enamored of you by that point and too much a coward to say anything………..But you were wrong. It's not unfortunate or a curse to have loved……it's when you haven't….when you don't that life turns stale……That's when things aren't worth living. And you…Hazel…..showed me how to do this.'' She could hear him shuffling closer now, the way his mouth had formed her name, she remembered how it felt against her own.

'' So Hazel……..why are you running from me?'' Sam spoke softly in a plea but also hard edged in demand. Hazel could feel his turmoil….he was so close now and it was mixing with hers, as flashes of that night flooded her mind.

***************************************************

Eleven years before……..

'' I don't want to borrow your brothers coat Sam, he'd kill you if he found out.'' Hazel stated tugging off the wonderful smelling worn leather, not telling Sam the real reason she didn't want to be reminded of Dean all night, because she hated him.

'' I can take care of Dean Hazel. It's supposed to get colder later on,'' Sam could be so stubborn sometimes, she thought.

'' I don't want to be responsible for another black eye….Don't you think you've defended my honor enough to that ass-hole?'' Hazel crossed her olive colored arms and tilted her freckled nose refusing the urge to blow a raspberry just to show him how she _really_ felt about Dean. She had to draw the line somewhere.

'' I wish you two would just get along he may be an ass-hole but he is my brother.'' Sam hooked her with his arm and although Hazel usually resisted the gesture with most people, to cut back on empathy shock waves-as her and Sam had come to call them. She didn't resist Sam anymore.

'' He's the one who insists that I am evil Sam……besides being an ass-hole for a number of other reasons. That kinda tops the list…don't you think?'' Brushing her hazel colored hair from her auburn colored eyes Hazel took Sam in with an appreciative glance trying not to look too obvious.

'' He has his reasons for being the way he is……'' Sam trailed off not finishing the sentence. Hazel took this for the perfect opportunity to grab his long fingered hand and pull him towards the hotel room door.

'' Look, your brother could be back at any time who knows how long _Janet King_ will take to please…..I've heard she spends so much time with her pants down. She might just have another appointment, like she schedules them in or something…..I can't believe your brother would even touch that sloppy second with a ten foot pole.'' Hazel giggled at Sam's expression he was so easy to make blush and so adorable that sometimes she went out of her way just to shock him.

'' I think he would touch just about anything with curves…'' Sam was laughing to now as he let Hazel pull him out the door, already almost taller than Dean's 6'2 but still mostly gangly arms and legs she lead him from the room and out into the October night.

The city streets were empty at this time which was common for such a small town and as they walked the sounds of their feet crushing the discarded leaves into mulch became a quiet rhythm. Hazel wondered why Sam's normally so talkative voice had become suddenly so introspective. She knew he hated that her and his brother couldn't get along; perhaps, she should try harder to be nice to Dean.

'' Sam look, I don't mean to act so harshly towards Dean…..It's just he makes me so angry, every time I think he might be an okay guy….he does or says something totally offensive. I don't like to let it bother me but then he does something like give you a black eye when all you were doing is speaking up for me……..'' Sam turned to Hazel so suddenly, taking her hands in his and an immediate empathy shock let her loose in a very old memory.

_Smoke, fire…..a baby bundled inside a young boys arms '' Take Sammy out of here..now Dean-GO!'' _

It was only a flash second; just a piece of Sam's life. But it seemed even then Dean had protected Sam. That must have been when big brother had started taking his job literally, Hazel thought, but why was he so set on protecting Sam from her? Hazel jolted back from Sam just as she always did when he inadvertently fired these empathy shock waves at her, and turned away. This memory was a sad one and when she received these empathy shocks all the emotions usually came along with them. That was one of the hardest side effects of being an empath.

The most painful part wasn't even the memory itself for Sam. Because this was too deep a memory for him to remember, but the not knowing the memory- when he felt for some reason like he was the one responsible for the aftermath. Why he felt this way Hazel wasn't sure. Sam hadn't told her about this, hadn't told her about his mother and how she had died. Hazel couldn't even been sure exactly how she _had_ died.

Hazel could feel Sam hovering behind her wanting to touch her but afraid it might trigger something again. Hazel realized then that she was crying softly. And although she wanted to run she turned slowly and let the streetlight shine on her tears.

'' You never told me how she died…'' Hazel looked up into eyes suddenly filled with shock.

'' Were almost there…..'' Sam stated instead of replying. And catching her eyes in a sad smile ran ahead towards the darkened patch of woodland.

They'd been coming here often in the last few weeks of knowing each other. It had been hard for Hazel to decide to let Sam in on its location. That and it's and existence had been her secret for so long. But after that first night when Sam had earned his honor badge and been punched in the eye, Hazel knew if anyone deserved to see it, Sam did. She raced off in the direction Sam had taken through the dry blowing leaves into the dense undergrowth at the forests edge. Her feet as sure as a ten year olds the full moon wasn't even needed for her to know which way to go.

She found the crack in the limestone crevice easily enough and slipped her fingers down to where the wall separated slightly. The way the moss and wall curved in at an angle made a natural blending that only became apparent if you stepped right up to and through it. Over the years, Hazel had planted her own natural herbs up around it. Some to help protect its location from outsiders, just a small push really. She had planted some Barberry to keep out unwanted visitors and some Burdock for purification and protection. Because this place was her sanctuary and very private, Sam had been the first outsider she'd let in.

As Hazel entered she found Sam already reclining on the soft mossy ground eyes fixed towards the clear open sky, with a moister and sadness that made her want to gather him in her arms. He looked so young there, so uncertain and lost that Hazel wondered what it was about his life that made him feel so hopeless; especially, when he should be enjoying things.

This place was a small limestone recess that opened up to the night above. The ground was covered in soft velvety moss, small clovers and creeping white honey suckle that climbed the rock walls around them. It was about ten feet long and twelve feet wide, with a small drop off to the far side where a natural spring gurgled its way through the rock; carving out a path that might have been hundreds of years old. Being here always made Hazel feel like she was hidden deep in the earth. Yet still able to see the sky twenty feet above her, it was a small hidden paradise a quiet place to think.

'' I wish I could stay here forever with you….'' Sam spoke suddenly his tone was wrenching.

'' Oh come on you know we'd be likely to kill each other eventually,'' Hazel stated, lightheartedly trying to keep the mood from being any more morose.

She lay down next to him so she wouldn't have to look into his desolate eyes. But Hazel didn't escape his mirrored emotions quite so easily as Sam was suddenly up and leaning over her. Her body went into quick reaction mode, almost at once becoming a bundle of excited nerve endings. Like small explosions at all the most sensitive areas. She felt Sam's long fingers moving slowly over her exposed side and she shivered.

Hazel had never been kissed before and somehow felt Sam had never done the kissing. But, she also thought maybe he wanted to, and knew she wanted him to do just that. Pushing her hand upwards she tucked his untidy hair behind his ear letting her nails trail the underline of his thin jaw in a trembling grip and finally coming to the tip to tug his face gently down. Sam didn't need any more encouragement than that as his lips came down over hers in a tentative kiss. It was fast and over before she even knew it had happened but wonderful in the way first kisses can sometimes be.

'' I've been waiting to do that….all night,'' he stated a little bit of his brothers cockiness creeping up in his smile.

'' Oh really……..glad you finally got around to it. I thought I might have to make the first move,'' Hazel joked kissing the end of his nose lightly.

'' You were right by the way….'' she stated.

'' About what,'' he asked looking chagrinned.

'' It is getting cold…..But maybe if you just stay like that, like a big six foot two shield…it will keep me warm,'' Hazel smiled cheekily up at Sam.

'' Not that I'd mind but let's just use my jacket for a blanket instead, I think we both have some things to talk about.''

Hazel felt it only fair that she tell him about her parent's accident in return for his own tragedies….Besides it's always easier to share horror stories when the person you are telling can relate in some way.

*******************************************************************

(present day)

'' I remember it to Hazel. That night was also the first time we kissed…….'' it was almost like Sam was in her head. Stunned, she was up and facing him ready to run, to forget her past, and to deny everything.

'' You must have me confused with someone else…'' Hazel stuttered out looking anywhere but Sam's face.

'' No, I don't,'' he stated firmly continuing,'' There have never been lies between us Hazel… let's not start now.'' His voice was strained and cracking, releasing emotions that swelled up around her.

Hazel looked up and the sadness, even not being able to see his eyes clearly, hit her like a sonic boom, knocking her back a few steps. She had hurt him with her deception. And his pain radiated like a furnace, heat sidling like an angry snake that's venom was slowly poisoning her limbs. Was all this pain, her fault, she wondered.

'' You knew who I was…….why didn't you say something…..You let me believe you were someone else….why Hazel,'' Sam pleaded coming closer even as Hazel moved away from the tidal of emotions that advanced. His emotions swelled like a wall of water…..whatever he'd been through since they were parted, had affected him on the most base level…Hazel had never felt so much melancholy from one man.

'' I thought it might be better if I didn't say anything..,'' she answered, unable to lie under his emotional strain.

'' Why?''

Sam moved forward quicker now and she ducked around the dessert trolley wanting to avoid him even as she yearned to throw herself around his pain. Hazel didn't think she could become involved again; she didn't need the emotional attachment caused by love and caring about other people.

'' I told you that night it's better to not have anyone…….I rely only on myself, and I'm fine with that,'' she squelched her eyes and fists closed holding tears back with the force of her bitterness.

'' And I told you…. your wrong, it's not better to be alone, to have no one, in fact it's damn right unhealthy,'' she watched as his towering frame, silhouetted in the light of the drink freezer, leaned closer hands gesturing like he would embrace her inside those arms.

'' And what has it gotten you Sam……You tell me about the ones you love and how great it is and maybe I'll listen. Where are these ones you love now….'' only silence followed her question.

'' That's what I thought,'' Hazel stated turning to head for the door. But Sam was at her side using Hazel's elbow to pivot her around before she had a chance to react. And then a flash from him…… a strong empathy shock jolted Hazel, so hard, she fell to her knees. She sat there gasping and staring at her spread fingers with eyes wide and suddenly numb.

'' He's dead……….Dean's dead, and you preach about love……,'' she hauled herself off the ground. Her sorrow at the news of Dean's death quickly becoming anger.

'' I don't want these attachments anymore……I wish this had never happened…'' Sam looked beyond wounded, as the angry tears slid down her face and Hazel said the most hurtful thing she could think of, not thinking of how she would regret it later.

'' And now you have no one Sam Winchester….'' And as if on cue the librarian came through the door.

'' Were closing for tonight…perhaps you kids should leave.'' Looking impatient he stood propping the door for them to hurry.

So gathering her tattered self like the many bent threads of a busted violin Hazel fled the room. The librarian muttering something about lover's quarrel as she passed. Only this time Sam did not follow her. Retrieving her books on the way out the door Hazel made to do one of the things she did best……to disappear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

**Peanut butter and faded wishes**

**Eleven years prior………**

Hazel heard the door slam from across the room and smiled to herself as she finished Sam's pickle and peanut butter sand which. Swirling her peanut butter covered finger in her mouth she turned with a smile expecting to see Sam. But instead of her lab partner his older brother was standing there, so close behind Hazel she had to swallow back a yelp. Surprise kept her finger in her mouth and when she tilted her eyes up towards Dean's, a quick second of embarrassment reddened her cheeks as she noticed his focus on her inserted finger.

Hazel pulled it quickly out and turned from his intense gaze. She didn't have to be touching him to sense the arousal he felt towards her, coupled with confusion and a denial so deep his arousal clamored to stay hidden. Unfortunately, she could still feel the waves of his body heat rolling at her back and shoulders. And his quiet stillness was driving her crazy. Hazel would rather have him yelling at her than this charged silence.

'' It's rude to sneak up on people,'' she stated trying to busy herself with the closing of the pickle jar.

'' I thought you were Sam, I was making his favorite….were supposed to study,'' Hazel intoned wrapping the sandwich in a napkin. She was trying so hard to not feel his internal battle. Besides wasn't it always just sex for Dean, Hazel thought, as if there weren't a hundred other girls who could make him feel the same with just that one suggestive move. She started building that wall layer by layer forcing his loud sexuality from her mind but the progress stopped as his next comment stung her ears.

'' And do you usually suck and swirl for Sam,'' Dean asked voice low and tinged with some unidentifiable emotion. She turned toward him offended he would even ask such a thing, offended he would see her as so little yet still look at her in that hungry way.

'' And if I did- big brother, what would you do,'' Hazel looked up caustically. His eyes like green fire creeping inside to light her own reaction, anger seized in her shaking limbs, she glared.

'' I knew you were nothing but a slut,'' Dean grabbed at her arm his temper seeming to soak from his fingers into Hazel's skin, strange pieces of him rising but not far enough for her to read.

'' Oh and removing peanut butter from ones finger is grounds for the scarlet letter?''

'' You can't tell me that wasn't done on purpose just to draw attention to your mouth. I'm sure Sam would've noticed.'' His grip tightened. Hazel's back still towards him, she could feel her emotions rising at his comments, he thought she was a _slut_ now too, she turned on him sharply.

'' If anyone in this room is a whore….it's not me,'' Hazel could feel the threat of tears as she stared him down, the angry set to his jaw and the hard line of his chest heaved in a visible rush. And the red in his cheeks strained against something akin to a pressure valve. Just like a hundred year old furnace Hazel waited for an explosion; yet, did nothing to cool the progress.

'' So says the girl gobbling her finger like a desperate prostitute,'' Dean motioned a blow job emphasizing the sucking action. Like a boy who'd had too much of the experience already-Hazel was disgusted by his vulgarity, no matter the nagging curiosity. Dean embodied an age old fight, she couldn't quiet name.

'' You seem to do that well Dean, perhaps your man whore ways don't end at women?'' Hazel stated trying to hurt him as much as he was hurting her.

'' You're not even human as far as I am concerned, you're a witch and a slut,'' Dean had grabbed Hazel's other arm and was holding it behind her back.

Hazel could feel his breath heavy against her neck and she cried out, it was like hot coals where her shoulder met the joint. Hazel's tears flowed freely now, the pain of being considered less than human worse than the twinge in her shoulder.

'' I don't need anybody, '' she repeated quietly to herself over and over to cover the pain. Thinking of her parents who she'd never had the chance to know. Or her aunt, who preferred to throw money at her, yet had never hugged her or shown any real emotion in her presence. Hazel felt so fragile in that moment all Dean had to have done was hold her instead of bruise her with his words and she would've folded beneath his touch.

Suddenly Dean's grip loosened as if he realized what he was doing for the first time. And Hazel crouched down to pick up the broken pieces of Sam's sandwich, crying silently and rocking slightly to calm herself. She hated the way she must look to him now; he'd probably retreated because he'd known he had won.

And then out of nowhere Hazel was being hauled to her feet, and then yanked to face Dean. She wished the evidence of her tears were gone as he searched her ashen expression. He looked torn, as if he was tied to two pillars and each was pulling with equal force. Not quite sure of his actions.

Hazel watched as the green in his eyes contracted around the ebony pupil, concern deep beneath the stony exterior like a small gleam in his yellow lashed eyes. Hazel was transfixed, like a rabbit in a snare, knowing it was trapped yet unable to move away. As if in slow motion she felt his hands rise, the tips of his already scared and callused fingers whipping at the tears beneath her eyes. And his eyebrows drawn up like silver bows, pulling concern into his features that was so alien to Hazel that it constricted in her belly the leftover emotion falling away, like ash in a storm.

It was then as they stood anchored by their eyes that the door once again opened and Sam entered the situation. Dean's hands wrapping Hazel's shoulders their bodies close enough to touch with the slightest movement, like nothing else existed. Time seemed caught and suspended as they both turned towards Sam.

'' What the hell are you doing Dean,'' Sam asked, the blame falling quickly towards his brother; because of Dean's harassment in the past he had no reason to think any of it was her fault. Dean seemed to shake himself mentally before turning away from Hazel and addressing Sam.

'' Just having a talk with your friend here about peanut butter regulations,'' Dean turned towards Sam a grin lighting his features like everything was okay.

'' Bullshit…..'' Sam stated coming to Hazel's side and running her frame to check for bumps or bruises, and how fucked up was that, the fact that Sam would even consider his brother a danger in that way made Hazel shiver; of course, this was well before she knew the truth of what they did.

'' She's fine Sam, in fact she was the one who started it in the first place…I think she has some kind of mind control or something……one minute she's sucking her finger and then the next…….'' Sam looked up in exasperation fist clenched and eyes narrowed, the look he gave Dean was nothing if not deadly.

'' You attacked her,'' Sam questioned stepping menacingly toward his brother.

'' Well no, not exactly she was trying to seduce me, or me-who she thought was you, '' at this point Hazel joined in.

'' I was making a sandwich for you and some of the peanut butter got on my finger, it was not completely intentional to turn-thinking it was you-as I cleaned my finger,'' Hazel said all this in a rush, looking anywhere but Dean's eyes; perhaps, he had been right in the fact she wanted Sam to notice her.

'' Oh come on she sucked that finger in a totally ''are you the key master'' kind of way,'' Dean looked appealingly at Sam, droning into his face, in a mock sexy way.

'' Not everything is about sex Dean,'' Dean raised his brow as if to question this comment.

'' Whatever, Dude-I can tell the difference between a totally innocent finger bath, and one with wicked intent behind it,'' Dean crossed his arms, a smug half grin tilting up at the corners.

'' So you cornered her? What were you exactly planning Dean,'' Sam asked eyes starting to look hurt. The implication behind his words clear, he thought Dean might jump her or something.

'' Of course not, I told her exactly what I thought of her ''_performance_,'' Dean finally looked towards her now, all the malice back in his expression like before but she had to say it. Sam had to know what his brother thought of her, no matter how bitter the words. He had to know why she had such a hard time getting along with Dean.

'' He thinks I am a slut and a prostitute..'' Hazel declared, not even able to look up as the words left her mouth and became real in the room around her. Hazel had been called many things but this, she wasn't used to…These words felt more ugly than any of the others before.

Hazel shuffled nervously afraid perhaps Sam might agree with him, afraid of how she would feel if he did. But, suddenly it was quiet and her discomfort grew in a radius around the three of them until Hazel couldn't help but to glance up. The two brothers were locked together in a hardened stare. Sam's more surprised and Dean's looking restrained but ready to fill the brunt of Sam's wrath and fire it back with some of his own. And then out of the tension came an explosion as Sam punched Dean.

Hazel could feel the brothers emotions gathered around them in red angry slashes, sparking outward like crisp lightening. Sam was staring as hard as Dean was and Hazel could almost hear the accusations.

'' _You'd choose a skirt over me Sammy.''_ Hazel was afraid for both of them sure Dean could be an ass, but he must have something that made Sam love him so much. She didn't want to come between them but now they were cornering each other and positioning themselves in a fighting stance. Hazel couldn't imagine Sam using force to solve anything, and surprise kept her rooted; still, holding the bits of Sam's pickle sandwich she had made him.

'' She's a witch Sammy, centuries of research alone should make you hate her, and if not that than what we do should make you repulsed by her.''

'' She's not evil Dean, not everything abnormal is evil…'' and then Sam lunged missing Dean before swiping around with his leg to catch Dean behind his. But Dean had already anticipated this move and was now over the back of the couch and smiling.

'' You're getting too predictable Sammy, time to switch up the routine….'' before he could finish Sam kicked high with one leg bending Dean at the waist, as he slammed his fist into Dean's exposed side. Dean went down long enough to roll away but then was back up with a grin so huge Hazel could swear he looked proud.

'' Perhaps, those Sasquatch legs of yours will come in handy after all,'' he ducked as another huge foot came arching over his head, laughing and weaving to the side.

By now they were both slightly panting but not as much sweat had broken out on their foreheads as one would suspect; which led her to believe this was common for them and probably the strangest most out of place display episode Hazel had ever seen.

'' She's my friend Dean, and if you can't show her some respect than stay the hell away from her….you don't have to like her-but suck it the fuck up, and leave her the hell alone.''

Nothing had been resolved that night but a thin thread of acceptance, sure they agreed, they agreed to not except the others point and all of us we at that same stalemate we were always at; at least until something else would happen.

Hazel remembered the next day at school, running into Dean while skipping class. Well, actually it was more like he ran into her. Hazel had tucked herself neatly into the corner of the boiler room. The smell was musty and the concrete cool on her legs. The corner adjacent was fitted with a dirt stained window, smudged and slightly open the lock had been easy to pick. Hazel was still upset about an episode earlier in which Dean had mouthed the words '' slut'' to her from across the lunchroom. She was in fact so upset that she had come down here to think things through and try and come up with a way to make some kind of peace between them-if not for her than for Sam.

But the more Hazel thought about Sam and his dimpled smile, the more she couldn't help thinking about him in other ways. She'd had a crush on him since that first day he'd stammered out an introduction, looking at her in a way that no one else ever had, looking at her as if she was glorious and not ill fitted. He made Hazel feel like the only girl in the room and still did. She'd been made fun of so often for her beliefs that she'd started to think no man would ever see her with the eyes in which Sam did.

Hazel had wanted Sam in other ways she didn't completely understand yet, dark and sensual ways but not fully comprehendible in her adolescence. Hazel had come to fantasize about him quiet often doing things to herself that her strict aunt would find perverted. Things Hazel's aunt would never talk about. Hazel's Aunt claimed to be a bride of God and attended church every weekend. At first when Hazel was younger she had taken Hazel with her but as she'd grown Hazel seemed to embarrass her with her pentagram dangling over her church cloths. Even then Hazel never took it off it was the one thing that helped her feel connected to her mother.

Hazel fingered herself and imagined it was Sam. Tired of the taunting Hazel wanted to feel she belonged to someone and rubbing in slow circles she envisioned him above her. Hazel didn't care if it was dirty, she just knew it felt good and it felt right and beautiful. Hazel's head rolled back as her lips parted she thought of Sam's mouth covering hers, and his large hands rounding her nipples. How could this be wrong, Hazel thought. Her hair tangled into her face as the sweat broke out on her forehead. Then Sam's name came out of her mouth as if she needed to confirm the act in his name. Show the whisperings of arousal just who had brought on the act.

And in her obsession, Hazel's ecstasy… she didn't hear the footfalls till it was too late. Hazel jumped as the blurry figure came into focus, mortified to see Dean standing before her-hands in pockets and mouth hanging open. His green glowing and half closed, as if he were sleepy.

Hazel gasped and turned towards Dean, her blush deepening to a scarlet and her cheeks flaming. He was looking at her in that way of his, the way that made him seem ready to pounce.

Hazel could feel it in the strength of his hardened jaw and the clenching of his fists at his side. The air like a vacuum was charged and Hazel couldn't seem to draw enough breath to say anything. It was if time had slowed and with growing trepidation she heaved beneath his heavy lidded gaze. She was too shocked to move in that instant- Her stomach felt like it was falling through jello, slipping down to her only recently tingling toes.

Had Dean seen the whole thing, Hazel wondered, her chest constricting at the idea. And Dean seemed as if he was wrestling with something, in fact he looked down right uncomfortable. A way Hazel had never seen him look. Served him right, she thought, anger now replacing her trepidation. She tilted her chin in defiance daring him with her glare to say something

'' I knew it…'' he said smirking and stepping forward.

'' You do want my brother….well let me tell you something sister-you engage in any of that rubbing with my brother and I swear to god….I will hunt you down, and nothing- and I mean not even Sam will be able to stop me.'' The look in his eyes left no doubt that he wasn't lying, then before leaving.

'' But thanks anyway for the show,'' and Dean left throwing a dollar at Hazel's feet like a tip, Hazel cried.

It was something she never told Sam about, it was too much for her to bear, the violation and embarrassment too deep. But that day she lost some of her innocence, or it was ripped from her anyway….and Hazel resolved to hate Dean Winchester even more. Unfortunately, Hazel wasn't that lucky by the time she started to get to know him through Sam- and god it would have been so much easier if she hadn't. Now when Hazel fantasized it was only about Dean and how things could have been different if she didn't have these powers. But there would be no more fantasies for Dean, not when he was dead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

**The Present Coming Together with the Past**

Sam was so happy to see his brother when he awoke that morning, and no Asia was playing that he forgot about Hazel, that is until they just happened to run into her one night in a small town bar. At first Sam hadn't realized it was her, until he saw that dangling chain in the lamp light. He wanted to go to her immediately and to hold her close but he wasn't sure how his brother would react, Dean had hated Hazel back in their school days-he just hadn't been able to separate her from the evil they hunted. Perhaps, he would wait and scope out the situation.

Sam noticed how she still wore the hat and glasses as she sat down, considering the time of night, the action spoke volumes without having to say a thing. The booth she entered was already occupied by a huge man who sat like a body guard stiff and unsmiling. And then she did something odd- she handed a book to strange and unsmiling, passing it slowly with question in her bent brow. Was that the same book she'd been so determined to see in the library?

The man nodded and then tucked the book back inside his coat, he got up to leave and Hazel sat back with a look of relief about her slumped form. She removed the glasses and hat and ordered a beer. Sam's curiosity was eating at him and he was glad he had chosen the darkest corner to sit in, veiled in shadows it was easier to study her face.

And then Dean came back. He was counting out his winnings with a Cheshire grin. He leaned against the table and took a long draught from his beer smacking Sam on the back he noticed his brother's focus was elsewhere, so he turned to see.

'' Excellent taste, my brother…..So, are you just going to stalk her with your eyes or were you planning on talking to her?''

Sam looked up and gulped back his reaction, he wasn't sure she would talk to him but perhaps he should try, Dean obviously didn't recognize her. Just as much as Sam had that day in the Library, Hazel was no longer a girl.

'' Shouldn't hesitate Sammy it's your greatest weakness…..losers weepers,'' and Dean started off in the in the direction of Hazel.

At first Hazel thought her eyes were playing tricks on her, as a man who looked liked a perfectly healthy and _alive_ Dean Winchester walked out from the hazy atmosphere….followed by a nervous looking Sam. It had to be him she would remember that walk anywhere, all confidence and all male. The crooked grin he leveled her way had never been directed at her and she felt light headed, there is no way he knew who she was. But it was defiantly Dean. Hazel could feel him, his energy his swaggering arrogance from across the room. And it was as if she were back in high school. Control yourself Hazel, she ordered, if only he didn't seem so much bigger and so much darker. The _Danger abort mission _alarm bell seemed to be going off somewhere. But Hazel couldn't look away, it was like the dead had risen….And this was one zombie Hazel couldn't imagine shooting in the head, not one that looked like that.

He couldn't know who she was, and so she gathered her wits and prepared for the meeting she had hoped for, had hoped against; since she watched their red tail lights burning through the night when they left with their father. The silence and obligation of being alone echoed in those last few moments. But that was a long time ago….she wished the memory didn't suddenly seem so close.

The surge of release as she breathed out quelled the horror, and lingered in flames that licked up Hazel's face as she blushed. This was impossible…wasn't Dean dead? She felt Dean's energy stile as strong and warm as ever, it covered her like a blanket bringing her comfort while at the same time making her want to lunge across the table and kiss him, or box his ears for making her cry over his death. It had to have been a small blip, a mistake in her readings of Sam; surly, that night she had felt Dean's death, right?

But Dean Winchester was alive, her visions had never been wrong before, was that why Sam hadn't pursued her, he'd been in shock. Just as Dean made to open his mouth Sam also sat down. And Hazel gulped not even noticing the quieter Winchester as she'd been lost in her thoughts of Dean. Nothing had changed….and that scared the hell out Hazel. Suck it up girl; she thought, centering herself in the booth, for tonight had just gotten a whole of a hell lot messier.

'' Hi, guess we didn't introduce ourselves properly last time…..My names Sam,'' and Sam offered his hand. Hazel was so grateful that he wasn't telling Dean who she was that she responded with a wide smile of thanks and a handshake.

'' Hi Sam my names Dalhia, I wanted to thank you for helping me reach that book in the library a few weeks ago.''

Dean looked cross eyed at Sam and elbowed him obviously in silent communication. Hazel could almost hear the words, ''_Dude where have you been hiding this one,''_ as he eyed Hazel with a wolfish grin.

'' And I'm Sam's brother Dean……you know the good looking one..'' Hazel stifled a giggle, he was just as cocky as ever but she wasn't about to let him know she might agree with him.

'' Well, I don't know about that….you both look pretty good to me,'' and she laughed as a look of repugnance crossed Dean's features. Hazel laughed out loud; apparently, not much had changed since high school.

'' Hey were close but not that close sweetheart, sharing is not something we do.'' Hazel laughed harder.

'' Oh Dean, we've only just met….you do have a fantastic imagination, we aren't in a porno you know.''

'' Sometimes Dean gets confused, you'll have to excuse him,'' Sam stated giving his brother a cut the crap look, which only earned him an eyebrow raise and smile from Dean.

'' Anyway,'' Dean said ignoring Sam's look and turning back to Hazel.

'' Thought I could buy you another drink and find out how exactly you met Sammy here,'' he slapped Sam in the shoulder causing Sam to wince a little, and look at his brother in exasperation.

'' In the library Dean,'' Sam answered stubbornly, he looked almost sulky- and it made Hazel wonder what had happened to the happy boy she'd met eleven years ago.

It was then Hazel felt the presence of one of the society's members and her expression turned to ice, they'd followed her here, she questioned herself; which, meant they probably had the book. Hazel was furious and not thinking grabbed for her two bladed daggers she always kept ready for such situations…it was the only thing that seemed to kill the bastards.

The blades were short and easy to conceal, carved with symbols Hazel was in the process of deciphering, or had been if the book was still safe. She knew they meant something..or they wouldn't 't be quiet so useful against the cloaked danger, well not always in cloaks..sometimes they seemed to be just ordinary men. And then like deranged jack-in- the boxes they would pop out at her. Hazel was very familiar with the element of surprise, after so many close calls, she had learned to adapt…to expect the unexpected… And to always be on the ready.

Hazel looked out across the expanse of the bar for who she could be honing in on; she didn't notice how quickly Dean had spotted the knife, until his warm grip was covering hers. The contact of his skin on hers brought all of her senses to that focused point, circling inside her with a shutter of emotions as their eyes met.

'' Not in here sweetheart…besides who you planning on using that lethal thing on. I don't see any monsters..'' His eyes crinkled when he said this like it was all a big joke.

He already had her pegged for a hunter. But before Hazel could answer a man was fast approaching their table. Hazel felt a chill as his shadow lengthened along the smooth grained top, and pleaded with her eyes into Dean's to release his grip. The steadfast way he gazed back let her know he wouldn't let go. It was a seconds battle of wills, not long but seemed to last too long.

'' Sorry buddy the ladies already occupied, so why don't you crawl back into whatever little hole you climbed out of..'' Dean glanced up as he said this giving Hazel the perfect opportunity to pop her leg up under the thankfully not screwed down booth, raising it just enough to slam it right into the guys forehead with the force of her weight. It was on.

Sam and Dean leapt back and Hazel lunged forward, leaving her knife to Dean before round housing the man in front of her. She remembered all she had been taught. So Hazel wanted to make sure he would go down so she would have time to escape. She gave him one last hard kidney punch and left him vomiting on the floor.

She was outside in a flash hoping there was only the one guy, because they usually seemed to travel in packs. If only Dean hadn't taken her knife, she might not have a chance without it. Hazel cursed under her breath. But there was no one outside, and it was quiet enough to worry her, like a moment of calm before the storm.

Dean and Sam came running out just as Hazel was climbing onto her bike. And the look on Dean's face was priceless when he saw her atop that hug Harley, but Hazel had no time to enjoy it the guy could pop out at any moment. Those fuckers seemed to be extra human, they never went down easily, Hazel considered. There had been times when she hadn't been sure she'd make it out. But Hazel had so far come out the victor; unfortunately she couldn't afford to be cocky. And it was time for her to go.

Hazel made it back to the hotel room and immediately began packing, hoping she could get out quick enough. She regretted not getting to spend more time with Dean and Sam, even just a little but they were her past and could never be her future. Oh Dean, she had been so glad to see he was alive that Hazel had let her guard down. She should have known one of _them_ was nearby the second he entered within a five mile radius….her abilities had saved her more than once in this fashion. Hazel was knocked out of her thoughts by the sound of a door being kicked in, her arms pinned to her sides - Hazel screamed -her emotions locking out any logic. Until, she heard his voice soft yet rough in her ear.

'' You forgot your toy sweetheart,'' the feeling of Dean's body pressed so intimately to hers and his breath tickling her neck, brought a reprieve so intense and a sexuality so powerful she didn't know whether to weep or to climax.

Eleven years earlier……

The tears seemed to go on forever; after Hazel left the boiler room she couldn't seem to stop them. Hazel couldn't understand why she let Dean get to her on such a deep level. Hazel was used to living in a house that always seemed more like a mausoleum, or a museum to listen for every distant creek or groan. At first when she was a child and had come to live after her parent's accident the house had felt more haunted and barren than comforting. But the old debutant had grown on her, and for some reason it felt more akin to a friend now than the unfamiliar. Hazel saw the house as she saw herself, something that might once have been great left to whither, left forgotten.

Hazel should have hated her aunt Meridith Whitecomb for this very reason but the emotions behind her aunts crumbled smile, and the emotion left unspoken between them, made it easy to excuse the actions of her aunt. Her aunt had never been loved either by family or man, the responsibly as the eldest falling to keeping a proper line of respect for the family name….and by the time she had finished raising Hazel's mom Meridith had felt too old to try any longer. Her ways of distancing herself in order to keep the fortune and name above level had become habit; and she no longer knew how to feel close to anyone. But there was something else as well…something Hazel didn't feel as often but was like a dull throb underlying her aunt's thoughts-it was faint and puzzling. It was fear Hazel saw in her aunts eyes…when she thought Hazel was turned away or not paying attention.

The only reason Hazel could come up with for her Aunt Meridith to be afraid of her was her gift, or curse depending on how you wanted to look at it. Hazel's parents had always nurtured her empath abilities and had never made her feel unwanted, or unwelcome in sharing them….thinking as a child that this was the way she would be welcomed by her aunt, in childlike naivety , Hazel made the mistake of asking about her Aunts thoughts.

Hazel was so terribly lonely, that when she realized her aunt felt the same, she had spoken without reservation. It was right after her parent's funeral and Hazel sat still in her black ruffled dress, her hands folded and eyes cast down. She was picking up on the energy vibrations of the room around her as she always had…not intentionally but partially scared for her future. Hazel thought she might find comfort in her aunt's motives, because she felt so lost. She was in the chair in the parlor, pretty with a pink cushion but sharp and uncomfortable on a little girl's legs. But Hazel didn't complain she wanted so to make her aunt see how agreeable she could be. And she had noticed during the funeral how stiff and regal her aunt had seemed. Hazel thought that if that was what it took to get her aunts approval she would behave the same. Hazel's aunt was pouring brandy from a crystal decanter and for the first time they were left alone. Hazel noticed the way Aunt Meredith felt all nervous and fluttering, the shaking of her hands like tiny vibrations that screamed with silent panic. Hazel wanted badly even in her own pain to ease her Aunts agitation; they were going to be family after all.

So Hazel had jumped on the first available thing that they seemed to have in common and made the most terrible mistake, separating them instead of allying them.

'' I know you fraid Aunt Meredith, it's not you fault, I'll try hard to be quiet….''The thing Hazel's Aunt had been thinking all the while. Thinking about the way Hazels mom had been a handful to take care of…she seemed to blame her mom for _taking her life_- something young Hazel couldn't grasp, or she might not have said what she did.

And her Aunt Meradith had looked at Hazel in horror, as if she were seeing her for the first time, as if Hazel was a monster. Her Aunt's back stiffened archly all her emotions sucking in towards a cold dot at her center, a dark icy place that frightened Hazel with its intensity. Hazel had never felt anything so deep and boiling all of her eight years from anyone, it was like an infested wound. And Hazel had managed to reopen it, letting loose a scourge of bitterness.

'' Just aunt is fine…..your room is the first on the left at the top of the staircase….. There you can rest until supper. We eat at six exactly…be on time or don't come at all…I'm going to my chambers… never disturb me there.'' Then her back was turned again as if she was dismissing a servant and Hazel realized she might as well be-she was alone.

Over the years Hazel had hoped her Aunt would warm up but every inch she thought she gained was always followed closely by a steep decline and her Aunts drinking would flare up again. Hazel knew it was linked to her presence but her Aunt never said so directly and it always felt so personal. It was when her aunt was drinking that she saw the other side of things, felt the self loathing, felt sorry for her. Some nights it was so bad Hazel would help her Aunt to bed but was never allowed inside the room.

And at school it had been worse. For years she'd been made fun of, picked on, spit on-all because people were afraid of what they didn't understand. And she thought it had hardened her, hardened her reaction against caring what others thought of her. Yet, here she sat, eyes swollen, nearly to the point of zero visibility. Hazel had been unable to go to science class, unable to look Sam in the face and pretend nothing had happened. Because Sam was always able to tell when something was wrong, and the event was too new to pretend innocence.

Hazel was gulping and trembling- the soft moss of her secrete place swaddling her body. Yet it gave none of the comfort she was used to. Not even the sound of the water splashing the slick rocks lulled her senses. Nor the idea of being alone a comfort, as it usually was. When had she last needed someone like this? She didn't like the feeling at all…to need someone else was hard on the heart.

Hazel's legs jerked in surprise when she felt his warm body pressed into hers. Hazel knew instantly it was Sam and she wasn't sure if she was more relieved or panicked. Hazel was afraid to tell him about her foray into the deep and intimate with Dean, afraid of his reaction. But she melted into Sam as he soothed his hands down her arms in a comforting motion, and to her horror, she cried even harder.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

**More Past and Present**

'' I knew you'd be here…,'' Sam whispered softly into Hazel's hair.

She felt the tickle of his breath but he didn't go on. Sam was searching for the words. Could he possibly feel as lost as she did, Hazel wondered. Completely exhausted by the continuous flow of tears, Hazel felt herself slipping into an old memory of Sam's. And unable to block it she let it drift over her. Hazel began to realize, because of this, why Sam and Dean were so close-a memory that made it all that much harder to hate Dean.

_The room was small and dark, lit feebly by one shabby hotel room lamp. She could see the small form of a boy with dark hair leaning over an article and highlighting parts as his legs swung against the legs of the chair. It was strange seeing Sam so small. _

'' _Dean…..do you think it was a good idea for dad to go after this thing himself? I mean he's not invincible…..'' Dean came into view he looked to be about 13 and he was holding the pieces to a gun in his hands and cleaning them, as if he had been doing it for years._

'' _Sammy…..I've told you before, dad is too good to let anything happen…besides if he thought he couldn't handle it he would have called Bobby, or Pastor Jim………''moving forward Dean leaned against the chair where Sam sat._

'' _You can't keep thinking about it Sammy….'' Sam sighed and interrupted._

'' _But he is just a man….and we wouldn't know…..….I'm tired of being the research slave….when is he gonna let me come along….you've gone with him, I feel so useless……'' Sam's mouth drooped inward as he concentrated on the sheet before him._

''_look at this thing Dean it doesn't just kill you it takes your soul…..can you even live without one of those,'' Sam's small brows crinkled together, and a serious expression followed, one that should never be seen on such a small child's face. _

'' _Look Sammy don't worry so much….I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere..'' Dean patted small Sam on the shoulder and grinned._

'' _I promise……besides you just started training you're not ready, you should feel lucky Sammy….''_

'' _Why the hell should I feel lucky, with what dad does…we could lose him and never know…..and for some reason you think the guys super human, I don't get you Dean….'' You could see the tears starting to gather in young Sam's eyes. Dean's smile broadened and he leaned in closer._

'' _I've seen him in action Sammy…. and he's amazing……he'll never give up…not until he kills the thing that killed mom, once you see him you'll know…..''_

'' _Besides he's helping people…..so they don't have to go through what we did….''_

'' _I guess,'' small Sam hedged looking a little relieved but still unconvinced._

'' _I promised Sammy……nothing bad is ever gonna happen, I promised dad I would watch you-so cheer up okay, and no more crying, dads gonna think about renaming you Samantha if you don't cut it out,'' Dean ruffled Sam's hair affectionately and punched him in the arm. Sam flinched and rubbed his arm._

'' _What are you gonna do when I get big enough to kick your ass,'' Sam asked with a scowl, Dean laughed._

'' _Yeah right Samantha you'll never be big enough to take me on…..so stop fantasizing short fry,'' he grinned and sat down leaning back as he propped his feet on the bed in front of him and crossed his arms. _

'' _What-ever……'' small Sam stated with a roll to his eyes. And looking down refocused on the paper he'd been going over. _

By the time the memory had faded Hazel no longer felt sad for herself but curious. She turned in Sam's arms and faced him their foreheads resting together.

'' Ready to talk…..'' he questioned brushing the stray hair from her eyes.

Hazel laughed.

'' You did get bigger than Dean…..'' startled then confused Sam looked at her like a long line of Latin had just come out from her mouth.

'' What are you……''she didn't let him finish Hazel was too interested in what she'd seen. But before she could ask about it, there were things Sam would have to know, things she'd never told anyone.

'' We'll you know how I told you I sometimes feel things when I touch people or objects, and that sometimes I don't even have to be touching them….and that I can't really control it…'' Hazel jumbled out quickly trying to tell him. It felt too much like prying anyway and the fact she couldn't block it with Sam only made telling him more necessary.

'' We'll yeah….'' he answered slowly, looking slightly incredulous.

'' Umm….there's other things, that come out to sometimes…..'' Sam started to get up looking worried.

Hazel grabbed his shoulder as he went to turn away and pulled him back around.

'' I can usually control it Sam…..but with you…it's like this crazy shock wave….and I can't block it out….'' she blurted trying to explain herself quickly, before he was in full fleeing mode.

'' Wait are you saying…..what exactly are you implying Hazel…..''

'' I…. see…… memories Sam…..and for some freaky reason I can't block yours out…I thought it only fair to tell you..since it's your memories I'm groping around inside…''

'' No-way…..that's impossible….'' he started and she cut him off.

'' We'll it seems to me you deal with the impossible on a regular enough bases to at least give me a chance to prove it to you…..'' the smile of denial died on his face.

'' What did you see….''

'' Well I'm not exactly sure…but it was a conversation between you and your brother, about your dad coming home alive…..you seemed to be on the worried side, and Dean felt he would always come back……however I'm kinda confused cause I'm not completely sure what you two meant….but I get some foggy impression it had to do with him going after something, something dangerous…..'' Sam's face looked bleached in the pale light of the sinking sun.

'' Perhaps I should go……I'm not supposed to talk about it…..''

'' Please don't….I'm not sure I want to be alone…..if it makes you feel any better I wasn't planning on telling you my problem either…..and I really didn't mean to pry…..you just shoot out these waves at me, and I've tried deflecting them like I do with other people…..but their so intense and vivid with you…..Please Sam….I had to tell you, I hate that I can't block them…….we were just getting to know each other, you're the only person that's ever been nice to me…or even believed me…'' Hazel trailed off her babbling coming to an end as he smiled.

'' It's okay I guess….I actually feel kinda relieved, I'll tell you about it.. if you tell me…..a secret for a secret……why were you so upset?''

'' Well mines nothing huge, just your brother being an ass again..''

'' What did he do this time….''

'' Really- no big deal..'' she insisted shrugging and trying to look blank.

'' Hazel….it had to have been epic to make you this upset….'' could she tell him, it was pretty embarrassing. She didn't have to tell him all of it, like the fact she was calling out his name when Dean found her.

'' Hey if you can peak into my head….there's no good reason to keep things from me..'' he was right of course.

'' It was humiliating Sam……''

'' Don't worry I promise not to laugh….but I reserve the right to do so later in private….'' Okay perhaps she would just give him the general idea….Hazel was getting older after all; she should try and be mature about it. She just wouldn't mention the details, taking a calming breath, she started.

'' I was in the boiler room trying to think of a good way to get Dean to stop hating me….he'd been mouthing the word slut to me during lunch, and I think he was throwing fries…because every time I looked up to see where the fry had come from….he'd be their mouthing the words……..I finally just got tired of it and left.'' She looked at Sam wondering if the next part was even necessary.

'' So he followed you……..'' Sam guessed his expression turning livid.

'' I guess because I thought I was alone, and I started thinking about this guy I kinda like…..''

'' Anyone I know….'' Sam questioned with a wink.

'' That's not the point Sam.''

'' We'll what is then…..?'' Sam questioned eyebrows coming together in an adorable completely clueless way.

'' The point is I was thinking…..and doing that thing you do…when you know..''

'' Know what….''

'' I was fantasizing……getting a little heated…..you know…'' Sam stile looked confused.

'' I was touching myself.'' Hazel blurted. Sam's eyes widened.

'' He didn't try anything….'' Sam asked looking as if Dean were their- he might have punched him again.

'' He threw money at my feet, and thanked me for the show….it was horrible, I felt so dirty….like I was some corner whore,'' Sam's expression was furious.

'' I don't understand why he hates me so much….'' Hazel stated.

Without a word Sam rose….so angry he was shaking.

'' Don't Sam…..it's not worth it…..I'll be fine really…''

'' I warned him yesterday…….if he thinks he can just go on treating you this way….'' Hazel clung to Sam's arm trying to hold him to the spot, they were brothers- and she hated this between them.

'' I'll get over it Sam….I'll just try ignoring him, he loves you…..I could see that in your memory, my pains not worth so much….'' he looked down on me his expression softening.

'' You deserve better Hazel…..I hope this guy you like will realize it…..I think I'm kinda jealous of the mystery man…''

Hazel blushed and looked away.

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Present day

Dean's arms slid down and around her waist managing to keep Hazel captive and still turn her around to face his sharp eyes. Dean had eyes that were too easy to bend beneath, eyes that had seen many lies and faced them down, filing away at the truth.

He was touching Hazel, and all things- emotions, all things not nailed down inside were floating around her-making it difficult to pretend to be unaffected. Hazel tried asserting her wall; layers going up only to be shattered by those eyes. She felt like she was the one being invaded, and the foreignness to the situation left her open and awkward. Hazel felt naked beneath his appraisal, and she did not like it.

'' _Dean talk to me (Sam's voice)…..why nothing you do or say will change anything (Dean's in answer and statement)……dad's dead and it's my fault.'' _

Hazel was swirling and pitching inside specks of a past not that distant. The idea that their father was dead slapped her hard and left Hazel reeling, followed closely by the fact it was Dean's fault or at least he thought so. But there was another thought followed closer by the father's death….it was the _I don't want to die…..I don't want to go to hell…._ that had Hazel standing glassy eyed and stiff inside Dean's arms. His pain and self rejection was so deep Hazel wasn't sure she could take it, and she reacted badly.

'' Don't touch me,'' Hazel stated angrily not wanting to ever feel that hopelessness again, not from Dean, not from the brave boy who she'd once considered loving, giving herself to. Hazel suddenly felt too weak to stand up to that. Dean let her go.

'' What in the hell do you think you were doing back there….attacking something in a public place…what kind of a half-assed hunter are you?'' Dean questioned throwing her knife to the bed.

'' As if I had a choice…'' she spat- hands on hips Hazel poked out her chin in defiance.

'' You always have a choice sweet heart.''

'' Dean…'' Sam began from somewhere behind in the shadows.

'' Don't tell me you thought it was a good plan Sam, it was the Trojan horse without the hiding spot, people could've been hurt….'' Dean was right of course but how do you tell the slinger of truth and justice that you hadn't even considered the lives of the others, that it was just you. Besides, it was her they were after, Hazel thought.

'' He wasn't after anyone else dumb-ass….'' She stated, throwing her knives into her bag, and continuing to pack. She really didn't have time for this. If the Winchesters could follow her, her adversaries could be right behind.

'' He…..it was a man…'' Sam questioned coming into the light for the first time, and suddenly she felt an overwhelming peace in his presence, Hazel smiled. She still loved him as much as ever, just not in the same way she felt about Dean.

'' Oh Sam…..I'm glad to see you again, and I didn't even know I'd be….I was horrible last time,'' Hazel whispered, leaning in and wrapping her arms around Sam. She could hear Dean clearing his throat in the back ground.

'' You two sure seem to know each other well, for a one chance meeting…..anytime- you can let me in on the special occasion flip book,'' Dean looked sourly between them, speculation rising in his eyes.

'' We met during that time you were….you were, well you know the trickster,'' Sam's eyebrows crinkled, and then he smiled down into Hazel's eyes.

'' That's an awful warm greeting for a plutonic meeting…''

'' And that's none of your business Dean..'' Sam stated, giving his brother a hard stare before looking back down at Hazel.

'' Besides, Dahlia here doesn't need for you to hear the play by play.''

'' Well, maybe Dahlia should start explaining why she was about to make mince meat of the dude at the bar,'' Dean looked hard at both of them planting his feet firmly.

'' I really don't have the time, they could've followed you two easily..'' Hazel stated.

Dean placed his hand over Hazel's looking seriously into her eyes, there was passion, questioning inside of him….as if he wasn't quite sure whether he wanted her or not but knew the attraction felt was too strong to be completely ignored. And then he turned, concern for his brother…wondering at the situation between Sam and her. Dean turned again sharply- insubordination digging into Hazel's features.

'' Then come with us…..well get you away from here….but as soon as were safe, you better start talkin sister…..and don't even try and make a run for it..'' Dean stated.

If it had been only one Winchester she might have tried but she knew her chances against two were close to impossible…..at least that was her logic. But maybe, just maybe she just wanted to be around them a little while longer. Hazel had been alone for a long time now-and being around Sam's warm smile and Dean's sensual hands proved to be too much of a temptation to go along, so she agreed.

'' On one condition….'' Hazel looked firmly back into Dean's face, jaw set.

'' I don't think you're in any position to..''

'' Dean..'' Sam replied putting his hand on Dean's shoulder.

'' That I get to ride Winchester….'' Hazel stated with a grin, talking about her bike.

'' Wha……'' Dean looked adorable in his confusion and Hazel couldn't help the smile.

'' My bike.''

'' You named your bike after Sam..'' Dean looked even more baffled staring back over his shoulder as if he was trying to comprehend a girl naming their Harley after his baby brother.

'' No…..the gun…..it's one of my favorites…'' and then Dean laughed and what can one do when Dean Winchester laughs besides laugh with him, even Sam smiled a little.

'' What did you think she meant Dean…..I swear your mind is always in one spot.''

'' Dude, that's so untrue…..I only think about women 75 percent of the day..'' and he swaggered out, Hazel and Sam breaking into grins as he left.

'' Hasn't changed at all.'' Hazel stated between giggles.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

**Too Many Hormones **

The rain beat down on the plastic helmet which covered Hazel's head. She could hear the sound of the impala's engine behind her on the highway. Where were they going anyway, Hazel wondered. She focused on the slick surface of the road, the rain fat and burgeoning its asphalt top. The yellow lines like warning tape crossing and curving. Hazel wondered what the brothers were talking about behind her, dark and shadowed inside that black interior. She thought she might be picking up on some light banter, but that was normal. Hazel resisted the urge to listen closer because she knew it was about her. And she remembered a night like this one, raining and foggy-only years behind….why didn't the years matter?

**Eleven years earlier……………………………………**

''Sam, he's not gonna catch up…I think we lost him at the fire escape…''

'' Yeah, well you don't know Dean…he won't give up so easily, I think he might just be hiding,'' Sam gasped out pulling Hazel along behind him like a ragdoll.

'' What and waiting to jump out…..God Sam, it was just a kiss you'd think he found us screwing…as if that would have been any of his business either..''

'' Were hunters Hazel, it's what we do…..he's not gonna give up..'' Hazel knew right where Sam was headed and shrieked with laughter as the rain pelted her head and shoulders.

'' Were gonna be soaked by the time we get there,'' Sam grinned at her a wicked sparkle twinkling from his dark set eyes.

'' Your already soaked….'' he stated looked down at Hazel's blouse pointedly. She remembered her bra probably lying tucked beneath Sam's bed sheets. They'd been well on their way to second base when Dean had kicked in through the door, a look of triumph sparking in those fiery, you are going to hell Sammy, eyes of his.

The ensuing struggle had been quick, so quick Hazel had to leave behind her bra for time saving reasons and now the white ti-shirt she had grabbed was not good coverage for the thick rain that fell.

'' Well I guess you got to second base allot sooner than planned…'' Hazel answered, seeing the puckering of her nipples under the molded white shirt. At that point she got the feeling Sam couldn't get to their place fast enough, because she was suddenly being pulled along quite a bit quicker.

'' Why don't you just carry me if you are in such a hurry….'' Hazel yelped, as their bodies came together, and she was hoisted into his strong long muscled arms.

'' Good idea, '' he replied, looking at Hazel down through his soaked hair with the hungry glance of a teenage boy.

Before she knew it they were there and she was laid flat across the moss. Her chest naked and gleaming in the moonlight and Sam's chest slick all the way down to his jean button. Sam was propped up, just staring at her as if she was the only thing in the world for him. Her breath was short and hurried as she waited in anticipation for his mouth to be on hers again. Sam had been circling Hazel's nipples slowly with his tongue…. breath like feathered heat fanning the engorging nerves.

'' Hazel….'' he whispered over and over again, as if he couldn't believe she was really there with him.

Hazel remembered the stars spread out above him as the clouds were beginning to dissipate. And the way they framed his partially wet mop of waves, and the way his eyes could still reach out through the darkness to echo his intentions. It was a beautiful memory but it was too much like another memory, one that Hazel tried not to think about. The night Dean had followed her to the same spot, the night she had offered herself and been rejected.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hazel curved sharply in the rain, in reaction to the memories of Dean and that night-pushing with all her anger to shake the unwanted thoughts. She got off the bike as if she could escape the memory. The gravel crunched beneath her boots as she walked a few feet and pulled off her helmet-letting the rain drench her hair and flow down beneath the leather collar to her spine.

The Impala ground to a halt behind her and two men climbed out, one looking confused, the other looking angry. Hazel tried to ignore the angry glare leveled her way by Dean and focus instead on getting control of her wayward emotions. Breathe in through your nose, all the way down to your diaphragm, and out through your mouth. Hazel focused, commanding her body to respond, and her pulse to slow down.

'' You wanna tell me why you just about caused an accident without any red light, sweet heart,'' Dean glared coming around the side of the car looking completely in his element even as he gathered water.

'' No…'' Hazel answered folding her arms and glaring back. Dean looked too much like that night and it made Hazel want to punch him in the nose.

'' NO!.....Oh- no- she says as we stand here soaking in the rain,'' Dean declared throwing his hands up in exasperation. Sam shook his head at Dean and came forward, grabbing Hazel's elbow and speaking gently.

'' Are you okay?'' Hazel had forgotten how easy it was for Sam to make her feel better with just a look and a touch. His soft spoken manor and truly concerned visage drew out the warmth in his breath and she smiled.

'' Just a memory….'' Hazel stated, and Sam seemed to know.

'' I'd been thinking about it to…..'' God how much easier it would be to be in love with Sam and not his hot headed stubborn ass brother, Hazel thought.

Perhaps, it was time to tell Sam her true feelings for Dean…..it wasn't right leading him on. But before she could decide her course of action things suddenly became more complicated. Sam kissed her. And not just a friendly peck but the kind of kiss with the kind passion Hazel wished Dean felt towards her. She was so surprised she didn't immediately react.

'' Oh come on, don't tell me we stopped for a little tongue action…….just meet me in the car before I gag,'' Dean stated.

Hazel pushed against Sam's chest and looked up into his eyes, surprised and stricken to find how strong his feelings for her still were……She should never had done what she did with him in the library….it had just felt so good at the time.

'' Sam….maybe we shouldn't…'' a glance of complete serenity stood looking down on Hazel, a small smile and glowing eyes.

'' Don't worry Hazel….I'm not going anywhere…'' and it was then Hazel could've just kicked herself, the harder the better. It was just like eleven years ago, only now she didn't have the excuse of being adolescent-just stupid. The sooner Hazel got away from the Winchesters the better. How could she ever tell Sam she was in love with his brother when he looked at her like that?

(middle of the night)

Dean was awakened the second he heard her movement, even in the dark he could pinpoint the sounds of her heavy turning beneath the cheap wool blanket he had handed her; taking just a little satisfaction in knowing how stiff and scratchy it would be against that porcelain skin of hers. After all she had been driving him crazy all night. After they had arrived at the hotel she had insisted on a hot shower, refusing to even talk about the details of the bar incident.

And if the image of her lathering her body wasn't enough to make him need to take a walk in the rain, the fact that she persisted in arguing that she would tell him her story tomorrow and Sam siding with her, had done it. Then she'd had the nerve to call him a grouch after he'd spent an hour in the rain trying to walk off the thought of her naked body undulating beneath the spray of water. Because he was so sure she was doing more in there than just bathing. Dean remembered one other time he had come across a female doing things to her-self, the girl he had tried so hard to keep away from Sam.

He remembered the girl like it was only yesterday. She was Hazel the girl with the huge melting eyes and the smooth long hair. Dean had worked hard at hating that girl and all these years later he still wasn't sure if he had been right in trying to keep her and Sam apart, but she'd been a witch-hardly human, or at least that's what he told himself. And when he'd followed her out of the lunch room that day he'd done so to apologize and been surprised by her calling out his brother's name instead. Dean had been so aroused as he watched, that when he heard his brother's name all he could think about was her seducing Sam, Hazel with his brother.

Dahlia annoyed him the only girl that could get under his skin since Hazel had all those years ago. She poked at him like a tiny irritating needle, but to top all that off she was incredibly sexy and tonight his mind was full with dreams of half lit libraries and all the wicked possibilities. Of course, he could never tell her that, not when his brother was so taken with the girl. How could he be so attracted to someone he also wanted to strangle?

And then after he had finally gotten to sleep, she was thrashing about like a banshee and making it impossible to ignore. Sam who had the uncanny ability to only awaken if the threat were necessary lay stretched on his back and Dahlia only a dark shape across the room looked like a fish trying to jump net.

Dean put on his grouchy face and with the help of a crushed pinky toe into the nightstand-made his way through the shadows to her flopping form. In no damn way was he gonna let her ruin anymore of a good night's sleep.

Scratching his hand over his thickening night stubble Dean plopped down beside her legs on the couch, making no fuss to be polite or to go gently. Dahlia's body curved slightly upward like a cats displaying the line of her well shaped stomach and rounded breasts, Dean sighed. Perhaps, he should just go back to his own bed…a man could only take so much. But she was still asleep and half mumbling she moaned; which turned quickly into a small sob. Dean leaned in closer determined to wake her, the last thing he wanted was a weepy female; strange though she didn't seem like the weepy type.

Flipping directions and scooting halfway onto his lap…she giggled slightly, curling her fingers into the hem of his sweatpants. Dean gulped past a lump in his throat and stared toward the ceiling-it was like she knew she was seducing him even though she slept.

'' I'm not gonna beg you….I tried that once already….I'm not a girl anymore….I have to feel you….I need to taste you again…..'' her voice had gone suddenly husky and Dean was in quick need to wake her up before another part of his body responded, poking her in the head.

'' Dahlia…..'' he persisted, shaking her hard this time. And then he was staring into those aqua eyes of hers and they looked big and round and scared as hell-until they focused.

'' What the hell Dean..'' she asked untangling her fingers from his pants and sitting bolt upright.

'' You were dreaming..'' he started.

'' And?'' she asked

'' It was too loud.'' She paused, licking her lips.

'' Sorry…great dream though…maybe next time you could at least wait for me to finish…..''

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hazel had been dreaming about Dean, only this time in the dream he didn't turn her away. Hazel thought for sure it would be a nightmare it had always been a nightmare before.

God, just being around Dean had reminded her how sorely she was in need of human contact and just how much she wanted that human contact to be him. She'd even tried taking care of the problem herself-calling dibs on the shower and rushing past a Dean who himself was getting ready to take one. Hazel laughed and Dean growled- a growl which only intensified the shower fantasy.

Unfortunately, her desire had not abated with the wonderful showerhead. And after climbing out of the shower, slightly cranky on account of the only worsening ache at her center, Hazel had yelled at Dean once again telling him she was too tired to go into any details about the bar scene. Sam, sweetheart that he is came to her defense, and the resulting leer from Dean was almost satisfying. At least he was as miserable as her. Throwing Hazel the scratchy motel blanket Dean pointed out the couch and claimed if she was that sleepy than the arrangements wouldn't bother her at all.

But they did bother her and not because of the intentional scratchy- blanket- couch move, but the fact that after his painful shower…well painful for Hazel. As she sat listening to his breathing in the dark, and imagining herself wet and entangled in his arms until she'd finally nodded off into a fitful sleep.

_The Dream_

_Hazel sat close to the edge of the gurgling water, moon glowing as she clutched her shirt to her half naked form. She was still wet from the earlier thunderstorm and her hair tangled about her face and neck. Hazel knew this dream well- this was the part when the boy/ man across from her broke the silence that had only moments before been full of their panting, of her whimper. It was Hazel's whimper that had seemed to awaken Dean to the situation. And now he sat staring at her emotions like a silk screen moving clumsily through his features. She felt a sob well up within her throat, and could already see the rejection in his eyes like a metallic taste on her tongue._

_But then the dream twisted and it wasn't the young Dean who sat across from Hazel with condemnation in his eyes, but the Dean of now, the irritatingly sexy man. And she realized something in that moment. She was neither the girl, nor the name any longer, Hazel was also a woman. Hazel was a woman who had been through hell and back, the woman who was on the run for- perhaps her life, and rejection was nothing comparable. _

_Hazel let the covering of the damp shirt slide down to reveal her full breast and she stared Dean right in the eyes. She let herself become the woman who wanted the man and lowered her walls._

'' _I'm not gonna beg you know…'' Hazel stated, lowering her eyes with a half smile._

'' _I tried that once already…'' She scooted closer and curled her fingers in the fabric of his jeans; his hands were already on her shoulders, indecision crossing his brow._

'' _I'm not a girl anymore….I have to feel you…..I need to taste you again…''_

And then suddenly the ground was quaking..Hazel thought it was part of the dream then she saw his green eyes hovering over her. Hazel quickly realized the differences. This Dean looked slightly distressed and fully grouchy. Why couldn't he have at least left me to finish the dream, Hazel seethed. Heaven knew she wouldn't be getting anywhere with him in real life.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'' I wasn't gonna wait for the grand finale to be able to sleep…..it was like a Cenimax experience without the moving pictures…a little uncomfortable sweat heart..''

'' Couldn't have been that bad, Sam looks perfectly peaceful..'' Hazel replied, looking towards the tousled and deep breathing man.

'' Well Sam doesn't wake up at the drop of a hat either, in fact by the way you two were carrying on earlier he was probably there in the dream with you….''

Hazel wanted to tell Dean, it was actually him- out of spite, just to prove him wrong…..But he didn't need the details of that dream, not when he didn't even know who she really was. Hazel preferred to keep their company as innocent and non-witch related as possible. Hazel hated the fact that she still had trouble getting along with him, but the tension was their-and it didn't need an extra helping of witch to guide it to what could only be inevitable disaster.

'' Next time I will try not to dream so loudly….I was just….restless,'' poking her finger into the thin fabric of Dean's night tee, Hazel spoke into the shadows where his eyes should be.

'' Yeah, about as restless as Tracy Lords, that long shower you took should have been enough,'' Hazel could hear the scowl but was surprised he had any idea at all to what she'd been doing in the shower; which, could only mean one thing, Dean had spent time thinking about her in the shower.

'' What makes you think I was doing anything other than getting clean..'' Hazel asked darkly the situation too close to what happened all the years before. Hazel remembered the boiler room, the look on Dean's face. She didn't recognize the look then, but now…..Hazel thought back-because she'd always imagined disgust, and revolution…reflecting her own emotions onto his. But it had been desire just as Hazel felt radiating off of him now. He was searching her face and body, with a wandering eye-like he wasn't sure what part to focus in on, it made her feel exposed.

'' I know what it sounds like…besides with a detachable showerhead like that one….I can't imagine a woman resisting…..'' Dean stated, with laughter in his voice.

'' I see, you have lots of experience in voyeurism..'' She spat. Thinking about the boiler room and trying to ignore the tasty looking contour of his bottom lip.

'' I don't need to sneak around hiding…..the women usually come to me….'' Even in the shadows she could see the cocky side of his grin lift into place. Was it possible Dean's ego had swelled even larger since high school; she really wanted to bring him down a peg or two.

'' Oh I see, so I should just come to you next time I get the itch….is that it Dean….that you would have satisfied me to the point of a non-restless night's sleep. Well, who needs the sleep number bed then…'' she used pointed sarcasm, curious of his reply. He shifted uncomfortably and Hazel wondered if perhaps his pants were getting too tight. His position made it impossible to tell-but obvious of her -trying to be sneaky glance-his smirk widened.

'' Maybe you should wear more cloths next time you decide to wake me from _that _kind of dream,'' Hazel scoffed, trying to make up for her slip up in her crotch checking error. Dean however wasn't amused.

'' Maybe you should go to Sam..'' he gritted out, raising from the couch. Hazel was surprised by the jealousy she heard in his words and tone….never would she have imagined Dean wanting her like that.

But it had always been about sex for Dean, so what was the point of even wishing. Making a last minute decision out of anger Hazel uttered something regretful…..something that might cut any sexual ties she could have had with Dean.

'' Maybe I will……'' Hazel yelled at his flexing back, his retreating hotness-and almost resisted doing the most irrational thing she'd done in years…..But her emotions won and she launched that plaid covered couch pillow right into his scruffy head, growling in a very indecent display of her middle fingers dancing up and down….Then on top of that Hazel stuck out her tongue.

Dean had turned- surprise on his face only long enough to be covered by the cool and collected Dean Winchester. He had won and he knew it. Hazel had shown him exactly how much he got to her….She might as well of donned a silk- nighty and given him a lap dance, for all the points he had just gained. He now knew she was also attracted to him.

'' Alright, Winchester you get this round-but I play pretty dirty, so don't feel too proud you cocky bastard…'' and Hazel slammed into the couch his irritating chuckle only drowned out by the single pillow she crammed against her ears. And somehow-Sam still slept.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven **

**Dueling Light Sabers**

'' He practically ambushed me last night Sam….I am not telling him who I am, don't you remember what things were like in school…..''

'' He's changed Hazel, he's not as black and white as he used to be..'' Sam gestured with his hands looking eternally frustrated, as he folded them across his chest.

'' He seems pretty close to the same guy to me, perhaps maybe a little more inflated ego….''

'' Hazel please….if we don't tell him….'' Sam's eyebrows descended and Hazel got the patented puppy eyed look.

'' He will find out anyway, how can you expect it not to somehow slip….''

'' Look Sam..'' Hazel stated, grabbing his hand and leading him to the edge of the hotel bed. They sat down.

'' Last night he woke me up just because he said I was being too loud, I got mad-stupidly mad, and threw a pillow at his head…….'' Sam grinned at her enjoying the visual.

'' He must have deserved it…..he usually does…''

'' Not my point Sam.''

'' He got to me just like he always has……and now he knows he can get to me…..Just imagine if he knew who I was, how much worse it would be..'' Hazel looked down at her hands her defenses felt shattered against Sam. Hazel couldn't lie to him-but she could tell him just enough to make it not a lie.

'' Hazel, I think you should tell him, but under the circumstances I will let it go for now, I guess we won't tell him about your _talents_ either……but promise me you will at least consider telling him..'' Looking back into Sam's eyes Hazel couldn't deny him.

'' I will Sam….'' She hugged him to her tightly. It was nice to have that bond again, to feel his concern through the heat of his body, it had been so long since anyone had held her that she couldn't help but pull him tighter.

Sam ran his hand down Hazel's hair, the way he used to, only now it was slightly larger-and she remembered he was no boy anymore. She could feel his hands linger at the small of her back, not a boy anymore at all, Hazel thought. Sam pulled her closer, so close she could feel the beat of his heart and the trace of his hair tickling at her neck. Sam was trembling like he was holding in some large force and that was when Hazel realized what he was really doing and feeling.

Sam's mouth was on hers before she could draw the breath to protest, his hands warm and vital-pressed Hazel into the mattress. And then he was pulling her arms above her head. Empathy shock waves shook her body and Hazel wasn't sure if it was Sam's memory or her own-because the circumstances were similar and they'd both been there.

_Soiled light lit Sam's figure from behind. The hotel blinds had been pulled to, and they were supposed to be studying. The efforts of their science report lay not only scattered but crushed. Hazel was excited, and worried all at once as Sam took the time to remove her bra, leaving on Hazel's shirt. They were worried that Dean would come back and as a precaution had left it on. _

_Sam's hands slid down between them, pressing at the spot Hazel had only imagined before now. She whimpered and thrashed her head as he explored her cotton lined center. Sam was slightly awkward, but a bright curiosity and lust burned from his eyes. His body, slid down beneath the comforter, he was gone and then pulling apart her thighs. Sam's breath was heated as he hovered above that place that ached the most and the place that throbbed the fastest._

_Hazel moaned on impulse the pleasure and agony of his absence, the idea of what it might feel like, left her feeling frayed. So when Sam's mouth kissed the panty-line-although innocent enough- Hazel came rolling up that slope, crying his name. _

_And just as things peeked, his brother Dean came crashing through the door._

(Present)

'' Sam……we can't, we shouldn't…..'' Sam pulled away silently his skin warmed and bright.

'' Why not Hazel……..what's stopping us…were both adults now, and we care about each other….''

'' I don't know if I should…….''

'' why?''

'' Because I shouldn't..''

'' Someone else….'' he asked pulling his knees up like a shield, Hazel didn't answer, because she wasn't sure how. And that was when Dean walked in through the door, holding bags of greasy take out, with a smile, like it was Christmas.

'' Did I interrupt anything,'' he asked with a mocking light tone.

'' And yet again…..some things never change..'' Sam stated dryly- sulking into his folded arms.

'' Chinese…..?'' Dean questioned with a raise to his brow like he hadn't a care in the world.

Dean grinned; Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. Hazel left the room.

Hazel closed the bathroom door behind her seriously considering shimmying her way out the small window and away from the Winchesters. Then considered pulling a Lady Godiva, and as she climbed onto her bike, distracting and shocking the boys with her nakedness-she would smack her ass, in a quick _kiss my ass salute_ before riding away. It was a satisfyingly funny scenario but not a very realistic one.

'' What makes you think you know her so well Sammy…''

'' I just do Dean.'' Sam yelled back from outside the bathroom door.

'' One night with a girl is not _knowing _someone Sam..''

'' I'm not you Dean, I spent longer than that..''

'' So you are hiding something Sammy, I can tell……'' Hazel choose that moment to reappear and save poor Sam from the wolves, this was her lie after all.

'' We met in the library….he helped me with some research….. we spent the night together, after he screwed me against the library study table-and we continued to spend the night together-many-many-times-many-many-places, if you would like a list of all the positions, some I believe are illegal in several states……and I savored every minute of it. But alas he had to go- probably to save your dumb-ass and we ran into each other last night, as you know.'' Hazel folded her arms, tilted her chin and waited to be challenged.

'' Bullshit…..there's more to it than that, I want to know about the guy in the bar last night,'' Dean pushed.

'' The personal part is none of your business….but I will tell you as much as I know about what happened last night…….'' she glanced off to her side to see the surprise that crossed Sam's features. Hazel had now just officially declared her and Sam as lovers, after only moments before turning him down…..he was probably confused.

'' The guy in the bar is part of a group who have been hunting me now for years.'' Hazel answered crossing her legs and sitting on Sam's bed. Hazel laid her head across his shoulder and threaded her fingers with his, waiting for the barrage of questions. And poor Sam looked like he was about to get run over by a truck. Hazel supposed she would fill him in later with the whole lover's scenario. But for now he would have to get used to the idea, it might help Hazel find it easier to stay away from Dean.

Hazel wanted to reach out to Dean. Because she already held the other Winchester-fast and steady her pulse pumped and reanimated the parts of herself that felt dead. She'd never told the story, never dreamed of sharing these pieces of herself with anyone. And as she hugged tightly to Sam hoping his presence would lend her strength-and staring back into the hostile eyes of a man she'd tried so hard not to love.

A shaking unburdened in her soul like a curling vine and the acceptance of needing to tell them, branched out and took root. Screw Dean and his ability to unhinge her impure intentions, screw Dean and his ability to make her feel used just with a glance, and screw Dean for the fact she still wanted him so badly. Hazel didn't need or want his approval; her life would go on as it had since she'd changed her identity. What she was now, she would live without him…..Dean Winchester would be forgotten once again. Because he had to be, it was imperative to keeping her distance intact.

Dean tromped the room like a bull- green eyes glaring, and nostrils flared.

'' Stop the intimidation tactics…..Which don't work on me by the way and be calm, I'll show you, what I know….'' Hazel rose already lost to the comfort of Sam's warmth and dug through her bag for the tattered notebook she kept with her at all times.

Sam's eyes seemed to light up at this, and she took her place beside him, ignoring the grumbling bounce of Dean at her opposite side. Hazel leafed through the pages trying to find a good spot to start, since even she hadn't put together the whole puzzle.

'' When I ran into Sam in the library, I had been looking for a very old translation-to a very old myth. It had been scribed by a Celtic-monk sometime around the year 1800 B.C…..found in only pieces and smudged we can only guess, the whole of the legend…..but I was finally able to get it deciphered, and was handing it over for verification to see if it was authentic…..when I met with you guys in the bar,'' Hazel looked back and forth between them waiting for the inevitable question, they were passing through their eyes.

'' What about the guy..'' they both intoned.

'' Well all I really know about him is that he is part of an organization. A group who seem to be devoted to finding me for some reason and who I believe also killed my parents…'' She got up and turned away from them, after all these years the death of her parents still bothered her, still fell stiff from her tongue like it was unreal.

'' I thought they died in an auto accident,'' Sam asked coming from behind, and putting his hand over Hazel's shoulder. Her dear Sam, who could always tell when she was upset, Hazel's crusader.

'' And the myth..'' Sam asked softly.

'' Well, what I do have of it doesn't make much sense to what it would have to do with everything. Actually, it seems more like a fairy tale-but we know there is always some truth in myth, and so I can't disregard it…'' Hazel's eyes burned as she picked up her notes again, trying to ignore Dean's scrutiny.

'' Yes, here it is….'' Dean went to grab it and Hazel smacked his hand away.

'' Only I touch _this_…..'' she stated glaring back into his eyes.

'' Chick…you have some major trust issues..'' Dean grumbled.

'' And you have some major space issues……don't touch my shit and I won't touch yours,' she could hear Sam snickering in the background; perhaps, they'd had this talk as well, Hazel smiled.

_Keepers of Secret_

_Bellow the………….,their lived a peaceful sea community………On the other side…..but the water civilization had harnessed the power of water…..and conferring with…..Gods…..ancient magic……..used for good…..broke off taking some of the secretes with them……warfare. ………..traveler goes over the mountains, bring back………sealed magic away…….every generation. The Keepers of Secret…..reborn…………………_

'' That's it…'' Dean asked looking impatient.

'' How do you even know this had to do with the guys after you….'' he crossed his arms.

'' Because I do…..does it really matter….''Hazel wasn't about to tell Dean because she felt it the same way she felt her gift had always been hers.

'' Hell yes every detail matters, and I still feel like I am in the dark…..''

'' So do I Dean……please just trust me….'' Hazel laid her hand on his shoulder, feeling him jump beneath her touch…and looked into his darkened eyes.

'' I think maybe we could help you…..'' Sam stated breaking the eye contact between Hazel and Dean.

'' Oh, I don't know…..I usually do my thing alone..'' Hazel looked away trying to come up with a good verbal reason to flee this volatile situation.

'' Sam's a research junkie……and besides we have nothing better to do-than protect a damsel in distress..'' Dean grinned crookedly; he knew already what buttons to push.

'' Hey I've been working alone for a long time…'' Hazel started.

'' Did I mention we wouldn't be taking _**no**_ for an answer..'' Dean asked eyebrow raised and cocky grin in place.

'' What are you gonna do tie me to the bed?'' Hazel questioned pushing Dean hard enough in the chest that he rolled off the end of the bed, managing to land surprisingly gracefully and still grin.

'' If I have to sweat heart..'' he replied, the clicking to Sam's notebook already tapping across the room.

_Dream_

_The small thatched hut with the textured cloth was burning around her. She sat rocking in the corner-this wasn't supposed to happen. She had been born only the year or so before and was barely old enough to walk. The figures of the villagers around her, rushed and Hazel knew there was a sense of urgency, and danger and the smell of death rising like the flames that licked through the grey smoke. It was destruction it was rebirth Hazel's dream mind kept thinking. Hazel looked at her small hands, and knew this was not Hazel of whom she dreamed. But a small child pressed terrified into the corner. _

'' _We must save the traveler.'' The people around her repeated, some were crying while men in face paint cut through the crowds, heedless of neither mother nor child…..they seemed to be looking for something._

_She screamed at the viciousness of it, no matter how many times Hazel dreamed of this same scene the terror and misery of the people in the dream always seemed to invade her own, like she should be part of it in some way…like she was part of it in some way……and Hazel couldn't stop screaming._

Dean awoke to the sound of something mewling and petrified. He was out of bed and holding the shot-gun like a glinting beacon in the dark, his stance ready for action, and his eyes scanning for danger.

Looking out across the room he saw Dahlia bolt upright and terrified, and he couldn't understand what would cause anyone to look so afraid. He thought it could be nightmares but what kind of nightmares would produce that wild of a reaction?

He moved cautiously across the room afraid any sudden movements might startle her, and suddenly became uncomfortably aware of this protectiveness he felt toward the girl, stronger than any protectiveness he'd felt before, besides with Sammy. He found himself drawn to her and wrapping her in his arms he rocked her and spoke softly into her ear. She was sobbing lightly, yet still didn't seem to be as aware.

'' The fire…..the fire……the fire,'' she continued repeating as he rocked her. Then she pulled slightly away looking at him in the half-light of the room, her full lips parted but no sound came out. The water in her eyes trailed her cheeks, and Dean couldn't stop staring, couldn't feel anything but the sensation of her body, trembling against his. He wanted to kiss her quivering lips, to kiss the trail left by her tears…..he wanted to lay her back against the couch and show her nothing would ever be wrong again.

And then her eyes broke away from his they looked distantly resolute, and he heard Sam moving from where he slept. Sam took one look at their position, their proximity on the couch, and the fire that shot from his eyes said everything without him having to lay blame at all.

'' Are you okay….'' Sam asked kneeling down to better see Dahlia.

'' Just a nightmare….'' she stammered peeking up through her hair at Dean.

'' You could sleep next to me you know….'' Sam stated, holding his hand over hers.

'' I think I better…'' and she glanced back at Dean, making it seem like exactly what Sam thought was true.

'' Look Sam I didn't,'' Dean began.

'' Save it Dean….'' Sam answered with a glare, pulling Dahlia against him.

'' Un-fucking-believable….'' Dean muttered slamming into his own bed. She could have at least stood up for him….but she choose to make him seem guilty as hell….now he wished he would have just kissed the girl, then at least he would have had something to feel guilty about-according to little brother that is. And fuck if he wasn't jealous of Sam sleeping snuggled next to that warm pliant body of hers all night, but he'd never admit it…as far as he was concerned they could both go to hell. Dean punched his pillow feeling the nice cold empty spot on the bed next to him, he stretched out.

'' Sure is nice to have a whole bed to myself…'' he declared to the room in general, and was rewarded by the soft breathing of two already asleep people. Grinding his teeth Dean settled into what would prove to be a very long night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight**

**Hello Sexual Tension and Bathroom Windows**

Hazel couldn't stop thinking about the dream; which, in turn only led to thoughts of Dean, the way he'd looked at her, and the feelings she felt sliding out of him….. Like the fact that he wanted to protect her…That was a big one for her, because it indicated a possible caring on his part……and damnit she couldn't let that happen…..She couldn't let herself become lost in Dean Winchester again, it was too fuckin risky. What if she lost him to…. Because she lost everyone she loved eventually and this was just a nice stop over on her way to finding everything out…..She would have to escape….too much was at stake.

But her best bet would be in the middle of the night and Dean seemed to be too light a sleeper for that. Last night when he'd come to her after the dream, she'd been half asleep and through the child's eyes had watched him come out of the smoke like some kind of savior. When he'd brought her to his chest she couldn't help the tears of relief….Her half sleeping mind not caring that she shouldn't be in his arms….only grateful for the reprieve she found in their thick corded strength.

As she surfaced from the dream she became all too aware of his feelings, layered although they were –two of the strongest had been his wanting to protect her and his veiled intimacy to make love with her. It had frightened Hazel, the intensity with which these feelings broke free, surprising Dean as well as her.

And so when Sam had come making the uncorrected assumption that Dean was seducing her…that in some way Dean was the reason for her tears, she didn't correct-only reinforced…..And she hated herself for doing it; especially, after she'd seen the hurt in Dean's eyes. It was just too easy for Sam even after all the time that had passed to expect things to be the same they had been in high school.

So here she stood, her morning shower seeping down over her scalp and body, not even thoughts of Dean soaped up behind her, making up for the way she felt about what she had done to him. Perhaps he had been right about her all that time ago; perhaps she didn't deserve Dean Winchester.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam was speaking to her above his morning coffee, indicating articles and histories on his computer. But only half of her brain was with him. She poked meaninglessly at the yolk of her under easy egg, moved the hash-browns towards the sausage and then back over to the other side of the plate. Hazel couldn't get Dean's expression from last night out of her mind, and it was making her feel morose and irritable. The smell from the open burners ten feet away wafted in her direction and clenched her stomach in a sickly vise, she couldn't even eat.

Glancing up again she almost did hurl at the sight of Dean leaned over the counter and smiling brightly into their waitresses cleavage over looking her tip jar. He strode back towards the table rubbing his palms together and looking way too pleased with himself.

'' Are you sure you don't want a lap dance to go with that side of beacon….'' Hazel asked sarcastically. She almost felt like he was rubbing it in her face….The fact that he could have any woman-he grinned knowingly, Hazel scoffed.

'' Not this morning sweet heart….'' he answered with a wink, as Hazel resisted the urge to kick her booted heels into his shin under the table.

'' But I did get us a half off on our breakfast..'' Dean replied leaning back, coffee to his lips for a manly looking victory sip.

'' Sure you didn't get a rash as well Casanova……oh great Casanova of truck stop diners everywhere….how do you even keep count Dean….'' Hazel picked up a desert menu and pretended to glance over the selection.

'' Great idea….I could really use some pie..'' and he plucked the menu from her hand, bastard- Hazel seethed silently, a decision made with a click of her mind.

'' Well, I'll just use the little girls room..'' and Hazel was up with her bag, managing to smack Dean with it as she passed. She stopped when she heard his grunt, smiling to herself-take that with your pie, Hazel thought.

'' Oh sorry, sometimes these bags just have a mind of their own…'' and Hazel batted her eyes, sashaying her way towards the restroom. Hazel could feel the groove of Dean's eyes digging into her backside, and hoped that was the last of her backside Dean Winchester would ever see.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'' I don't see why you two can't get along Dean…..she's really very sweet, if you would just give her a chance..''

'' Yeah, bout as sweet as a hell hound..'' Dean replied.

'' Just because she turned you down last night…'' Sam began, Dean sputtered.

'' I don't want to talk about it Sam…..that is not what happened..''

''Well then what did Dean…..what always happens with you and women? ''

'' She was having a nightmare….''

'' Yeah right, that's the lamest excuse to hit on a sleeping women I've ever heard..''

'' It's the truth dude…..don't you think what you are suggesting would be kind of low even for me?'' Dean looked Sam in the eye trying to show that he meant it.

'' Well….maybe…..I'll ask her about it, meanwhile…..''

'' How long's it been..'' Dean asked glancing at the clock.

The brothers exchanged a glance, and Dean leapt from the booth.

'' Bathroom my ass..'' he stated running for the back.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hazel walked into the bathroom and knew her chance was now. She would have a hard time leaving the guys even though Dean could be infuriating but she couldn't risk getting too close to them-the heartache wasn't worth it. There was a reason she had cut all ties from others…and the brothers represented those painful severed ties. Sam with his great lumbering calmness and Dean with his passionate eyes. Great, there was one window…but although placed high- one was all Hazel needed.

Propping her hip against the cracked and peeling once white porcelain of the sink, Hazel used that leverage to climb so that her eyes were reflecting in the corroding surface of the mirror. Hazel was surprised the sink would support her weight and looked at her face in the mirror. She thought, she should be seeing a triumphant gleam in those aqua contact lenses or a hopeful smile on her pinkened lips……but she looked strangely sad.

Hazel thought about Sam with his warm grin and gleaming eyes and about Dean and the unfulfilled promises, that were buried but rising to even his dismay. And then she thought about how much of a devastation staying could turn into. So Hazel turned away from the mirror, to boost herself though the waiting window.

Unfortunately, about halfway through Hazel's careful measuring skill went bust and she hung mid air, ass on the inside and torso close to freedom. Then in her frustration she heard the sound of a door being kicked in followed by a throat being cleared and she knew exactly who stood behind her-with a very interesting view.

'' Just getting some air,'' Hazel lied knowing even as she said it how weak the excuse was.

'' I should just leave you up their….you are proving to be more trouble than you're worth….you're lucky I have a heart of gold sweet heart…''

'' Oh sure, and that's what the lust I saw in your eyes was about last night right….that heart of gold…..more like a hard-on of gold….'' Hazel scoffed and yelped as she felt his fingers seize her thighs to pull her down.

She could feel the slow rolling simmer of his heat and knew he couldn't deny what she said.

'' What can I say….I am a man sweet heart,'' Dean returned his hands sliding down Hazel's shoulders to her arms.

Hazel gulped back a sob that was welling behind her eyes. Why couldn't she just get away from this man. Hazel didn't want these feelings that even now turned inside her like some oncoming storm. It was foreboding, the future could only be bleak when you felt this way about a Winchester; especially the one with whom Hazel could never imagine tied down. He was a traveler, his idea of romance done in nights…at the very most a stray weekend or two. Both of them for that matter, had ever stayed in one place long enough to put down roots. The white picket fence was not her life.

'' Please just let me go..'' Hazel whispered desperate as she felt the waves of his arousal, and the unrelenting waves of her own. Everything that was Dean Winchester mixing inside of her, the smell and his definite male energy…clinging like lost memories- terrifying yet comfortable. In a way only Dean could be. He was a good man, he'd protected so many people, for so long, and he'd never received anything in return. Anything, that is accept more scars, hidden and slashed deep.

Dean slid Hazel through the opening gently, more gently than Hazel would have expected from a man with trigger calluses on his hands, and he turned her to face him. His emotions filling her with doubt. Dean was angry…very angry, but also concerned…and that scared Hazel the most.

'' I can't, you are in danger lady, and I can't let something happen to you…'' he looked at her and smiled, the smile only lasting long enough to take in her obvious discomfort.

'' I've always been alone….mostly anyway….I swear I'll be fine..'' Hazel peeled at her fingernails. She couldn't stand the thought of him seeing the vulnerability in her eyes just then. But she couldn't escape it that easily. Dean tilted her face up and smiled.

'' Am I really that terrible to be around….'' he asked lightly…but the undertones in that voice were sad. It was like he'd spent his life alone…..and would always feel that way.

How could Hazel leave when he was looking at her as if she were already gone….when the emotions inside him boiled and churned. And Hazel realized how afraid to be left completely alone Dean really was. In fact he'd convinced himself of that very thing years ago when Sam went off to Standford and then his father disappeared.

But it went deeper than that….back to his mom…back to his dad taking off for periods of time and Dean not sure if he would come back; no matter, the faith he put into it..Subconsciously he'd known his father was only human. Hazel wanted to say something to reach out to him and help ease some of the burden of those emotional scares. And just as she was gathering her courage to do just that, Sam came in through the door.

Whisking Hazel away from what could have been a dangerous mistake. Because it would only have bound them more tightly together….And Dean was a man not to be bound.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'' Why did you tell Dean we had been lovers..'' Sam asked from the other side of the shower curtain startling Hazel out of her thoughts. She hadn't even heard the door open she'd been so involved in her fantasy…A fantasy where she could live a normal life with Dean.

'' Sam you shouldn't be in here..'' Hazel stated, glad the curtain hid her nudity and reddened expression. She was flushed from her venture into fantasy land and was hopeful Sam couldn't read the arousal in her half lidded eyes.

'' Why not Hazel….we are lovers right..'' she could hear some scorn edged in Sam's voice and couldn't blame him, if he knew everything the scorn would be much darker and deeper. Sam loved her as much as he always had.

'' I thought it would be easier..'' Hazel began.

'' For who…….you or Dean..'' Hazel gasped dropping the sponge into the bubbling water. Sam knew her feelings for Dean, and she'd been trying so hard to hide them.

'' You didn't think I've known…..'' he said not boasting like another man might….still her ever faithful Sam.

'' How long have you known…..'' Hazel asked quietly worried that she was hurting Sam yet again.

'' I've been suspicious since the day I walked in on you two……the day I punched Dean..But I was young and I talked my way around it..''

'' How could you have known…..I didn't even know?''

'' If you had really hated Dean, what he thought wouldn't have mattered so much..'' he stated, as if the matter of fact statement should have occurred to Hazel long ago. But it had a voice whispered in her head…._you've always known. _

'' It took me a while to figure it out myself……I'm sorry Sam,'' Hazel peeked around the edges of the curtain. She wanted to judge his reaction with her own eyes, she went on.

'' I should have told you, but it didn't seem to matter…..Dean hates me…. has always hated me..or Hazel for that matter…'' she stared into his eyes, turbulent eyes with emotions she couldn't quiet name.

'' Hazel..'' Sam sighed grabbing her face in his curling fingers and smiling sadly.

'' Deans never hated you. He just didn't understand what you are, if he hated you think he'd even be taking time to help you?'' Sam kissed Hazel on the forehead.

'' But it's not Hazel Sam….it's Dahlia Dean's protecting…….I haven't been Hazel in years…..I've changed.'' Her eyes darkened at this statement, as the sad smile on Sam's face melted into something else.

'' And so has Dean, you two are so stubborn……If I was going to give away the women I loved to anyone….it would be Dean..'' This statement surprised Hazel. So Sam knew his brother..he knew him well enough to know about the one nighters and the unbridled lust Dean acted upon. Why would he want that for her, Hazel wondered. She must be missing something.

'' It's not that easy…..I don't want him to know who I am….'' Hazel trailed off, intent on keeping stray thoughts of Dean at bay.

'' Besides what exactly do you think he thinks were doing in here….'' Hazel waggled her eyebrows trying to change the dynamic of the conversation to a less serious note. Sam's eyes widened and then he got a devilish glint in his eyes.

'' Well since he thinks were lovers….might as well play it out huh?'' and before Hazel could comprehend that lewd statement; Sam had leaned into the bath, past the curtained barricade, and rested his arms along her naked and wet rib-cage. His large hands moving over her stomach and side, then Sam captured his mouth in hers. Hazel in her shock would have slid into the water if it hadn't been for his supporting hand, and she gasped as he pulled away. Yes, Sam was all man now and she should be mad. But Hazel could never hold a grudge against the youngest Winchester.

'' Since you insist Dahlia, might as well play the part……not sure I plan on making this any easier for you….or Dean for that matter……….Dahlia you will be.''

And Sam walked out. Not quite sure how Hazel had gotten herself into this mess, she pondered…..It seemed perhaps Hazel really was dead now, but why did Hazel feel like she should be mourning instead of celebrating for getting her way?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**Mc Creepy Bartender**

'' What do you think you are doing?'' Dean asked stopping the progress with his hands as Hazel's coat swung upwards. She glared. The pea green shag carpet made a nice backdrop for Dean's pressing intensity; Hazel could see it reflected in his gleaming eyes. It was just the kind of carpet your big toe got stuck in before you made a header for the floor-just like Dean's eyes, too easy to become entangled inside. The mixture of fading sunlight and Dean's green orbs had been driving Hazel crazy all evening….And now with the approaching night it felt too intimate, and her nerves too new to pretend his heated glances didn't affect her..Especially when two beds were less than five feet away, Hazel considered.

'' I need to go out,'' Hazel replied shrugging away his hands. But she could still feel the lines his fingers had traced on her arms. Dean's touch was always distressingly gentle.

'' Why..'' he questioned, suspicion in his voice. Dean came around beside Hazel, when she had turned to escape those visceral eyes, and tried to catch hers.

'' Because I need a drink…..I'm used to a quieter atmosphere, and I need to sort through things….'' Hazel turned away again and continued. Not wanting to explain why the atmosphere wasn't quiet, Hazel had been trying to ignore his heated thoughts all afternoon. Thoughts she was trying hard to ignore.

All the different positions he'd had in mind as he thought of her, were defiantly inventive and also erotic. The blaring imagery had started to wrangle her nerves around number thirty-two; which included a pop cycle and small pointed drink mixers….Even MacGyver would have been jealous of Dean's innovations.

''I saw a bar down the road, walking distance and everything..'' Hazel stated this quietly trying not to let her anger, or pained thoughts reverberate in her words…..Hazel kind of felt like a part of herself had died, and funny enough she thought she had effectively killed that part long ago. It was a loss of what felt like a dear friend and trying to deny her ever deepening attraction to Dean had her mind turning cartwheels, as she tried to stuff all the pieces into a neat package.

Sam's declaration to her in the bathroom, like he was refuting Hazel's existence, should have been what Hazel had wanted. After all, it was her who had insisted she didn't exist anymore……It was strange how much emotion and attachment we put into just a name. Hazel thought about how nothing seemed to stand weight until said out loud; before then objects were described in such impersonal terms, such as _it _or _he…._only after the naming did identity attach itself.

And now the individuality of Hazel- could that part of her be gone forever? It felt as if the last residue of Hazel had been whipped clean. And now she needed to morn for her with a very strong drink. The whole situation made Hazel realize her reluctance but she didn't want to deal with it…..just slide around in it for a while.

'' Not alone sister…..last time I had to pull you back through an open window…..no plans on repeating that again..'' Dean stated looking at her strangely.

In his line of work reading people came second nature, even if those people were practiced in deception. It made Hazel uneasy that he might see what she was trying so hard to keep hidden. Because her mourning felt private. But there would be no getting around leaving him behind this time, and besides… perhaps Hazel didn't want to be completely alone tonight, she wasn't about to tell Dean that though.

'' Fine just make yourself scarce…..I would like to at least feel alone….'' Dean looked surprised at her lack of argument.

Sam was out gathering info; on the case Hazel should feel more interested in; after all, it was her case. He'd left without saying a word after the bath tub bomb shell. It had been strangely attractive to have Sam take the upper hand in that way and disturbing in a way that realizing your best friend could also be great sex always is.

So Dean was left to follow her out silently. He kept a quiet pace a few steps behind, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets. But still the distance felt charged with words neither one would speak the attraction thick like polarized magnets…..each in their own sphere and afraid to enter the others.

Hazel's own black leather jacket, jingled and shone in the shinning rain slicked street lights…huge against the low topped jeans and the clomp of her boots. Hazel looked up at the moon. It was something she did often as if the glowing surface held all the answers, and tonight it was full. The sky was a cloudless and sparkling reflection of her thoughts, like always it's vastness a comfort. Why something so huge it's unimaginable- should be a comfort- Hazel didn't know but it always had been.

'' I love full moons..'' Hazel stated, speaking mostly to herself but not surprised to hear Dean answer.

'' Good for hunting, the lighting helps…. one of my favorite shape shifters change with its cycle..'' Dean spoke evenly like he was trying to meet her morose mood with one of his own…But you could still hear the laughing in his tone. Leave it to Dean to turn from romanticism to lycanthropes.

'' Werewolves,'' Hazel questioned, not able to stop herself from turning to look at Dean in the soft moons light. But he was closer than she'd anticipated and Hazel had to look up to see the outline of his face.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget what this man did for a living, until he did something like sneak up from behind. Dean was a trained hunter, he'd seen and done things in this life most people would cringe from-remembering this and the masculine lines of his body eclipsing the moons light in front of her….Hazel held her breath. She'd been seeing him allot lately in the half-light, and it was such an intimate light, that she couldn't help her shutter.

'' Yeah, not exactly Michael Jackson in rubber……funny how human they actually look..If it weren't for the big pointed claws and teeth….you could almost believe it was grandmother..'' Dean chuckled and Hazel couldn't help her answering grin.

She turned away from the short connection their eye contact had made; just that brief spark had been more than enough to feel his emotions. It was like a current passing from his eyes to hers. And the warmth washed over her. Still Hazel couldn't allow herself to overindulge in it, it could become addicting….Hazel thought with a giggle.

'' Must be exciting..'' she said sighing, wishing she could trade a life of running for a life of fighting.

'' Sure..'' Dean said, coming up and around her side with a half grin.

''But it's not all romance and candle sticks,'' he hooked his arm with hers, and surprising herself Hazel didn't pull away, it felt too good.

'' Just cause I am a romantic doesn't mean I believe in romance and candlesticks..'' Hazel replied her eyes skimming his face.

'' Too bad, cause it does exist..'' Dean stated. The idea of Dean being a romantic made Hazel want to laugh.

'' Werewolves I can believe in…'' she said hugging his arm slightly closer.

'' But not romance……'' Dean asked.

'' You need faith for that……or proof anyway……Guess I have neither,'' Hazel laughed out, and looked again at the fullness of the moon. Dean was quiet for a while; Hazel supposed it was hard to know how to respond to a comment like that.

'' And being with someone…'' he suddenly questioned adding,

'' Isn't that romance..?''His eyebrows scrunched together as if he truly didn't know the difference.

'' You mean screwing..?'' Hazel asked tilting her head to get a better read on his darkened eyes.

'' No, I mean more than that..''

'' Like what….throwing their cheerleader skirt up over their head, or bending them over so you can't even look into their eyes…Perhaps kissing them and then rejecting them…'' Hazel's voice had risen as she thought about the past, and then looked at Dean who seemed taken slightly back.

'' Sorry……just personal stuff I guess..'' Hazel replied hurrying forward towards the door of the bar, not wanting to explain that little outburst.

The obscurity was a relief; Hazel had spent so long without anyone that now having support felt more like a handicap. She was raw…like a ball of nerves where the slightest disturbance broke her down. Already, she felt dependent upon the Winchesters, and that disturbed her as much as the loss of her name. Hazel inhaled the sweet smell of cigarette and pipe tobacco…….she'd quit a few years back but if ever there was a time to want a smoke, Hazel was standing strait in the middle of it.

'' Double- Jack- on the rocks…'' Hazel replied, to the man behind the bar, and couldn't help the path her eyes took over his leather crested form.

His hair was long and wavy left free to trail his shoulders. He was dark haired, his golden eyes lashed and pretty. But the prettiness stopped there, he was too male to be considered pretty as tall as Sam but thicker and filled out. He looked like a warrior Viking or an avenging Scotsman, or perhaps a gypsy….Heathcliff in all his stoic beauty. Hazel almost forgot herself in the thick energy that surrounded them, it felt like a web of lust was being spun around her…and she couldn't help her delighted sigh.

And then someone was clearing his throat and sidling up next to her, she knew exactly who it was. Hazel turned in agitation, bothered Dean would interrupt her dream hazed moment…. After all, it's not like she was kissing the guy. The waves of jealousy and challenge practically rolled from Dean's skin, like a fine mist…he was obviously sizing up the other man-using his finest intimidation face.

'' I'll take a beer Danzing……Better make that a pitcher….I've got this little one to watch after all night….and she seems to have the wandering eye…….guess she'd forgotten bout my brother…..I'm sure if I hadn't been here she would have hopped the bar by now…..,'' Dean smiled only a trace of threat left in his expression. Hazel's sputtering objections probably had something to do with the smile. Then the bartender answered in a smooth but deep voice, slow and almost lazy in its seductiveness, it floated the way an echo travels through water making Hazel feel warm and tingly.

'' You remind me of someone, someone I knew…..long ago,'' the bartender replied accent thick with something Hazel couldn't place.

He had completely ignored Dean except to slide him the beer, and now was filling Hazel's glass; liquid amber covering the ice yet his eyes never left hers. Hazel felt a strange rush in her belly, thoughts and an emotion moving so quick it was like a vacuum, sucking any identifiable pieces inside the center. And just like that it was gone…leaving only a bitter after taste. Hazel felt a dull thumping of pain. Something about the man didn't sit right…..and she would discuss it with Dean as soon as they sat down.

'' I don't think so..'' Hazel replied to the man, pulling Dean towards the darkest corner she could find, away from the bartenders warming breath.

'' Does that guy seem more than just dime store creepy to you,'' Dean asked as soon as they were seated.

'' Yes…..I didn't want to say anything in front of him, but after my initial attraction….I felt….''

'' I knew you were scoping him out; you were looking at him like the last Twinkie on a deserted island. You should be looking at Sam like that,'' Dean took a swig the wetness of the beer staining his lips and making Hazel wish she liked beer….Well she might give it a try, if Dean would let it drip from his lips.

Hazel shook her head…she had to stop these stray thoughts….It was strange but ever since they'd walked in she'd felt abnormally aroused. Not that Dean didn't make her feel hot at times but this was beyond hormones. This had Hazel wishing Dean would pull her across the table and into his lap. Hazel utilized a forceful mental shove-feelings that strong could wear a girl down after a while.

'' Of course I look at Sam like that….I just don't do it around you..'' she bit out trading hormones for agitation.

'' Whatever……. back to the creepy guy……'' Dean replied thankfully holding the lecture for another time.

'' I think I might of known him..''Hazel replied, trying to overcome the urge to look back his way.

'' Known him?''

'' I had this feeling…..''

'' Well call out the trumpets……she had a feeling….'' Dean snickered.

Hazel crossed her arms her chin tilting up as she considered how to explain this without going into her powers. She refused to let Dean in on that one; he could be too stubborn to take that chance. She looked at him evenly across the table, scrunching her face in agitation.

'' Fine call it a gut, a hunch….whatever you like…..but he felt strange..'' Hazel responded.

'' Okay, I'll bite….strange like what?'' Dean took another swig the clunk of the bottle on the table felt more like a gavel in a courtroom…..and Dean was the Judge. Hazel swallowed her agitation and went on.

'' Like he was part of something I should remember…..But before I could- it all disappeared…..like some cosmic toilet flush….'' she looked back into his steady gaze, waiting to be pummeled with doubts.

'' Do you think he has something to do with the guys after you..?'' Dean responded, surprising Hazel and leaning in closer.

'' I don't know….but he has something to do with something..'' Dean tilted his head looking at her like he was trying to figure a puzzle.

'' I still think you are hiding something….And if I don't know all the info than how do you expect to be protected, what if shit hits the fan and I'm left there with my dick in my hand wondering what the hell just happened…….I don't like it Dahlia..'' Dean's gaze tore into hers. Keeping this secret with him might be harder than she'd thought.

'' Anything else isn't important…..…'' he stated flatly as if they were discussing the weather.

'' Does Sam know….'' her slight hesitation gave Dean his answer.

'' Well it makes me feel better that one of us does…… I don't understand why you trust him so much….'' Dean stopped mid sentence looking up at Hazel with realization on his face.

'' It had to have been longer than a couple weeks…. you and sasquatch I mean..'' he sighed and looked upward at her. Hazel could feel that he was bothered by not knowing….like she was rejecting him in some way.

'' It's really not that important….'' Hazel stated closing her hand over his arm; a memory jolt kicked through her brain….

'' _I promised Sammy, I promised dad I wouldn't tell….''_

'' _So what am I supposed to go dark side or something….''_

The memory didn't make much sense out of context and it was only a year and a half or so old……but Hazel jolted back from the intensity of their emotions. She wanted to ask Dean what Sam going dark side meant but couldn't without revealing too much.

Dean did seem to recognize something wasn't right. Sam had told Hazel once that her eyes went cloudy and unfocused whenever she had one of her spells. And so who knows what Dean had just seen. Making an obvious effort to ignore his questions he acted like he was placated for the time being. But Hazel was sure it would come up later on.

'' We'll keep an eye on freaky bartender….we've got all night right?'' And Dean turned to look back towards the bar, his mouth falling open.

Hazel followed his line of sight and saw the bartender was gone, in his place a woman stood..looking quite comfy like she'd been there all night. Hazel marched to the front ignoring Dean's warning gaze, and keeping her hands on the hilts to her daggers…She wasn't taking any chances.

'' Excuse me..'' Hazel stated, standing close enough to speak or strike but far enough to retreat if she needed to.

'' Yes,'' the lady asked looking politely up.

'' What happened to the other bartender….I wanted to leave him a tip.'' Hazel questioned, looking surprised and alarmed, as if she was the crazy person when the bartender answered.

'' I've been the only one here all night.'' This bit of info shocked Hazel into silence.

She walked back to the table the look of astonishment matching Dean's telling her he must have been listening, in the back ground.

'' Should we go after him,'' Hazel questioned, sitting down and looking across at Dean.

'' Wouldn't do any good..'' he replied, like she could be dismissed that easily.

'' Why not?''Hazel asked already her energy was humming for a fight.

'' Because he obviously isn't human…….And you don't jump into the supernatural without knowing what you are dealing with first. Besides, I left my magic Dorothy shoes back at the room…..we can't trail what we can't find…..and there's no way I'd let you come,'' Dean cocked a brow, challenge thick with that one gesture.

'' Of course I'd come..'' Hazel replied….she could be stubborn too. And perhaps he'd met his match.

'' I'd carry you back to the room and tie you up before I let you come..'' Hazel thought about asking if that was a promise. Her cheeks pinkening at the idea.

'' I'm perfectly capable of defending myself…'' She stated, crossing her arms and glaring at Dean.

'' I'm sure that you are, but not on my watch Dahlia….'' Hazel should have been flattered that he cared enough to protect her, but she couldn't admit it to herself.

'' That's pretty damn archaic of you…..I don't need protection Dean….help all you want….but at the end the day… This is my problem…my issue….not yours,'' Hazel reiterated sourly.

'' Not anymore sweet heart..'' Dean stated jaw hardened. And she felt in him, it would do her no good to argue.

'' Your head is as hard as calcified dinosaur poop…..'' Hazel stated, in irritation.

'' So I've been told…. But never that colorfully..'' Dean replied with a grin.

And Hazel considered lobbing something at him. But she had nothing that wouldn't do too much damage….. And the thought must have shown in her eyes because Dean laughed harder.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'' I've been looking up ancient civilizations…trying to find the origin for our mystery text, and I've narrowed it down to the Anatolia area- modern day Turkey and from the best calculated time frame, since it was scribed sometime in the 1700's BC era, would put it around the time of the Hittites who moved in from areas west of the Black Sea and from the Steppes…… they were mostly Indo-Europeans. But I haven't been able to pinpoint the exact location, because it's a lot of land to cover,'' Sam's voice sounded cracked over the phone the connection buzzing in and out, and it didn't help that Dean was staring impatiently back at Hazel from across the table.

'' Suppose it's a start, we had a weird run in of our own down at the bar….'' Hazel started.

'' You guys are at the bar,'' Sam questioned a hint of suspicion in his voice, as if he knew her more intimate thoughts. Thoughts of Dean, she'd tried so hard to escape.

'' I needed a drink..Don't worry it's not like we're down here screwing Honey-poo'' Hazel sighed. A headache suddenly seemed to be forming right above her temporal lobes…..a stress headache. She needed another drink.

Hazel had added the nickname to play into the whole boyfriend thing but also because she was feeling a little cantankerous. Dean perked up across the table from her…all it took were the words screwing and Dean was all ears. Hazel suddenly felt bad for Sam, there he was working on her problem…and she was torturing him with cutsy nicknames-how horrible was that?

'' But thank you Sam…..my head just didn't feel in the game today….. But it should have been..'' Hazel stated softly. She could feel Sam relax slightly at her words. She was grateful for him she just needed him to know it.

'' Dahlia,'' Hazel cringed at the name, it sounded wrong coming from Sam's mouth. And she wanted to shout to him, to convince him she'd been lying…in denial….she was still Hazel. But she couldn't. Hazel felt the tears gathering for a rebellion, and was trying hard to hold them off.

'' Yeah…'' she responded the tightening in her throat choking her words. Sam exhaled.

'' Nothing…..I'm finishing up here and I'll see you back at the room,'' and he hung up. Hazel listened to the dead silence for a moment; she knew Sam could hear in her voice that something was wrong.

But Sam had always been one of the most stubborn people she knew, and for the first time Sam had declined to offer comfort….Or more appropriately he had refused to offer Dahlia comfort. Hazel hardened her outward shell a little, snapping her phone closed. It was time to stop mourning Hazel and embrace Dahlia once again, fuck one drink, Hazel would get plastered.

'' Waitress, I'll take another Jack, hold the ice this time…. It just takes up room in the glass,'' Dean looked at Hazel like she was possessed; he must have picked up on her crazed feeling vibe.

'' In fact, might want to just bring the bottle..'' Hazel pondered aloud and smiled waving a fifty for compensation. She felt Dean's fingers wrap the waving wrist and looked back at him with challenge in her eyes. Damn him if he thought he was going to stop her.

'' What the hell you planning on doing…?''Dean practically snarled at her.

'' Getting drunk of course..''she answered battening her lashes. That ought to shut him up, she thought, but it didn't.

''Why?''he questioned.

'' Because I fuckin deserve it '' Hazel answered, as the bottle arrived.

'' More like a Juliet moment…'' he replied. Referring to Shakespeare did not impress Hazel; she knew Dean was smart, she just wondered why he tried so hard to hide it.

'' Naw, high tolerance…….besides I'm not drinking alone.'' Hazel stated motioning for two tumblers.

'' Sweet heart you couldn't keep up….I drink on a regular basis.'' Dean lowered his gaze reflecting Hazel's challenge with his own heavy stare. Her stomach fluttered……this was probably a terrible idea-but she couldn't back down now…not with Dean looking at her like he thought she was bluffing.

'' Pucker-up then Dean…..and be prepared to kiss my ass, I'll leave you eating dirt….''

'' Oh well see….but let's make it more interesting..'' Dean looked at Hazel moving in close enough that she could smell the beer, and wrapping his hand around hers; he paused dramatically before going on.

Just the feel of his fingers on her skin made her visualize lazy heat promised caresses Hazel's nipples tingled beneath her black tank---She could only imagine what he would use to make things more interesting. Hazel blushed and waited for his reply, she would not back down.

'' I get one question answered truthfully by you….if I win, and you can have one if you win,'' he smiled.

Hazel thought of earlier, he now knew she was hiding something-what if he asked about that. What if Dean won? The idea was terrifying to imagine….What kind of question would he ask? She had the feeling she wouldn't like it, be comfortable with it…or even able to lie about it. Because Dean knew a lie when he heard one, he'd wheedled info out of people for a living for Christ's Sake.

'' Any question..'' Hazel asked narrowing her eyes.

'' Anything..''

'' That could be dangerous…'' Hazel replied refusing to lower her gaze, let Dean see that she was no coward, he'd get what he asked for and then some.

'' I only play for high stakes sweet heart.'' Hazel smiled at him, noting the adorable light dusting of freckles left over from childhood on his nose. She refused to follow that line of thought and cut it off quickly.

'' Somehow I already knew that about you Dean,'' and Hazel turned over their glasses, pouring a generous dollop into each.

'' Cheers,'' she sang out in salute to the challenge, and bitter thoughts would become no more; at least not inside this whisky bottle.

Their glasses clinked and they both downed their drink in a of couple gulps, staring each other down like it was high noon and the man at the bar was forgotten-at least for the time being.


	10. Chapter 10

**Yes another chapter…okay been awhile-been busy doing research and writing for my new job…and some crazy emotional struggles…..why does it seem that artists wrestle so much with angst, it's been so long living with it now…I think I would be uncomfortable without emotional duress…..ah well, I would hate to not feel…how boring that would be..lol. Anyway, missed you all and hope you enjoy this next part..some nice drunkenness some angsty goodness….and even some more hints at the big plot….but don't think you have it all figured out---allot of research is going into this and that means crazy twists and lots of detail. Please review---Love ya, LacAnn**

**Chapter Ten**

**Table Dancing and Mc Creepy Bartender Dreams **

The bar around Hazel had taken on an unreal and fuzzy quality, stirring at the edges with a soft and dazed vagueness. Hazel was spinning round when she came back to herself and remembered she was dancing, remembered that it wasn't just the booze that made the room sway. And that she was being supported by a leather clad shoulder. Over the jukebox played _Ready for Love _by Bad Company, the perfect song to describe the state of her whisky pickled mind. And she was singing along softly without even meaning to. But none of that mattered right now, Hazel felt too peaceful and relaxed in Dean's arms, too-in the moment to think carefully.

_Walkin down this rocky road wondering where my life is leading-rolling on to the bitter end…finding out along the way what it takes to keep love living-you should know how it feels my friend..oh I want you to stay, oh-I want you today….I'm ready for love…….oh- baby I'm ready for love….._

Hazel's voice faded off as she realized the significance of the lyrics, the word love bringing her up short. And the fact she was singing this leaning over Dean's shoulder, suddenly seemed like a huge no-no. So Hazel pulled herself up squinting into Dean's face and smiled.

'' Have I won the duel yet?'' Hazel asked laughing.

Dean seemed surprisingly steady, hadn't he been drinking also?…. And she didn't want him to know how drunk she really was…. so when the hell had they started dancing? But Hazel was past the point of hopeless return; it was hard enough to keep her focus let alone act sober. So, she gave in to the Whisky feeling as if she were one of the bubbles herself floating in the amber liquid.

The bar around them had gone from hustling to quiet and Hazel wondered how long it had been that way. It was strange to feel the calm of the after party, like stale beer-most of the vitality, except the man Hazel held onto, had burned out. And the place was a shell of the former night.

'' Where did everyone go?'' Hazel asked a little too wide eyed as she tried to feign sobriety. Dean chuckled genuinely; a pleasant noise that sounded like it came from deep in his throat. Hazel could feel it vibrating out through his chest, and it wasn't an unpleasant feeling.

'' It's past their bedtime Dahlia, and I think it may be past yours as well…'' hearing that name on Dean's lips was nice, but not as much as hearing Hazel would have been- so dejection scorched her words.

'' Why is it _you_…Dean Winchester…are the one holding _me_ up…'' Hazel was trying to imply his cheating in some way, her brow quirked in what she hoped was a haughty angle. It might have been awhile since her last drink but she must have tested her limits. Hazel had thought for sure she would win this one.

'' Just lucky I guess……'' he drawled, peering down at her with a wicked grin.

'' Bullshit….''

'' What I meant is…..just lucky you broke the bottle during that lunge you took off the table-to your credit it was a very graceful….'' Dean finished.

'' Lunge, why the hell would I do that….'' Hazel rolled her fists into balls and tried to put them on her hips, only to be rewarded by a quickly approaching floor, luckily, Dean got there before the floor did. Yet, still Hazel couldn't seem to remember how she had come to be resting half on the floor and half in Dean's lap. Too drunk to feel foolish Hazel reached out her index finger just to make sure Dean really was there. And found his lips just as smooth as she thought they might be-at the end of her finger. Hazel giggled.

'' I don't think I lunged off of anything……..'' Hazel stubbornly insisted.

'' I told you the table wouldn't hold..'' Dean interrupted.

'' You were probably egging me on…..you've always egged me on…'' Dean seemed to not notice the connotation behind this statement, and instead said sarcastically.

'' Right now dropping you from the table doesn't seem like a bad idea..'' he said this with a rueful grin.

'' Why would I climb up there anyway Winchester…'' Hazel questioned plinking at his bottom lip as if sound might come off it like a banjo string.

'' You said something about a dance……and you insisted.'' Dean answered. 

That's when it hit her…. He was telling the truth. Hazel could never seem to stop herself from feeling the overwhelming compulsion to dance when she had enough to drink…..And so what he said was _very_ in character for her. Hazel frowned; a little disappointed he had won the argument but not willing to concede the point.

Thinking about it Hazel hoped she had lunged off the table before she danced but somehow doubted it. Dancing was a very intimate act for her and the idea of Dean watching her dance made Hazel's stomach butterfly in embarrassment. And then her mind was off again, to the closeness of Dean's body in proximity to hers and the fall of his sweet whisky tinged breathe floating just out of reach.

Suddenly Dean's face was inches away, and she wondered if he was going to kiss her. His eyes seemed to study Hazel intently…. So slurring slightly she asked him. In the way the drunk and truly naive can without reserve.

'' You gonna kiss me or just look?'' This question seemed to startle Dean.

'' I'm not….. You are Sammy's girl after all…'' Hazel giggled because it was ridiculous-the whole situation…..And also because it was either laugh or cry. It was impossible to not acknowledge the way Hazel felt about him with all the whisky pumping through her blood, her walls were completely down. She needed someone holding her and touching her, and Dean was their….he was always there.

'' Then perhaps I should get back to him'' Hazel sighed, knowing she shouldn't it would be unfair to Sam but wanting to screw at least one Winchester. Whisky always made her horney and she should have known better than to indulge.

'' You're eyes……..'' Dean suddenly questioned.

'' What about my eyes….do I get a cheesy pick up line now?'' Hazel pushed into Dean's chest bringing them closer, almost nose to nose.

She was trying to get up-but couldn't help arching a little. It was terrible of her but being drunk had reduced her to pure ego driven urges…..and she wanted to feel his chest against her swollen breasts and nipples. Dean however just kept looking into Hazel's eyes as if studying a foreign language. What a shitty reaction, Hazel wished he would lose his composer for once; she wished she could unravel him the way he did her. Hazel's body responded instantly, and her breath hissed out between her teeth. Realizing the urgency she felt, Hazel had to pull herself back from taking Dean's lips, from showing him just how much she wanted him.

'' Ones blue and the other is brown..'' What was he talking about hazel wondered in a fuzz of confusion.

'' Huh…?'' she wondered aloud.

'' What are you taking about Dean?''

'' Your eyes….'' And it suddenly clicked….her contact lens.

'' Oh,'' Hazel scattered quickly, searching the floor for the aqua shield. But how the hell was she going to find it on the poorly lit floor.

'' Why are you wearing contacts?'' Dean asked from behind me her.

'' It's part of my disguise….'' Hazel answered thinking he would drop the subject…But of course he wanted the details. The ever vigilant Dean Winchester wanted the whole story.

'' What disguise……you look like a regular girl to me?''

'' To keep the enemy guessing, helped for a while…..not so much anymore; perhaps, I should shift it up again ….The rest is mainly dyed hair….had a little plastic surgery done, nothing huge….'' Hazel trailed off hoping he wouldn't want any more details. The face Hazel now wore was a mask in so many ways.

'' And is Dahlia even you real name….'' Hazel gasped, he was coming too close to the truth, and his confirmation look into her eyes following the gasp was showing in his smirk.

'' I thought as much…..so then….what part of you is real,'' his hand had become slightly entangled in Hazel's hair, gently pulling her closer. And then his fingers slid down to graze her lips with his thumb.

'' These….are they real..'' His voice was suddenly husky and like gravel, barely a whisper. She wanted to run.

'' Dean…'' Hazel said on a breathy sigh, trying to ignore the rising tide of her feelings, he was too close, too close to getting everything he questioned answered.

Hazel was scared; frightened it could be that easy for him to strain out her self control. A touch and a question….She needed to reign back in her impulses, to take back her power…or she would lose it all.

'' It doesn't matter…'' Hazel replied. As Dean's thumb gently traced her bottom lip, from the turned down corner to the swell above her chin. She felt misplaced beneath his steady gaze.

Her eyes had started to water, the emotions ready to overflow-to escape and she was afraid once they did she wouldn't be able to stop the flow. Hazel wouldn't be able to stop her actions, her reactions. But Dean did it for her.

'' Better get back, think you need a little rest..'' he suddenly proclaimed.

'' Of course…''Hazel answered straitening, as if nothing had just occurred..If he could do it then so could she.

Hazel was trying not to pout…..She felt like a kid who'd just been denied their favorite treat….But brightened at the idea of Sam waiting back at the room. She knew it wouldn't be fair to him, but he didn't seem to be playing fair either-and this girl needed to get laid…..Hazel was on hormone overload, being around the brothers was like walking the pages of a smutty romance novel…..and it was time for this heroine to get something to sooth the ache.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thought of Dahlia and her back side dancing in front of him had been clouding Dean's judgments all night. He had tried to stop her from dancing on the table, but the sight of her ass swaying above him had hypnotized and silenced Dean.

He knew he should be considering more important things…such as the strange Houdini act Mc Creepy bartender had pulled, no human vanished like that. And for some reason no matter how hard he tried he couldn't remember the man's features; even though he'd looked him strait in the eye. It was like the harder he tried recalling the details the further they slipped. Then the way Dahlia had reacted, like she was under some kind of spell.

Truth of it was, he was glad she was tipping back a few. Dean was having a hard time with her hurt puppy eyes…..and he just wasn't sure what to make of her. One moment she seemed tough and hard as a navy seal, and the next her vulnerabilities leaked though like rain clouds…she'd be snapping at him one moment, and then lost the next.

Dean just couldn't get used to the lost part of her….Who did she think she was fooling anyhow? It just made him want to protect her more, and not in the normal _monster ate my baby _kind of way….he barely knew the girl…why would he feel so protective over this stranger?

Dean glanced in her direction, her slight form bent away from him…cuddled into the door of the impala. Her skin looked so pale and almost bruised where the moonlight touched it. She sat quiet and so huddled into the door, that it seemed like she was trying to get as far away from him as she could.

Sam had brought the car to the bar earlier, and after some strange exchange between the two, had left Dean the keys. There was some kind of rift between his brother and mystery girl- it was none of his business…..But that didn't mean he wasn't curious; after all it probably had something to do with whatever it was nobody was telling him. Dahlia had claimed it wasn't important- only Dean's gut told him different.

Dean would head straight for the shower when they got back… It might give Sam and the girl time to work things out, she still owed him an answer after all and he wanted to think carefully on the question. It was difficult for him to imagine what else they might be doing while he was in the shower, and that idea reminded him of the ever building pressure in his jeans-something else a shower would cure.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'' Hazel…..I can't, '' Sam stated pulling away, his eyes soft and painful.

The impact of her real name, and the ache in his eyes shook Hazel out of her stupor.

'' Why..'' Hazel asked, unable to turn…not wanting to turn, she wanted him to see the pain she felt as well. It was important he realized how she was feeling, knew that their pain was shared.

'' Because…it's not really me that you want….'' Sam answered gently.

'' Of course I want you..'' she defended.

'' It's not the same…..not the way you want Dean…I can see it in your eyes, when you don't think anyone is watching…..I won't play that part again….not like this, when you're not even in your right mind….''

'' But….I need you Sam. I can't stand feeling this way…..everything is too close to the surface…..'' Hazel stopped, if she said too much more, voiced out loud how lonely she really was….It would just make it all the harder to deny it to Sam ever again….It would make things more real, the pink elephant in the room of her obvious weakness.

Hazel gulped back a sob and stopped herself from reaching out to Sam. She was Dahlia and she didn't need anybody. Hazel would repeat it until she believed it again; give it to the Winchesters to have her so quickly turned around in her own head.

Turned down once again by a Winchester, who'd thought it could be so painful the second time around, Hazel pondered.

'' I should've learned my lesson..'' Hazel mumbled to herself.

'' What..'' Sam questioned derision in his face and manor.

'' Nothing, just thinking about how right you are….._Dahlia_ doesn't need anyone…''She returned.

'' That's not what I…''

'' Doesn't matter Sam…'' Hazel said quietly unable to muster the anger she wished would come with the words; surprisingly, the dead tone seemed to pierce Sam more than Hazel thought it would. And she rolled over turning her back on his pained expression…..hoping that Dean's shower had masked their fight. And that it wouldn't last too much longer-it was too easy to think of his naked form. To imagine it wrapped around hers, even if it was just to hold her….Hazel waited for the sound of Sam's even breathing to let herself cry, muffling her tears against the pillow.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'' What are you called,'' Hazel asked looking at the dark figure before her.

The Hazel part of her recognized him as being the bizarre man/thing that had posed as the bartender, but she didn't appear as Hazel, or even Dahlia in this dream….. Her long black hair was tinted with reddish hues from the sun and hung in a long thick braid down her back and golden armor. She looked like a warrior. And then Hazel was watching from the side..as if a movie were playing.

The warrior princess stood locked in gaze with the warrior man. His hair the same as hers and with silver armor just as deadly protecting his chest. The shield he held in one hand was emboldened with the image of a god. Probably the warrior god, Hazel decided. The warrior princes held not much adornment but the strange symbol on her breast plate, something long and chiseled like a tail wrapped its half man like body. It was like the meeting of fire and water one would have to cancel out the other. And both warriors seemed to know this, so stood ready, muscles flexed in the glow of a full moon.

The woman smiled as if she knew something he didn't, as she glanced at the moon, the smile was wicked and murderous….the smile of someone who had battled many times, bleed many times…and knew she could win against any opponent. The man seemed not easily daunted and flashed a full set of impossibly white teeth in return as if he was toying with her. He thought he would be the victor and her wicked smile only seemed to rile a playful instinct within him, and a rolling sexuality that leapt off his body like steam in the cool light of the moon.

'' Do you not recognize me daughter of man,'' he asked, his deep voice held authority, and a supreme regal ego that had the girl trembling with rage.

The long hair which had been free while Hazel had been awake was pulled into braids and interwoven with rough glass beads that glimmered in the faint light of fire cast up around them like a wall. More detail like a memory was surfacing as Hazel watched. His handsome face was bronzed and unscarred, eyes golden and deeply lashed. The nose that had seemed hawkish earlier she now saw was slightly hooked above a generous mouth.

Hazel felt glamoured by his looks-before he had just been handsome but now he seemed otherworldly, and impossibly perfect. He paced around the princess as she stood in warrior stance. Her crystal bow and lance ready for any sudden movements. He had no fear only amusement, and being cautious the princess knew he was not her friend. He was taunting her with his movement…causing her to need to turn in his every direction as he circled. The princess was infuriated by this, she knew he was not only testing his opponent but would take her body as well if he could. And this was his way of showing her he could do anything he pleased.

Hazel was back inside the warrior princess once again….Only this time it wasn't a stranger whose appearance she wore….It was Dahlia, daggers held firmly before her, modern cloths and weapons rightfully in place.

'' Why do you hide daughter of man……How can you not recognize me….'' he looked back with benign patients, eyes blinking slightly. But she did recognize him.

'' Of course I recognize you…. from the bar…''Hazel said impatiently leering at the guy…She knew this was no regular dream.

'' Is that all….we are more to each other than even that lap-dog that heeds to your call….He did talk well but could never be my match in battle….He is only a boy….too young in this world. Even you could best him if you recalled your true-self…'' Hazel laughed; Dean was hardly a lap-dog.

'' Dean, is no lap-dog……If he knew what I kept from him….he would….he would hate me..''

'' Your eyes are closed even now…..You forget your own charms-even someone like me fell to so long ago…'' he smiled but gave the impression that it was difficult to do, like he was out of practice.

This felt like more than a dream but if it wasn't than what explanation was there, he talked like he knew Hazel….even spoke almost fondly….Yet surely, he was not human.

'' He is more a lap-dog than you realize…..He considers you possession. He fought for you with bravado when he sensed my threat….I have not battled in so long….if you will not heed to me…I will gladly except his challenge..''

'' I heed to no man's command….'' Hazel replied, crossing her arms and bracing her legs.

'' You are just as beautiful as you were then….But balance must be restored…..try and remember daughter of man…'' he drew out then a sword that looked tipped with fire, and glowed with some kind of inner hell that felt familiar.

'' What was taken….will be restored…..'' he roared before her, with an underlining sadness coarsely woven within.

'' But you haven't answered me….how will I know….or remember whatever it is you think I should.''

'' You will remember…..or your lap-dog will die….'' The image of Dean's eyes and of his green and steady gaze lingered behind her own…..could this be real? Was Dean really in danger, Hazel wondered, that was silly right…Dean was a warrior also, minus the armor and horse; unless, you counted his precious Impala. The thought made Hazel grin Dean was a warrior but was he used to this kind of a fight.

'' How do I know any of this is anything more than a dream…'' Hazel asked mostly to herself but was answered.

'' Three warnings will come…….a full moon after the third. You restore balance or I kill what you love, and there will be no choice in the matter..'' his expression was resolute, wavering like a dark sea, hair blowing in some unfelt tide.

The rest came as a surprise as the dream evaporated around them.

'' Please……don't make me force you……Esmeray…'' And like a quiet afterthought.

'' I loved you once to…''

The name triggered something inside Hazel something that said there _were _things to remember. Hazel thought of Dean, and she thought of Sam….She could never let them come to harm because of her….But how could she warn them? How could Hazel warn Dean, when even she didn't have the answers?

Hazel watched the rise of the moon through the slanted curtains she had pulled back. Thinking of the dream…A month, a month was all she had to understand, to understand or to watch the only men she'd ever loved die. It had to be more than a dream, right. Hazel could wait to see how long it took for the first sign to show. But Hazel had never been the type to sit and twiddle her thumbs….She had to tell Sam, in the very least, he would know what to do.


	11. Chapter 11

**Start of a new chapter yay, now that I have gotten the story all cleaned up it's time to move on folks..I would recommended starting from the beginning however because I did change to different points of view…3****rd**** to be exact…and added more glorious detail. I think it flows smoother now..and I am proud of that. I really hope you all enjoy it as much as I did rewriting it. Shout out to all who review and send me the confidence I need to go on and keep posting…apologies that it took so long.**

**LacAnn**

**Chapter Eleven **

**She Loves Him. She loves Him Not……….**

**(One petal left) **

Hazel felt the tears slipping down towards her mouth. She'd been crying too much lately, for the first time in years, actually. And it was like being reborn a stranger, an unwanted stranger. A stranger who you haven't seen in a long time, who it's good to see- like a family member, and the next thing you know there busting through the door as if nothing bad ever happened between you. And you want to shove them right back out that door shouting and screaming but you can't seem to bring yourself to do it because it's just been too long.

And then Dean's hand was on her shoulder….Hazel shivered feeling Dean's presence in his touch. And a memory all her own came through this tumultuous rebirth….It was the first night she had stopped denying her feelings for Dean; at least, in small bits anyway. Also, it was the first night she had realized how much she loved him but could never have him.

(Memory eleven years earlier)

_The room was dark and she'd been crying. The shadows playing off the walls like bizarre puppets controlled by an invisible master. Sam had been their earlier and they'd had a small fight, okay more than a small fight. It made Hazel feel so small; perhaps, she deserved it. She thought to always be alone would be her lot in life. So she had taken advantage of the boy/man Sam, seizing his unsure smile like the last marshmallow in the bag, when they'd first met. And it had been delicious. But now those chewy sweet pure bits of ecstasy were gone and with it the small bit of hope she would ever live a normal life. _

_It had been a fight because of Dean, that chased Sam away, the fight she kept replaying..like a badly written soap opera. Even now, it wouldn't leave her alone. Because Hazel had wanted to go on hating Dean…… that was easier, and Sam had defended his brother against words she should never have said. _

_Pulling the blanket closer Hazel worried she had lost Sam for good..The way he had stormed off and the anger that was pointed directly at her undaunted visage, or at least she pretended she didn't care. As they fought the rain fell hard on her Aunt's old Victorian, the house taking the blunt of the weather, like it had been doing for centuries. The room scattered by those streaking raindrops, which reflected off the grounds light, and the shadows. Oh, the shadows had been deep, deep as the emotions in the room._

'' _You don't understand Hazel'' Sam stated heatedly, after her rather sarcastic comment on the way Dean wore his leather coat like it was an extension of himself, when his dad had in fact given it to him._

_It was the very memory Hazel had felt slide from Sam earlier that triggered her words. All three Winchesters riding in the Impala and the smile on Dean's and Johns face as he'd given the coat to Dean. The way small Sam reacted because even then he'd felt like the only freak in the circus who wasn't part of the big act…He felt he was just in the way, until Dean had turned and ruffled his hair with a grin, making Sam feel better on brotherly instinct alone. How could she fault Dean on being a good guy, Hazel wondered, when Sam's next statement brought her up short? _

'' _And I thought you did understand…I told you things, real things no one else knows! How can you go on treating Dean that way Hazel? '' The tortured look he'd given Hazel was searing her eyes. _

'' _You must have felt him through me….He's the only friend I've ever had…'' Sam insisted, pleading with her and gently but urgently grabbing her arm. _

_That had been the breaking point for Hazel, feeling all of Sam- all of his anger and his frustration, like a heavy coal where his heart should be. It was his life; she was feeling Sam's life and Hazel couldn't push it away so she tried to break free of it. She would hit Sam where he was most vulnerable and prey he wouldn't add it to that ball of heat at his core, because Hazel didn't matter, but Sam was worth saving. _

'' _I didn't feel a thing…he's blank, he doesn't care for anybody but himself….'' The big lie Hazel had told, to herself in denial almost every day……Everyday she found herself growing fonder of the older Winchester, and it scared the Holy Hell out of her. It was also the big lie she now told Sam._

'' _Dean's given me everything he ever could, even if I didn't want it, he's been my father when my father was gone….Christ Hazel, he raised me…when no one else was there.'' Sam hesitated, starting to look pained. _

''_You of all people should understand that, sitting up here like a princess on the hill….pretending to need no one….pretending you don't care!'' Sam spat the words like dark bile and it rose in Hazel's throat choking her air. _

_So, she fell back on her hardest defense…The number one weapon she knew would stop the pain she was feeling. The pain she worked so hard to keep out. Hazel put up her wall and she readied herself for battling words, by the time she would realize what she was doing she wouldn't be able to stop the flow of noxious words but the pain would be gone; anger it's replacement._

'' _I don't care for you Sam Winchester…..I never have…'' and she stopped on a sob turning her back to effectively cut him out. Hazel just wanted him out._

_Sam was furious. Hazel could feel it in the beat of his heart, and in the projected feelings that were strangling her even after he left. She'd hurt him but he was also very angry, her words were lies but he couldn't have known that..She'd made sure he didn't by turning away. And so Sam left the same way he'd come in, through the window and out into the storm._

_Hazel had stood watching he's retreating form….And then the worst possible thing had occurred. Dean stood glowering from outside Hazel's window as if he'd heard the whole thing-looking at her and through her as he always did with those eyes. And before Hazel knew it she was opening the window and letting the energy that was Dean Winchester, a very soggy and dripping Dean Winchester, past her thresh hold. Hazel wanted to hold him and apologize then, she turned back into the room instead. Putting as much distance between them as her heart would allow. _

_But Dean took no time in pleasantries he got right down to the core of the matter and Hazel felt her heart tighten at his words. She wondered, if she could feel any worse and was rewarded with just what she should have been, considering the situation. _

'' _We might not like each other sister….But you just messed with the wrong little brother…Darth Maul at his darkest….will look like hell for you unless you tell me where he's gone to.'' _

_Hazel trembled beneath his gaze….And she broke, shattered into small fragments of Dean, of the night and of Sam, the tears that had only threatened before came in torrents as thick as the rain out-side. Everything Hazel had been keeping locked away for months even for years fell around her like a backwards cross word puzzle. And what Hazel saw in that life she did not like. But when she opened her mouth to speak, the words she wanted to say, had to say to Dean, wouldn't come…She'd been a coward then. _

_Hazel locked gazes with Dean no hostility in her eyes and said the closest thing she could to I love you, the only thing that would come out from her sheltered lungs. The only thing she could get out between gulps without dying completely. _

'' _The lime-stone crevice..'' and then she fainted. She gave her secrete away to Dean because she couldn't hold back her feelings for him anymore._

(Present)

They left the next day, as it turned out Sam had run off to make her the pedant she still wore….and Dean well Dean had found the crevice like he'd always known it was there, and later that night Dean had come looking for her. Where he'd given her that secrete kiss she'd hated and loved for all these years and then he'd…….

Was Dean saying something Hazel wondered, hearing Dean's voice fill with concern. Just as it had all those years before when he'd found her huddled and rocking, naked from the waist up as she thought about Sam.

'' Are you….what are you doing….'' Hazel didn't want to turn but Dean gave her no choice, he had her turned towards him before she could answer.

He looked shaken, and adorably sleep rumpled. And the memories still fresh, mirrored the moment, too much for Hazel to be able to deny the slow burn of love she still felt for the man. Her eyes streaked tears, which were alarmingly present in the moon light. And Dean gathered her to him. He gave Hazel what she had always wanted no matter her thick objectionist heart.

Hazel cried harder and wrapped in the circle of everything Dean… hugged him to her frantically…Perhaps, because she knew, she would eventually have to let go. Or perhaps, because she knew she could no longer deny him anything….even her true name.

Grabbing his face and planting a gracious quick kiss close to the corner of his mouth, a very surprised Dean smiled and chuckled deeply.

'' Don't think we should tell Sammy bout that one…I think he's fallin for you,'' Dean gave her his dashing half cocked and fully loaded grin, the type that makes a girl want to give a man everything she has. And it had the same effect on Hazel it always had.

She wanted to pull away then; she needed to tell him everything. Start small, she reminded herself as her long lashes fluttered in the dip of his heated gaze. Hazel felt Dean's shift as well, and couldn't seem to say what she felt. That is until he said the magic words, or the un-magic ones depending on how you looked at it.

'' Dahlia…'' He started, Hazel couldn't let him finish. The merging of the two worlds collided and she shattered once again…this time in anger. Not at Dean but at herself. Dean was not stupid and she'd been treating him as if he didn't deserve to, or have the right, to know the truth.

'' Hazel….Dean, my name is Hazel..'' her butt thumped the floor almost immediately. And she was suddenly looking up into a very furious yet confused set of darkened green eyes.

Dean paced running his callused hands over his jaw and through his hair. He was extremely agitated. He'd known almost instantly her name hadn't been Dahlia, she didn't look like a Dahlia, in fact nothing about her looked like it belonged there. But why in the hell she would hide her name from him he had no idea. And that in his book alone, made her dangerous….he didn't like liars, never had. Dean turned towards the girl who was still looking terrified on the floor, she had every right to be-but dammed if he still didn't want to gather her in his arms and kiss away the terror. He spoke.

'' Why would you lie to me about your name…..Is this what Sam knows..what you two have been keeping from me?'' Dean's eyes rolled around the room like he could find answers in his surroundings.

Hazel could see the wheels turning in his head and rushed in hoping to repair the damage before it got out of control. Dean's mind was like a machine methodical and constantly picking, picking things apart until he could find that little nugget of info buried somewhere inside.

'' Yes….My name is Hazel, Hazel Whiteburn….and I'm glad to meet you _again _Dean Winchester,'' Hazel rose and offered a feeble smile and her hand.

It was then Dean's mind clicked to the _word_ again, the _name_ again. And fuck if this wasn't the exact reason he still hated witches, they were sneaky and snide masters of manipulation. She probably had a spell on him right now. Dean gave her a withering look and to her credit she stood her ground, her smile evening out somewhat.

'' The same Hazel Whiteburn I tried to keep away from Sam in High School? The same Hazel Whiteburn who stole my brothers heart pissing all over our relationship like a cat in heat ?'' Dean crossed his arms, voice now loud enough to wake the sleeping giant; whom it did, in a jangle of limbs and uttered curses, turning Dean's attention back to Sam.

'' And you knew Sam….How long…How fucking long have you known?'' Dean stalked towards Sam looking like he was ready to strangle someone. Hazel rushed forward afraid for Sam. And Sam held up a warning hand for her to stay back.

'' Since, the Trickster….'' Sam replied softly.

'' Well howdy fuckin frickin do….think you could have mentioned the woman I protected….The woman you loved, was not just another hunter….but a….a….mutant freak, just like the things we deal with everyday!''

Hazel could feel the hurt below the anger inside Dean; apparently she had a connection with him as well, a connection she'd always tried to ignore. And now it was back firing- throwing things at her she didn't want to feel. The fire breathing dragon was awake, and his pain and self denial dug its claws into her heart.

'' I'll leave..'' Hazel spoke quietly breaking the tension that seemed ready to detonate in the room around them.

Hazel didn't want to hurt anybody and she didn't think the damage she'd done with Dean was repairable. But Sam was having none of that, he came forward and enfolded her in his arms. Sam kissed her and Hazel let him because she felt this was his goodbye. A cleared throat and irritated grunt reminded Hazel that Dean was still there.

'' No sweet heart''. Dean said in a mockingly scathing tone.

'' I'll leave….you two seem mighty cozy and I wouldn't want to be in the way..''

'' Dean…'' Sam started. But Dean didn't let him finish. Dean did however give Hazel a warning smack on the ass, satisfied that would do to remind her exactly who she'd been kissing not ten minutes before. That girl was nine kinds of crazy, she was trouble. But Dean had been dealing with trouble long enough to know how to handle it, give it just what it wanted…or needed in her case.

Hazel cried. And Sam wrapped her tighter soothing her with his words.

'' Don't worry Haze….he'll be back, he just needs time to think….''

________________________

It had been nearly two hours since Dean had walked out with a grin and a flash in his green eyes. Sam had insisted Hazel take a shower to calm down and Hazel hadn't done much to refuse, in fact she felt almost numb as the water sluiced down her head neck and body. Apparently, Hazel's coming to terms with her situation had meant more for Dean than she thought it would. But Hell, what had she expected happy reunions and open arms? She'd been selfish in keeping her secrete from Dean, and she deserved allot more than any smack on the ass could've given her. He was still a cocky bastard but damned if she didn't love him even more for it.

After, Dean had left Sam had tried to calm her. Sam had soothed her with words that should have been a comfort.

'' He won't abandon you Hazel…Dean's a warrior, sure his bite can be harsh but in the end his heart won't allow him to give up. He saves people, it's what he's always done….'' Sam had spoken quietly with a determination heard in those who truly believe. And Hazel wanted to believe, but that part of her which cradled Dean inside like a lover…wanted more than his protection. But it was something she couldn't tell Dean, not now-not when she'd hurt him so badly.

Hazel opened her eyes watching the water as it made its path down her skin. That was when she felt _His_ presence. That was when she watched in horror as the clear water muddied and then became an almost black red….like rust left to corrode. Hazel tasted it in her mouth and felt the heavy weight of it pouring over her shoulders. It was blood, thousands of years of it, she thought without knowing why. She didn't want to turn, knew it was the man from the dream….and he was standing right behind her.

A motion so slow, as time seemed to shift turned her to face _Him_ and she screamed.

-----------------

'' Taking a shower huh?'' Dean questioned setting the half bottle of Jack on the table, and motioning to the sound of running water. Dean leaned against the table and took another generous swig, a lack of flinching from years of practice.

'' I thought it would help calm her…'' Sam stated, running his hands through his shaggy hair.

'' Why didn't you tell me Sammy..''

'' She was afraid….''

'' What that I'd go postal and stab her through the heart…'' Sam smiled at that comment, because metaphorically that's exactly what his brother had done.

'' Well Dean, you didn't exactly take the news well..''

'' You know how I feel bout liars Sam….'' And Dean exhaled on a sigh….how had he gotten himself into this mess..And why the hell did pretty girls and he always end up in messes, he was a magnet for trouble.

Oh yes, Dean remembered the girl alright. She'd been slim limbed and curving in all the places a girl her age shouldn't have been. Places, that drove teenage boys to do crazy things. He himself had been tempted by the long smooth hair and the huge eyes; which melted one instant and sparked fire the next. That was until he'd seen the pentacle. It had been easy to slide her into the dangerous category after that, especially after he noticed the way she looked at Sammy. He knew then she'd be trouble.

(Dean's memory of his last night with Hazel eleven years earlier)

_The night had been humid and wet, when Dean had followed his brother out the hotel room door. He knew Sam was upset, could tell by the tightness in his eyes and fake smile that something was bothering the boy. So pretending to fall asleep early Dean had waited for the thing which had become inevitable, Sam sneaking out to see Hazel. _

_His brother had been grumpy all day when he found out their father was coming back, that they were leaving again. And somewhere between the cracks Sam's fondness for the girl had slipped. Of course, Dean knew Sam liked her, perhaps even had a puppy love kind of thing going. But until that night Dean had not realized the depth of Sammy's feelings, or how attached he'd actually become. After all it had only been a few short months, and Dean didn't understand why his brother was so taken with the girl._

_Yes, she was pretty, in the understated way a girl can be when she didn't even try to look attractive. Dean figured the girl must not have a very high opinion of herself and she seemed to have no friends other than his brother. But his brother had always had a craze for stray things, from animals to people. And this time it seemed to be the latter._

_So, when he found himself standing outside Hazel's window in the rain Dean had not been surprised. He hadn't been able to hear the whole of the conversation but he knew it had to do with her dislike of him and his brother's lack of understanding why she felt that way. Dean understood why, or thought he did, because he was the one who had been trying so hard to keep them apart. The girl was a witch after all and despite her protest to knowing any dark magic Dean's hatred for anything supernatural kept him from being able to soften his stance on the subject. _

_No matter how many times he went over the facts with Sam, his brother would not relent. And now Dean found that he and Hazel had stood at opposing ends each trying to talk Sam into their way of thinking. No wonder his brother was so confused, all it took was one of her dazzling smiles and Sam was putty in the girl's hands. _

_Dean strained to get a closer listen and that's when he heard the sentence that reaffirmed his dislike for the girl._

'' _I don't care for you Sam Winchester…..I never have…'' Dean couldn't believe his ears, what kind of a bitch could say such a thing to his younger brother, after spending so much time trying to glue herself to him._

_Dean stepped back when he heard his brothers angry and lumbering footsteps towards the window. He ducked down and waited for his chance to face the girl….to tell her exactly what he thought of her callous remark to his brother. But what he heard brought him up short. Hazel was crying, very softly but it was defiantly there. _

_Then as he stood glowering at her darkened window, trying to decide how to approach the new development, Hazel stepped into the light towards the window…..misery written out in every line of her delicate features. She didn't seem to see him at first but once she did, the misery deepened and to Dean's surprise she came forward and let him inside without a word; which, made it very hard to take the tone he'd been holding in. _

_Dean did anyway, this girl was seriously unbalanced and he wanted to be on guard in case she decided to go Cuckoo's Nest on him, and perform some ritualistic lobotomy. He didn't think she was gonna answer at first, and she looked ready to crumple right there at his feet. _

_But she told him, and he should have known, because he'd followed the pair there often enough. It was a beautiful spot and it made sense his brother would go there to remember the girl. Dean watched as Hazel fell and resisted the urge to make sure she was okay. After all, what if she had been faking, the monster was always doing that in the movies, and he still did not trust the girl. _

_He did go to the spot however, and when found his brother was not there, went back to the motel to find his brother was in neither place. Determined now more than ever Dean went back to check on the girl, hoping Sammy had gone back for one last goodbye, and found she had left also._

_Huffing out his disgruntled curses Dean once again traced his steps back to the limestone crevice and the sight that met his eyes had his breath catching in his throat. It was Hazel framed by the moonlight, wet and naked from the waist up. Her tears mingled with the rain making her eyes appear silver, her lips trembled and her body was shaking as she rocked, face held up towards the sky. She mouthed his brother's name over and over in her quiet reverence, and Dean found himself for the first time in his life… jealous of Sammy._

_There was this sparkle from the rocks and water around and over Hazel, dripping from her hair, her lashes, and even the delicate pink tips of her nipples. She looked like a nymph and Dean couldn't help but be enthralled by the sight. He felt his heart tighten, even as his pants did. He wanted to comfort the girl more than anything, but there was only one way Dean knew how to do that._

_Dean stepped forward, the girl/nymph looked up….surprise shinning in her eyes. And all it took to unravel his control was one word._

'' _Dean,'' it was whispered like a small plea, and she held his gaze with one that said too much but not enough at the same time._

_Kneeling down next to Hazel Dean did the only thing he could, the most natural thing for him to do. He opened his arms where the girl practically lunged within, sitting astride his lap like a toddler might do. Her chest pressed into him her shivering stopped and her arms slid under his jacket where she fit herself contently inside._

_When she rocked against him it was his undoing, the feel of her wet body, the plea in her eyes she probably didn't even completely understand was met with Dean's passion. He claimed her mouth softly at first, but as she responded so did he. She opened herself up completely to him, something Dean had never felt before….like a moonflower opening its petals. In a kiss that was all fire, all ice. And then she whimpered and Dean remembered. He remembered trouble, he remembered how young she was, and he remembered how wrong this should feel-even though it didn't. So he pulled away. _

(present)

And then trouble was screaming from behind the locked bathroom door, the kind of pure terror one with a practiced ear could understand. There was no stopping to think for Dean then- only doing. He didn't even check to see Sam's reaction he kicked through the door and took stock of the situation before him.

Hazel stood naked, and it would have been a nice view if the other details hadn't blocked these thoughts from Dean's head. She looked like she was bleeding from every pore in her body, even her hair was dripping with it. Problem was, Dean couldn't tell where the blood was coming from.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, another chapter up…..lots of sexual tension and angsty goodness-Hope you all enjoy-love LacAnn**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Blood and Bonding**

Hazel stood transfixed by her image in the mirror. It was like something out of a movie, and the terror echoed in her features-so loudly that she couldn't think….couldn't comprehend the idea that she was not alone anymore. Just the faint whisperings of Dean and Sam's energy to let her know she was safe. But the fading memory of the man behind her in the shower held tight, she was numb and surrounded by emotions she couldn't quiet connect with or understand. All at once, the room came into vivid focus around her, when had she been moved to the bed?

Dean's face was hovering above hers….. he was saying something, and the look in his eyes told her it was very important she focus in on his voice. She opened her mouth, trying to focus on her words but all that came out was faint mumblings.

'' Man…..shower…..blood…so much, so much.''

Dean had taken the time to clean most of the blood from Hazel's wounds; he and Sam had worked on it for a while in silence. Both working alongside each other smoothly and fluently…each lost in his own thoughts. After Dean had kicked through the bathroom door, they had rushed inside noting the blood on the floor and filling the tub. The water in the tub had started to clear as clean water diluted the already congealing mess in the tub. The faucet was turned off and Hazel lifted easily away from the scene in Sam's grip, cradled against his chest, she didn't speak. They both traded worried glances afraid Hazel was in some kind of shock. But neither had any idea what could have possibly occurred to make her terrified stair seem so frightening. It was like some kind of post traumatic stress had occurred but there was only a bloody residue left and neither brother had any ideas as to what could've possibly happened.

Dean's voice suddenly strung into a straight line working through the knotted reverberations and like a suction Hazel's ears popped into understanding.

'' Are you hurt, what man….there was no man Haze..'' he said her name the same way Sam had, as if he'd been doing it forever.

Hazel looked back into Dean's face with astonishment; no-one had ever called her Haze except for Sam. Where was Sam? She did a quick scan of the room to find his energy absent. Alarm pushed Hazel upright quickly, too quickly, and the room spun around her. Dean supported Hazel when she almost toppled from the bed, a scowl on his face.

'' Relax….god damnit….'' he growled.

'' Sam….Where's Sam…..?'' Dean seemed surprised by her question and then smiling answered Hazel.

'' Sam's fine he went to get extra towels….You on the other hand need to calm down….it looks like Norman Bates bathroom in there…'' Dean's voice was light and joking, but Hazel couldn't find the humor in the situation.

'' For Christ Sakes Dean, how could you be joking at a time like this..'' Hazel scolded. And Dean's smile widened.

'' There's my girl..'' that statement had her sputtering.

'' I am nobody's girl Dean…'' she sniffed, pouting like a child.

'' And you're so cute when you lie..'' His grin widened again, as Hazel realized he was teasing her.

'' And cute when you're being an ass..'' she replied with a grin of her own. This statement surprised an answering boyish grin from Dean, and he looked sideways rubbing his palm over his hair.

'' What can I say, sometimes you have to be an ass to get things done….'' Dean cleared his throat and Hazel knew he was uncomfortable, and about to say something that would make her feel just as uncomfortable as him.

That was when Hazel looked down towards the bed and found herself naked….except for the towel which barely managed to cover her left nipple. Yanking, the small blood covered towel against her Hazel blushed at her circumstance.

'' Yeah, more towels would be good….'' she replied.

Dean interrupted; obviously trying to avoid that subject…Hazel was sure Dean had his fill of her naked form.

'' Dah…..I mean Hazel…'' throat cleared again. Hazel thought it was adorable how obviously frustrated Dean was becoming and couldn't resist the urge to poke at him.

'' Who-ever you want me to be Dean…'' she said in a sultry tone, laughing when his ears and cheeks darkened.

'' Hazel….''he corrected, all the teasing gone from his tone.

Yeah, that's right she was Hazel now….And Dean hated Hazel, she thought, resisting the urge to punch him in the nose. He had every right to hate her anyhow….she'd just have to live with it. But Hazel didn't want to live with it. She slumped back down crossing her arms over her chest as she sulked and prepared for whatever it was Dean thought was so important. Where the hell was Houdini when you needed him?

'' I need to know what happened, while you were…..while you were…bathing. You don't seem to be cut anywhere, and we looked…'' Hazel snorted, of course they looked everywhere, probably got a real close look, Dean grinned.

'' Don't worry sister…We were very professional,'' as if that was supposed to make her feel better.

'' Well, I guess I don't need a towel at all then..'' Hazel sniffed out, making to remove her small covering. Just to see Dean's reaction, she was bluffing of course.

'' No, that would not be a good idea…'' Dean stated, with a wolfish grin stopping her hand with his own. The gentle touch and resulting stray thought, zapped through Hazel like lightening.

_If only Sammy wasn't on his way back up here Hazel, I'd show you how to forget…._

At least, she knew she had some kind of effect on Dean…even if it was just physical. He wouldn't be the only one showing someone how to forget. She'd forget him right out of the idea that she was somehow wrong, right into the mattress. Hazel giggled up into Dean's face, just as Sam came in through the door.

She bolted off the bed and into a very embarrassed looking Sam's arms. Her towel had slipped down and Sam sweet heart that he is was trying to avoid looking, as Hazel smacked kisses all over his face. Saved by my big hearted giant, she thought.

'' My knight, '' Hazel sighed, and grabbed the offered towels with a flourish. She flounced into the bathroom, trying to close the splintered door…then gave up. Dean was right the bathroom did look like the Bates Motel was open for business. So Hazel did the best she could cleaning the rest of the mess after putting on some cloths.

For some reason now that the incident was just a fading memory it didn't seem as terrifying. That and the fact that Hazel made the effort to remember things from a distance, as if it had been just a movie she'd been watching. She pushed it down deep and collected herself; she'd been through life threatening situations before….and today was just another day added on to her abnormal life. Perhaps, she was a freak like Dean believed. But really he was no less, just minus the extra sensory impute that pumped through her….a life force all its own.

'' Well, everything seems to be back in order..'' Dean stated raising his eye brow in Sam's direction.

'' Yeah, she's bounced back….Did she tell you what happened?''

'' We were getting to that before you came in..''

'' I've been gone for twenty minutes Dean….''

'' What can I say Sammy the only thing she did manage to say was all garbled….Something about a man. You didn't see anybody…or feel anything..'' Dean looked towards Sam, saying but not saying what they both already knew…it frustrated Sam when he did this.

'' Afraid my Psychic Antennae didn't pick up any signals Dean..'' sarcasm edged Sam's voice.

'' Psychic Antennae….'' Hazel questioned poking her head around the corner, she couldn't help but overhear through the almost nonexistent door, she added.

'' Nice work on the door Dean…''

'' Got the job done, didn't I..'' Dean replied, agitation in his voice.

'' Next time try turning the handle..''

'' A thank you would be nice…'' fingers laced together in frustration, Dean stood up.

'' Long story….'' Sam responded to Hazel's question, smiling tightly.

'' No….. the only story I am interested in is yours…'' Dean interrupted, turning to leer murderously at Hazel.

'' Not with that attitude mister..'' she swallowed her laugh ducking back behind the safety of the bathroom door….Dean looked ready to strangle her.

-------------------------------------------

Dean was irate by the time he entered the third diner, that morning. Not only had Hazel managed to piss him off once, but he'd had to go to three separate places for the girl's food. Who the hell ate cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast anyway? And on top of that she refused to say what had happened until she ate; it made Dean feel more in the dark than he wanted to. If they were facing something, something that could appear and disappear in the click of a second Dean wanted to know what. And the only lead they had, insisted on breakfast first, she was just as irritating as she'd been eleven years ago. Unfortunately, she was also sexy as hell.

He remembered Sam's sputtering apologies as they had whipped the girl clean, checking for where the blood was coming from. They'd both ended up with hard-ons, and it had embarrassed the hell out of his little brother. Dean had told him not worry, he was a man after all…there was no need to apologize for what was natural. That had only flustered Sam more and he made the excuse to go get more towels. Dean didn't mind, it had given him a closer proximity to the half conscious Hazel, and he had cleaned her more gently and more intimately than Sam seemed able to do. Hazel's eyes had been half lidded and seductive as she lay against the bed sheets, no snapping fire, or biting retorts. The more Dean cleaned the less restless they both seemed to become…him because he could find no injury. And Hazel probably because in her semi-conscious state had become relaxed, relaxed in the way the feel of a human touch could be.

And now he carried her bag, his bag and his brother's bag back towards the Impala. He threw the bags in with all the grace he could muster for her cottage cheese and smiled as he imagined her expression when she saw the slop with the half bruised strawberries inside the plastic closed lid container. From there he was off and so were his thoughts.

(Memory Dean- eleven years earlier)

Dean skipped the steps up to their motel room a little drunk on wine and singed with desire for the girl he'd just left very satisfied. He'd built her a fire by the lake and brought a bottle of wine, adding a blanket into the mix because it had been raining earlier. The moon had been full and he'd had a date with one of the prettiest girls in school, the only problem was she wasn't the standard cheerleader or popular type…..nope Candace made her own category. She made intelligence cute and very sexy. She knew all the constellations by name and story, which Dean had already mostly known from his studies on myth and lore. But he'd let her retell him because they just sounded so much better coming from her than a book.

Dean had opened the wine and at first she protested, as some girls did with Dean, and then he gave her the thousand watt smile and her good intentions died on her pretty pink lips. It had only taken two glasses to get the girl to relax after that, and a small third one to have her believing in romance. Candace had called him Romeo only half joking and quoted Shakespeare before taking his lips. Dean had smiled and asked her if that meant that he was dead. The girl seemed surprised Dean knew the words she had quoted and answered with a coy look of her own.

'' Oh no Dean, I'll make sure you don't feel dead in the very least….'' And she had come to him.

Girls were a constant surprising mixture of puzzles and enigmas all you had to do to figure one out, was know where to apply the correct pressure. And Dean liked a challenge, in fact he preferred a challenge…It was like hunting in its own way…find the weakness and expose it. Dean was thinking all this as he rounded the corner towards the room.

Great, he thought, the light was on…what would Sammy be up doing this late? Probably, studying as always….But Dean slowed when he heard the definite female giggle coming from behind their motel room door. And if Dean hadn't known better he'd be ready to induct his brother into the '' Hall of All that's Good and Manly '' but he would know that giggle anywhere…..Hazel.

Dean stooped below the lighted window trying to decide whether to pull his blade as he honed in on their conversation.

'' No Sam, it was page 143, the part on Mitochondrial DNA…Look at the paragraph..'' Muted turning of pages followed by Sam's voice.

'' I could have sworn it had something to do with fusion..'' And they shared some mutual nerdy joke, but this time when Hazel laughed it had that full throated husky tinge of desire, Dean had come to recognize in his own experiences.

'' Fusion…'' Dean mouthed the words before getting the meaning. Fuck if that girl was gonna be fusing anything with his brother.

Dean kicked through the door and was shocked to find his brother well onto or past second base. His brother's head came up from bellow the covers with a look of exasperation, and a flushed face. Hazel was livid. She was up quickly and thank the heavens Dean thought, still mostly clothed-her cotton white panties below what looked to be….was that his shirt.

'' Cotton……really?'' Dean questioned, as if he'd expected flowers and lace….Well, he had actually and was somewhat disappointed.

This observation cost him 2.3 seconds of time, and the girl and Sammy were out the window and down the fire escape before he knew it. Dean gave them a head start, being the fair hunter that he is, and rummaged around Sammy's bed where they'd been '' studying.'' He was about to give up the search for any evidence…when he saw a tiny section of lace and a strap poking out from beneath Sam's pillow.

C-cup at the very least covered in little vines and roses. The rim was curved by delicate lace and in the center perched a tiny satin bow. Dean was instantly curious this was no run of the mill braw, it was fancy and expensive.

'' And the mystery deepens..'' Dean stated to the room around him, anticipating going after the girl and his brother. Hazel defiantly came from money….either that or she was a thief, a very good one from the looks of that bra. Dean stuffed the thing in his bag for later inspection and whistled his way over to the fire escape…He could still hear the echo of their retreating sprint on the wet pavement. It had started to rain again and he'd better get a move on if he wanted to catch that gangling brother of his and his brother's baggage.

(Present day)

'' Wonder what ever happened to that bra…'' Dean mused out loud, as he pulled into the parking lot next to Hazel's bike.

'' Just like the gun my ass,'' he proclaimed, smiling at the black and shiny chrome of Hazel's bike. The girl had named it after his brother, and the idea rankled him that his brother had had more of Hazel then he ever had. Didn't matter anyway, Dean supposed, Hazel was right about one thing….she belonged to no man. Why that should bother him so much Dean didn't know. He frowned as he started up the stairs with her food. Well, he could do one thing for her at least, protect her from whatever it was that had her running….and protect her he would-no matter how much she protested.

* * *

'' Let me get this straight..'' Sam stated, running a stray hand through his untidy hair, he continued.

'' The man from the bar was in your dream….and then also in the shower….and he gave you a month to _remember your true self…to restore the balance_ or he would kill what you love. And what is it he referred to as your love…''

'' I figured he meant you and Dean….he spoke mostly of Dean I guess cause Dean was the one with me at the bar the other night..'' Liar a voice protested in her head and then was echoed by a hoarse Sam.

'' So you do love Dean…''

'' Does it really matter Sam…'' Hazel sighed.

'' Yes, it matters because you don't want to tell Dean certain parts and he's the one who's in the most danger..'' Sam looked frustrated and Hazel couldn't blame him.

But how could she tell the man that she loved, that the thing he hated most about her…her abilities….. was the reliable source she was counting on. Dean was all about the logical, what he could touch, feel and taste himself. How could she expect him to believe in something he couldn't?

'' He'd have to know about my powers Sam….And I don't think he would be very understanding…'' Sam cut her off.

'' He's known about mine for almost two years….''

'' And how's that working out for you Sam….'' Hazel questioned looking up into his eyes; she could feel his response-it wasn't working out.

'' We'll, just break things to him slowly Haze….besides if you don't tell him now he'll eventually find out anyhow….and then it might be too late..'' Sam grabbed Hazel's small hand in his, trying to give her strength, she sighed.

'' You're right Sam…..I just don't want him looking at me like I'm a freak again. He already started doing that this morning….it was like eleven years all over again…'' Sam hugged Hazel, running his hands down her back.

'' It will get easier, I promise Haze..'' And then the door opened.

'' Don't you two look cute….just like a couple of love birds..'' Dean's smile was all sarcasm.

'' Got your cottage cheese..'' Dean slammed the container down on the table top. Hazel looked to Sam and he gave her the shoulder shrug that seemed to say _take him as you see him_.

'' I meant what I said…'' Sam started; Hazel cut him off with a look and a spoon full of soupy cottage cheese. This stuff was terrible.

'' What did you do, pee in it…..'' Hazel squealed, looking down in horror at what once must have been a strawberry. Dean grinned.

'' Nope…but I can't account for the kitchen help…''

Hazel swallowed her pride and reserved the right to seethe in silence. He had gotten her what she asked for after all, with barely any complaint.

'' Well, someone might have to hold my hair back if my stomach disagrees with said food…But thank you Dean, you didn't have to get me anything…'' Hazel looked up just in time to catch the surprise on his face.

'' That's right, damn pain in the ass to….Think I'll head off to the shower…'' and he sauntered by tipping an imaginary hat to her as he sidled past.

'' What was that about..'' Hazel asked, still spooning through the soupy mess…Well, it tasted fresh anyway.

'' Not sure Haze….but I think you just made Dean's day..''

'' Well, good cause it's gonna get a lot rougher from here on in,'' she sighed.

Where to start with Dean, Hazel mused....She supposed Mc Creepy Bartender would be a good place; Dean had seen the guy to-but how much could she tell him about her powers? The dream….lots of people had premonitions. Hazel finished her food with satisfaction. She had a place to start, and that was something at least.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Twelve**

**New Beginnings and Soggy Tee-Shirts **

Hazel twisted in her seat, the way Dean was looking at her made her feel all kinds of uncomfortable. So she waited in silence for the questions, or more in Dean's case interrogation to come. He was pacing, just like he always did when agitated, every once and a while he would turn and look at Hazel open his mouth and point his finger but nothing would come out. And Dean's pacing would resume. Hazel looked back towards Sam where he lay sprawled on the bed during the story, giving her comforting smiles when she didn't want to go on.

'' Dean….'' Sam started, leaning forward and pleading with his eyes. Dean took one look at Sam and held up his finger for silence.

Then Dean turned that full leveled gaze towards Hazel-she nearly shrunk back. That look made her feel like a ten year old about to be scolded; Hazel noted the ring of tiredness under Dean's eyes and felt a little guilty because it was her fault it was there. Everything about Dean spoke of a certain weariness, naked of his fool's mask, Dean looked just plain haunted. The normally ridged line of his shoulders slumped inwards, his mouth dropping at the edges. Hazel wished that whatever unspoken burden weighed down on Dean, and she could tell it was so much more than her identity, she could ease.

'' So you are saying _Hazel_…..'' He stated, with a strong emphasis on her name. Dean continued with a bitter smile.

'' That I have two….not just one….but two physics on my hands now!''

Hazel nodded mutely and Dean held up his arms in exasperation.

'' Great, that's just great..'' Dean finally sat, making Hazel feel allot less uncomfortable.

'' And how long have you been having these…..dreams..'' Dean asked, his hands beckoning on her story and then coming to rest across his lap.

'' I've always had very vivid dreams….but these ones about the village….right around my tenth birthday..'' Hazel stiffened she'd never really thought about them before, nor how long they had gone back..And then she gulped, her eyes going wide. It had been right around her tenth birthday, she remembered because of the new necklaced amulet her parents had given her, telling her it was for her protection.

'' What is it Haze..'' Sam asked gently.

'' I had the first one the night my parents….the night I found out about their accident….'' Hazel remembered the journal she had kept just for her dreams, something her parents had taught her, and she had an idea of where they could go next. But it would be dangerous she hadn't been back to the old house in years…Not since _they_ had come after her in her own home.

'' What is it…..'' Dean asked reading her ever changing expression. Hazel didn't want to go back.

'' I know where we need to go..'' Hazel folded her head into her hands trying to gather the strength to even say the words. She hated going back there, hated the memories that haunted the houses drafty corridors. In fact, she hadn't been back in three years….not since finding the note from Luci. Oh God Luci, what would you think of me now…all weakness and no back bone, and for a man none the less.

'' Whiteburn Lane…'' Hazel said numbly, as if just the words would poison her tongue.

'' The old house….your aunts house..'' Sam questioned.

'' It's not hers anymore…she died a few years after you left town…It's mine now..''

Something in Hazel's manor must have tipped Sam off because his next question caught her off guard, had her remembering how close they had been, and how close they still were.

'' From alcoholism…''

Hazel nodded mutely, shaking her head back and forth like she refused to remember…to say the words. Because it wasn't the sauce that finally got her aunt, it was worse. Sam got up coming around behind Hazel, and rubbed her back…he knew like he always seemed to that this was hard for her. And finally she spat the word; ejecting it as quickly as she could…it burned her throat coming out.

'' Murder….''

She could hear the brothers sigh in unison. This was something they could understand they'd both lost people…she could feel it inside them eating away like a cancer. They all sat that way in mutual silence each suffering their loses over again in their minds. And then as if he'd spoken the words out loud Dean's voice rang out.

'' _How many more will die….once I'm in Hell…?''_

Hazel's head snapped up, and it took her a moment to realize that it wasn't Dean's voice but his thoughts. She nearly blew that one with the questions poised on the tip of her tongue. But the idea behind the thought Hazel couldn't even imagine, was trying to digest…when his next outburst had her reeling.

'' _I don't deserve to be here anyway..''_

Hazel suddenly felt enraged, mad that he would consider so little of himself…and pissed at who ever had put the idea into his head. She jumped up with fire in her eyes. After all Dean had done for others, sacrificed so that others could live. Dean had never had a normal life either, had given up on the idea long ago. Not only that but he didn't think he deserved one. The idea was too close to Hazel's own situation, not that that mattered to her but she had lived only for herself for so long, her own survival. And the idea that Dean had lived only for others and yet felt lacking in some way, made Hazel's response snap like little sparks through every life giving vein she had. It echoed cavernous and hollowly inside her; until, settling in her heart and opening it further for the renegade hunter. She would never let Dean give up.

'' Time to stop sitting around here like a bunch of moaning sallies…'' Hazel looked at Dean when she said this…..and then after his initial jolt of reanimation.

'' Let's go get those Son-of-a-Bitches…'' Dean looked upward in surprise, as his jaw hardened with resolve, and then he smiled at Hazel. She had him; the air of sadness disappeared quickly.

'' You know I think you might be alright, sweetheart..'' and Dean patted her ass as he focused on readying the room for departure.

Hazel looked over at Sam quizzically, and he beamed.

'' I think you just got one of the biggest compliment's you can get from Dean..'' Sam stated.

'' I wish he would turn down those damn thoughts..'' Hazel whispered to Sam, shoving things into her bag as Dean whistled obliviously in the back ground.

'' What did you hear..''

'' Nothing a bottle of Jack won't cure, we'll talk about it later, don't think I can handle it right now…Besides we got things to do my big beautiful man…'' Hazel blew a kiss in Sam's direction just as Dean was walking through with the duffle.

'' Enough….of that you two..they'll be plenty of time for four-play later..'' Dean said gruffly, laughter in his eyes.

-------------------------

'' You can't come into the bathroom with me Dean!'' Hazel protested, sharply enough to draw the elderly couple from the booth behind their's attention.

Great she thought, now she was shocking old people with Dean's out of the ordinary proposals, he drove her so nutty sometimes. What in the world made him think it was in any way a socially acceptable idea for him to follow her into the Ladies room.

'' That _Dean……_ is an insane idea. What do you think makes it okay for a man to follow a woman into the restroom….?'' Hazel flipped a piece of her toast in his direction narrowly managing to miss his nose; she'd been aiming for his beguiling smile…. Hazel was pissed that he still managed to look incredibly sexy while offering up such a crazed suggestion.

'' I'm not taking any chances sister….you are not getting out of my site, it's too risky!'' What was he planning on doing; he couldn't be there with her every second of the day?

'' What about showering….'' Hazel asked with mortification in her voice, the idea of Dean standing outside her shower stall had her face flaming.

Because surely not only would he be standing there, he'd probably be listening for any suspicious noises, and on her side at least, the sexual tension would have her jumping out of her skin. And then thinking that perhaps he'd just join her, Hazel almost blurted it out…but went with a more subtle approach.

'' Oh, and were you planning on washing my hair, perhaps scrubbing my back….._nurse Dean?_'' It didn't have the desired affect Hazel had hoped for. He must be used to hearing outrageous things because Dean didn't even flinch. What kind of an insane lifestyle did these guys live, Hazel wondered.

'' We'll work something out..'' Dean said with a grin, adding.

'' Besides, it's not like I haven't see it already…'' Hazel had to cross her arms with the robust look Dean was sending towards her chest, his eyes slightly glazed over with memory.

Sam smacked his brother in the arm giving him a _quit badgering the girl _look that had Dean's smile widening even further. He leaned in towards Hazel, eyes and voice rich like the smoothest cappuccino as he ignored Sam's warning. Hazel half expected him to reach for her, to pin her beneath him throwing breakfast and condiments aside in a sexual frenzy. She imagined the scene and even the idea of the bits of scrambled egg she would gladly lick from his chin had Hazel clamping her legs tighter in denial. There was no use thinking thoughts like that when that's all it could ever be between them. But then Dean was talking and all the thick huskiness from before, the suggestive tone, was gone as if it had never been. No, Dean was all business now. Hazel wondered if she'd even heard it at all.

'' We're gonna be like bosom buddies, or Siamese twins….so get used to the idea…''

'' Why is it so important to you Dean?'' She asked, finding it strange that only last night he couldn't bear the thought of being around her, and now he wanted to tail her- no pun intended.

'' Because sweet heart, I promised myself I would keep you safe….and in order to do that I need to keep my eyes on the trophy..'' Dean leaned back folding his arms as if that should end the argument. But Hazel had been on her own too long, to enjoy taking orders, no matter how much they made her heart jump with pretty frolicking butterflies. Or how many fantasies they induced, hopefully she'd get over that part of it. But not before doing her damnedest to drive him as crazy as he drove her.

Hazel lowered her eyes and her voice, giving it that sexy timbre she'd seen so often in the movies….And moving her lips to a curved smile she hoped would be effective, she drew her fingers up along the edges of Dean's, locking his eyes with her own. Hazel fed forth all the pent up desire she had opening for him as she lazily stroked his thumb. Dean's eyes lit with surprise and a fleeting thought was caught inside Hazel, like Dean was running from his very physical reaction to her.

'' _God, she must taste like honeysuckle…..she smells like…….''_

Hazel pulled quickly away, all thoughts of revenge lost inside Dean's devouring eyes. She felt voyeuristic hearing his thoughts of her in that way….it didn't feel right, when all she'd been doing was trying to tease him..to play his game. Oh, Dean wanted her alright but not in the hard fast way she always imagined Dean would take a girl. And Hazel, believer of romance wanted Dean more than ever now. The only question was could she take what she wanted, could she satisfy herself with one night? Hazel didn't think that she could. She looked up just in time to see the light of suspicion enter Dean's eyes, giving into his demands because it was the smallest part of Dean she could allow herself to give into.

'' Alright, I'll go…. but it doesn't mean I have to enjoy it…..You drive me crazy Dean Winchester..''

'' Back at you sweet heart..'' Dean winked, and Hazel got up with a whistling strolling Dean trailing behind…Couldn't Dean at least be covert about the whole thing, Hazel thought, with a small smile.

They got back to the small closed in hallway, with one sign that read exit and two others with the outline for male and female on the dark wooden doors. The walls around held photo's from the past as well as a variety of knick-knacks, such as signs that read Coco-Cola and the ever present rustic pitch fork that looked a hundred years old, and probably was. The space suddenly seemed too tight as Dean filed in behind her, the outline of his eyes barely readable as he used the universal body language for '' go on in.''

'' What if there is someone else inside Dean..'' Hazel asked trying to picture the lucky lady who got to watch their entrance. Dean was defiantly no female, and the next lewd thing would probably cross her mind.

'' She'll think the worst, she'll think that were….that were..'' Hazel had trouble getting the words out. But Dean had no such trouble.

'' Having dirty, steamy, truck stop sex in the bathroom..'' And he was laughing at her.

'' Don't worry darlin' these places have their fill of that…..believe me…'' Dean poked her in the ribs like she was the cutest thing he'd ever seen, or the Pillsbury Dough Boy. This bothered Hazel that he saw her as such an innocent; especially, when her reluctance had nothing to do with innocent thoughts.

'' I'm sure your use of bathroom wooing would amaze me Dean…'' Hazel responded sarcastically adding.

'' Why would you do that, in the bathroom of all places…?''

'' It was just convenient at the time…not like I could've takin her back to motel room with Sammy their..''He nodded his shoulders matter of factly which made Hazel wonder how many bathroom interludes the guy had participated in. And she couldn't resist asking.

'' How many…?''

'' Bathrooms or woman…'' he teased, and then continued.

'' What makes you think I would remember..'' He did in fact remember but he wasn't about to let Hazel in on his sentimentalist secrete.

'' Whatever….let's just get this over with..'' And Hazel pulled Dean inside, luckily there were no occupants at the time..or she probably would have died of humiliation.

------------------

Sam was worried. Not because he thought his brother would jump Hazel in the bathroom. No, his brother had always been quiet good at not mixing business with pleasure. Sure Dean would tease Hazel, but that was just part of who he was. Sam was more worried about them spending too much time together, and Hazel letting something slip. Because he knew in no way would Dean be comfortable with the extent of Hazel's powers, with the idea that she could see inside of him, read him, and already knew more about Dean than Dean realized.

Sam was also uncomfortable because he knew it was impossible not to love Hazel. And Dean was a romantic; he was the kind of romantic that could only afford to come out of the closet long enough for one night, or perhaps a long weekend. That was because Dean didn't believe he was worthy of having a real life, he'd been a hunter too long and he refused to let himself be anything else.

Sam also knew that with the whole Hell deal….if Hazel found out- she was just brave and loved Dean enough to do everything she could to save him. Something, Sam himself was working diligently to prevent. Because, Dean didn't deserve to go to hell….he'd spent his life saving others and that was the last place his brother deserved to go. If anyone should be going it should be him…..he was the one with the demon blood for Christ Sake. And there were only so many months left, and no leads had panned out.

Sam sighed, his brother was not gonna know what hit him by the time he got to really know Hazel. And Sam well…… he guessed he'd be left to pick up the ashes. He'd noticed the exchange between Hazel and Dean…the way she had gone to tease Dean and then pulled back just as quickly. Sam knew the look in Hazel's eyes meant she'd felt or heard something. And that something had her suddenly letting Dean take charge. Sam just hoped it wasn't what he thought it was, Hazel giving in to Dean in anyway, could only lead to trouble.

Sam bent low over his lab-top, they still had over seven hundred miles left….they could drive strait through but somehow he didn't think that they would. Dean of course would insist upon it but Hazel needed the rest…she needed something besides the backseat of the Impala to sleep in. Sam knew that vibrating engine and slick seat was not a good place to get some sleep, it didn't allow for that kind of rest. He himself had slept back there many times being a kid with Dean always shotgun next to his dad. His dad had never seemed to sleep, never seemed to need it…once John Winchester got his mind on the hunt there were no potty breaks, or stops in diners…just the open road. It was something Sam had come to appreciate about his and Dean's time together. The regular stops….the pieces of real life almost like being a regular family, even when the meal conversation consisted mainly of monsters and demons.

Sam thought again of Hazel, hoping her resistance to his brother's charms would hold. She was a very strong girl she had always been that way, but she had one major flaw….Hazel was also a closet romantic. And what would happen when you got two closet romantics together?….Sam was afraid of the consequences…if they came together it would be like an explosion of pent up ideals, versus needing the acceptance. And neither one had needed another person in that way in a long time, if ever in his brothers case. Yep, seven hundred miles, Sam guessed they would make it five tops; because, it was already nearing two o'clock.

--------------

Hazel pushed Dean aside as he made to follow her into the stall. She could hear his laughter and see his boots beneath the bright red hinged door. He was right outside and Hazel suddenly realized she couldn't perform under that kind of pressure. She sat and tried anyway, but her bladder refused to cooperate.

'' Can't you go turn on the tap or something..'' Hazel argued.

'' Why, having performance anxiety?''

'' Yes I am, and your standing too close….I feel like you might as well be sitting in my lap..'' she answered.

'' That could be arranged you know…..'' he teased. Hazel sighed. And Dean gave in.

'' Alright honey, if it's that big of a deal……you'd think I'd never heard nature calling before..'' Dean grumbled as he stepped away from the door and across the bathroom to turn on the tap.

That's when it happened, the main door swung wide and another person entered the bathroom. Hazel heard the resulting gasp, and Dean's protest of taking his daughter to the toilet. He even had a whole daughter father story to go along with it. Hazel couldn't help the laughter as the woman left abruptly with a curt '' Pervert'' muttered with her retreat. The laughter had Hazel finished in record time and Dean ready to strangle her from the other side of the door.

'' Done Daddy…'' she couldn't help but rub in as she emerged.

'' I'm sure your laughter didn't help at all….'' he replied, when Hazel's giggles started anew.

'' Actually, it did _I_ feel allot better now..'' Hazel pushed the soap dispenser enjoying the view of Dean behind her in the mirror. He was looking over her shoulder from left to right like he'd never seen a bathroom sink, or the ritual Hazel was performing.

'' What, are you doing…'' Dean asked, scratching his chin.

'' Washing my hands….'' she answered, with a roll to her eyes.

'' I know that…but we don't have all day…I was hoping we could drive strait through…'' Hazel looked back at him in exasperation.

Then seeing the towels were out, and being frustrated he would even think they could make that long of a drive without at least one night of rest, decided to use his black tee shirt as the needed towel. Dean looked down frowning as he watched his shirt being pulled and twisted beneath her small hands, and realized she was using him for a towel. Directly after this thought came the innocent but very seemly slow press of her hands brushing the muscles above his jean's. And Damn the girl if she didn't even seem to notice. The rush of sensation traveled outward from Dean's belly button, to every extension of his body, including the very appendage he was trying the hardest to ignore where the girl was involved and he groaned automatically.

Hazel giggled to herself; she had started out just needing a towel but couldn't help feeling the male storm that rose up around Dean when she accidentally brushed his stomach, a very nice hard stomach indeed. But if he insisted on having her play some innocent for his own denial like needs than an innocent she would give him. Looking up as if his groan surprised her Hazel made a delicate oh of astonishment with her mouth. And Hazel feigned ignorance.

'' There were no more towels….didn't wrinkle your shirt did I….I mean you seem to have so many like it, I didn't think it would be a problem…''

'' No….'' Dean flashed a pained grin.

'' I'll just change in the car….'' and he smiled genuinely, at Hazel's obvious blush.

----------------

'' Dude, what happened to your shirt…'' Sam asked his expression widening like he expected the worse as they got ready to leave.

Dean heaved open the trunk, careful not to press on the broken latch to the arsenal beneath. He grabbed Hazel as she made to go around the side towards the door mouthing the words _Siamese Twins._ Hazel crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue, a move noted briefly by Sam.

'' Did Haze give you a flushy….'' Sam questioned, joining in on the joke.

'' Damnit, where are my black tee's…..?'' Dean demanded, looking at Sam and then Hazel as if they had purposely hid the things.

'' If you would organize that bag a little better….'' Hazel resounded, pushing Dean aside and managing to find one buried beneath a worn pair of jeans, also trying not to breath in the very Dean like scent coming from his bag. It was frickin intoxicating Hazel thought.

'' Hey, I have a system….'' Dean responded, as Hazel tossed him the shirt.

Hazel wanted to look away as Dean removed the offending garment only to be replaced by one of the same. But it was almost like he went out of his way to stand in her eye site. Hazel's fingers twitched to feel the smooth skin of Dean's chest, to make their way around those denim jeans and then to wrap around his neck and play with the soft fuzz at his nape. Instead, Hazel turned toward the lone figure of her bike glinting in the sun.

After the fight her and Dean had about the bike, she'd been forced to leave it behind….Dean had promised just temporarily that a friend of theirs named Bobby would pick it up and keep it safe for her. Hazel felt almost like she was losing a piece of herself. Walking towards the bike she fingered the leather seat pausing on the studs and the bags along the sides.

'' Be good boy….'' Hazel sated, talking to the bike like she always had.

'' I promise I'll see you again soon…'' Hazel paused, it was silly to cry over a bike….but it was more than that, it represented a part of herself….a part she was letting go.

Hazel could feel the eyes of the Winchesters, as she bowed her head and whipped discreetly at the tears.

'' You promise me Winchester…..'' Hazel asked her voice hoarse with unshed tears. Then she felt the hand on her shoulder and the energy that was Dean Winchester trying to comfort her.

Dean seemed to understand, and Hazel realized he probably felt the same way about his car. So, she turned into his arms and let him sooth her. Her bond with her bike and Dean's bond with his car mixed inside their embrace. Hazel sniffed, and tried to inhale deeply but her tears only intensified.

'' It's okay Haze, Winchester will be fine……'' Dean stated. Pulling slightly away Hazel looked at the new wet stain she had left on Dean's clean shirt….and then up into his eyes. Eyes that were too close, too powerful and too acute.

'' Will he though….will Winchester be okay…'' Dean didn't seem to catch her double meaning but answered with a grin.

'' Sweet heart….he's a Winchester….and were made to last…'' Dean looked down at his shirt in mock desperation.

'' Guess, we'll let that one slide….'' And turning with Hazel tucked under his arm they both walked back to the Impala


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay next chapter, this one filled with more back story and probably more questions than answers. It's longer than my usual length but as I was getting ready to post it this morning, I realized the chapter didn't feel finished and since this chapter is leading into some pretty heavy sexual and emotional angst, I felt I needed a good lead in. Already, working on the next chapter in rough sort of way, but hopefully it won't take as long as this one did to smooth out. Shout out to all my reviewers…you know who you are ; P Love LacAnn**

**Chapter fourteen**

**Dark Highway and Haunted Memories**

Dean felt the slow rumble of the Impala's engine over the darkening asphalt of the highway. He knew they would have to pull over soon but couldn't bring himself to wake the sleeping girl just yet. Back at the diner as he watched the girl falling apart over her bike, he'd understood. If someone had ever asked him to part with his baby, his Impala….. Dean would most likely have told them to go to hell.

It was when Dean held her, looking down into her shinning eyes that he saw the first signs of Hazel emerging. She no longer wore the aqua contact lenses, and she'd left her dyed hair to fall naturally strait down her back. And Dean had understood, it wasn't just the bike she was letting go of, but Dahlia all together. So he had stayed silent as the small warrior sobbed continually in the backseat.

Dean hadn't offered any of his wit, or ironic spins on life in the form of movie lines as he usually would have. This was something she was going to have to work through on her own terms and the fact was Dean just wasn't very good at the really emotional stuff….not in the way Hazel would need him to be. And it's not that he wasn't aware of it, hell Hazel probably thought he was a callous jerk for not saying something. But this was not his department and he'd given all he could as he'd held her in the parking lot. And even that made him frickin uncomfortable.

It would do him no good to offer her comfort. Hazel wasn't just shedding some aspect of her personality but a whole person she had felt safety in creating. Dean thought Hazel probably felt as if she were starting right back at square one, powerless and now returning to a place she had been avoiding for a long time. But why, she hadn't really explained….. And that was okay to, in Dean's book, she would with time. So he'd give her just a little more of that because Dean Winchester felt like a storm was just over the horizon. His gut was twisting in all sorts of knots, knots he'd learned to have the sense of hearing.

Besides, they needed the girl sharp, and no matter how Dean felt about the present circumstances, about Hazel's innocent teasing, and her soft redish brown eyes. Or how he felt about the tinge of unchecked erotic burning that made Dean think things he shouldn't be thinking. This was just another job, another few days closer to his Hell Hound deadline. And as hard as Sammy tried to convince them both he would find a way, Dean couldn't help but feel his fate was sealed.

Dean heard the light pressure in the darkening back seat as Hazel turned to face towards him. As if she had been listening in on his thoughts even in her sleep. Dean would never tell the girl about the deal, he could barely say the words to his brother. The fact that he was damned was something you just didn't going around talking about in general terms, and truth be known he couldn't invite her pity on the subject. Dean couldn't imagine what the reaction would be like to see through her eyes. She was too expressive, too open with her emotions. And to have Hazel, the girl witch cry for him…was something Dean Winchester would not allow.

'' She still asleep…'' Dean asked, turning the knob so the sounds of Metallica blended with the engines dull thrum. Sam looked up from the road map, his small flashlight focused on the lines and towns behind them, and the tiny printed names of towns they could stop at.

'' Yeah, she's pretty much out…..'' Sam turned around and then back again, his voice edged in what Dean knew as the _It's time to talk _tone. Dean had felt the tone edging itself up for some time now; they really hadn't had time to talk privately about the circumstances.

'' What, Sammy…'' Dean rolled his eyes, and waited, never leaving the black top before him.

'' Look Hazel…..she ummm…..she's been through allot….'' Sam stared out the window, trying to decide how to bring up the subject, or even if he should. His reflection skewed at an angle the eyebrows already twitching down and into place.

There was just so damn much water under the bridge and Sam wanted Dean to try and be aware of the fact Hazel was probably going to not be okay. That she would probably become even less okay the closer they got to Whiteburn Lane. Because, Sam knew of emotions and memories tied up in the place, but for some reason felt there was more, allot more to the story. Sam felt this in the same way he always knew when something was wrong with Hazel, the same way he always had. Perhaps, it had something to do with the demon blood, and the strong connection they had always shared. But what could he say to Dean? Sam tried again anyway.

'' I feel like taking Hazel back…to where it all started…might trigger something within her….'' Sam turned slightly sideways, trying to judge Dean's reaction. But Dean just smiled.

'' Isn't that the point Sammy…'' and then continued.

'' If this is more physic mumbo jumbo, I am not interested Sam….'' Sam could see Dean's knuckle's bleached against the steering wheel. So he hurried, to speak before Dean turned the music back up and let the highway swallow them once more.

'' No…it's more than that, something happened their……'' Sam twisted away from his reflection towards Dean.

'' What, besides the mortal samba her aunt took below something sharp and pointy…..'' Dean's mouth quirked with his comment, but somehow knew his laughter should be delayed. His brother was working up to something, and he had a feeling it wasn't something to be smiling about.

'' As if that's not bad enough Dean….finding her Aunt in that way-it's not that they were close- besides being the only family Hazel had left….her Aunt was a Bitch Dean….''

'' Come on Sammy, spill it….no bed time stories before tucking her in…..'' Dean questioned.

'' Worse……she ignored her….'' Dean sucked in a breath. That was pretty bad for a young kid to have to deal with after losing her parents. Then to not have anyone, even a sibling to turn to. How would a kid deal with that? Okay Dean, perhaps that's why she made up the extra ego….his mind parroted. Dean suddenly worried getting mixed up in the mess might not be a good idea. But then when had he, Dean Winchester, ever turned down a case? Shit, there were just so many pieces missing.

'' They had to have communicated in some way Sam..'' Sam shook his head before answering.

'' Not much, when Hazel made the effort her aunt went into explaining her radical ideals….in a way that made Hazel feel like she was born flawed…..She made Hazel feel like there was something different in the way she was….you know, put together.''

'' Jesus, her Aunt a nut case with a little bit of zealot and a sprinkle of fanatic in her Wheaties box…..'' Dean quirked a brow, and continued.

'' What kind of a zealot?'' There were many special brands of fanatics, for a girl to grow up with certain abilities, some brands could be dangerous.

'' I believe……or thought it was just Roman Catholic…….But the more I think about it, it's like her Aunt twisted Catholicism altogether, like dark ages type stuff…..There has to be more to the story than Hazel let on….'' Sam's brow furrowed, before he continued.

'' It's like her Aunt was afraid of Hazel…..''

'' Because of the dreams…..'' Dean guessed. Sam choose not to elaborate Dean would probably find out about the rest eventually. And Sam felt it was Hazel's place to tell him, in her own way, just like she had before, with the subject of her name.

'' But I think there's more…..stuff even I don't know….stuff that she may not even feel the impact to until we get their……and the closer we get….'' Sam trailed off and Dean finished for him.

'' The more dangerous things become……'' Dean's grin widened as his anticipation for the fight ahead took hold.

'' Okay then Robin into the Jokers trap we go….'' and Dean floored the pedal. Sam sighed wondering why he was always the sidekick, but choose not to say anything. And Hazel finally settled into a dream….a memory she had forgotten the details to long ago.

------------------------------

(Hazel's Memory in Dream state)

_The shadow of the tiffany lamp streaked a pattern across the worn hotel stationary while Hazel squinted at the faded paper, another hotel name, another letter. The writing was familiar and made her want to hug the delicate inclines of dark scrawl like the memories that felt too old and faded now to think about. But Hazel did and the boy who would soon be a man was still significant in her adolescent world, because Hazel refused to let go of his memory. Or the memory of his brother and their secrete kiss. Hazel and Sam still kept in touch. Even when knowing each other had been only a matter of months, their bond was important to her. _

_Hazel kept her sweetest smile reserved for Sam and the memories of their small time together tightly bound….Sam's friendship had been Hazel's furtive wish. Well kept-like a secret because he might as well of never been here at all. Sam and Dean were like shadows and she understood this. She understood his abrupt leaving, and that it had nothing to do with her. But there were something's Hazel didn't understand as well, such as what had really happened to his mother. Or why Dean had always looked at Hazel as if she were somehow responsible. _

_But the bad was forgotten because Sam's letters were always full of intrigue, as if their combined efforts to remember each other brought a little excitement through the words. And Hazel's exceedingly dull existence, alongside the letters, was like the side dish never tasted. Since, Sam's correspondence's reminded Hazel of her existence and made her feel important, she always looked forward to their arrival. _

_The vanity table was where Hazel always read his letters and now looking back at her image in the mirror, she imagined Sam Winchester beside her. Sam's tall and willowy frame that was awkward with new adolescent height…..as if he didn't quite know yet how to place his limbs gracefully. Beside, him of course would stand Dean, his eyes disapproving even in fantasy. The same eyes that still haunted Hazel's dreams, eyes clustered with bright green and heavy lashed. Dean's eyes were languid eyes, which sometimes filled with so much emotion, that Hazel seemed to cave inward, and expand outward all at once. _

_Above Hazel, the mixed rain caught the roof at a slant- slipping through the tiles and filling the rusted rain gutter that was already crammed with different hues of leafs. Also, trickling specks of drops and dots matted the house's exterior congealing on the windows, as the shinning streetlamps clung to the mirage. Inside Hazel's room, the high Victorian ceilings should have made the atmosphere seem drafty. But the fire in the grate and the letter in her hands left her with a pleasant feeling. _

_Hazel had tied her hair away from her face, letting the bright shine of her eyes show through hair that was a tawny chestnut color and gleamed around golden skin. Hazel liked the way her obsidian pentacle caught the different strands of color in her hair, it was almost like an extension of her and she felt like Sam had been thinking of this when he made it._

_Lost in memories of the only friend she'd ever had the noises coming from above in her aunt's chambers didn't seem too important, at first. Hazel was used to living in a residence that always seemed more like a mausoleum or a museum- to listen for every distant creek or groan. When she was a child and had come to live after her parent's accident, the house had felt more haunted and barren than kind. But the old debutant had grown on her, and for some reason it felt more akin to a friend now than the unknown. Hazel saw the house as she saw herself, something that might once have been great, left to whither, left forgotten. _

_Hazel should have hated her aunt Meredith Whitecomb for this very reason but the emotions behind her aunts crumbled smile, and the emotion left unspoken between them, made it easy to excuse the actions of her aunt. Her aunt had never been loved either by family or man, the responsibly as the eldest falling to keeping a proper line of respect for the family name….and by the time she had finished raising Hazel's mom Meredith had felt too old to try any longer. Her ways of distancing herself in order to keep_ _the fortune and name above level had become habit; and she no longer knew how to feel close to anyone. But there was something else as well…something Hazel didn't feel as often but was like a dull throb underlying her aunt's thoughts-it was faint and puzzling. It was fear Hazel saw in her aunts eyes…when she thought Hazel was turned away or not paying attention._

_The only reason Hazel could come up with for her Aunt Meredith to be afraid of her was Hazel's gift, or curse depending on how you wanted to look at it. Hazel's parents had always nurtured her empath abilities and had never made her feel unwanted, or unwelcome in sharing them….thinking as a child that this was the way she would be welcomed by her aunt, in childlike naivety , Hazel made the mistake of asking about her Aunts thoughts. _

_Hazel was so terribly lonely, that when she realized her aunt felt the same, she had spoken without reservation. It was right after her parent's funeral and Hazel sat still in her black ruffled dress, her hands folded and eyes cast down. She was picking up on the energy vibrations of the room around her as she always had…not intentionally but scared for her future. Hazel though she might find comfort in her aunts motives, because she felt so lost._

_She was in the chair in the parlor, pretty with a pink cushion yet sharp and uncomfortable on a little girl's legs. But Hazel didn't complain she wanted so to make her aunt see how agreeable she could be. And she had noticed during the funeral how stiff and regal her aunt had seemed. Hazel thought that if that was what it took to get her aunts approval she would behave the same. _

_Hazel's aunt was pouring brandy from a crystal decanter and for the first time they were left alone. Hazel noticed the way Aunt Meredith felt all nervous and fluttering, the shaking of her hands like tiny vibrations that screamed with silent panic. Hazel wanted badly even in her own pain to ease her Aunts agitation; they were going to be family after all. So, Hazel had jumped on the first available thing that they seemed to have in common and made the most terrible mistake, separating them instead of allying them. _

'' _I know you fraid Aunt Meredith, it's not you fault, I'll try hard to be quiet….''The thing Hazel's Aunt had been thinking all the while. Thinking about the way Hazels mom had been a handful to take care of…She seemed to blame her mom for taking her life- something young Hazel couldn't grasp, or she might not have said what she did._

_And her Aunt Meredith had looked at Hazel in horror, as if she were seeing her for the first time, as if Hazel was a monster. Her Aunt's back stiffened archly all her emotions sucking in towards a cold dot at her center, a dark icy place that frightened Hazel with its intensity. Hazel had never felt anything so deep and boiling all of her eight years from anyone, it was like an infested wound. And Hazel had managed to reopen it, letting loose a scourge of bitterness._

'' _Just aunt is fine…..your room is the first on the left at the top of the staircase….. There you can rest until supper. We eat at six exactly…be on time or don't come at all…I'm going to my chambers… never disturb me there.'' Then her back was turned again as if she was dismissing a servant and Hazel realized she might as well be-Hazel was alone. _

_Over the years Hazel had hoped her Aunt would warm up to her but every inch she thought she gained was always followed closely by a steep decline and her Aunts drinking would flare up again. Hazel knew it was linked to her presence but her Aunt never said so directly even though it always felt so personal. It was when her aunt was drinking that Hazel saw the other side of things, felt the self loathing, felt sorry for her. Some nights it was so bad Hazel would help her Aunt to bed but was never allowed inside the room. To this day Hazel didn't know what lie beyond that thick cherry door. _

_A loud clash of thunder outlined the half sheathed windows onto the dark wood floor, startling Hazel out of the past. She whipped at the thin line of tears which had gathered silently beneath her eyes, and cocked her head for the last echoes that rattled the silver trinkets sitting atop her mantle. Something felt wrong but she couldn't place it. The lean presence of her Aunt Meredith was in her chambers above, her energy had grown so fine and faint lately, it was as if all the vitality….even though there had never been much….had grown even more taunt, stretching itself so thin her Aunt barely felt like a person at all anymore. _

_But there was other energy here as well…a presence that sent Hazel's mind into alarm. It wasn't an animal because the energy of animals was always easy to discern from people….An animal's energy was softer, less driven, and much simpler….they lived to survive. But in some weird way this energy felt more like an animal than human….but nothing like that at all. Perhaps, it was the storm confusing Hazel's perception's….but a small fissure of fear pressed her beating heart and she jumped suddenly to her feet. Nearly tumbling over her silk gown, one of the delicacies she allowed herself when indulging in Sam's letters and the tiny chocolates went flying, like small bombs of melting nougat and caramel. Then another clap, louder as if the clouds were coming down on top of the estate and everything went dark._

_Hazel's panicked mind was whirling yet she was able to take stock of a few things, her emotions keeping her perceptions scattered but still usable. The first and most important awareness came as a shock even the second time….there was something else here. Her question of what that __**it**__ was- was more frightening than if it had been just a prowler. Second thing and even more frightening the sounds from above in her aunt's chambers were louder and she could feel the edge of her aunt's thoughts. _

_Sometimes, when people's emotions are strong enough it came out clearly and very obvious. Hazel's aunt was scared, mortally so, of something and her fear came out in a sentence inside Hazel's head, so loud Hazel wanted to curl sobbing into the Persian rug at the foot of her bed. _

'' _I was responsible for that brat…..and for that I die.'' It was like a question and statement all wrapped in one horrible sentence. It was obvious who her aunt was thinking about, and it hurt to know after seven years Meredith still saw her as only a burden…..But what the hell did Hazel have to do with whatever was taking place upstairs? _

_The final crack to the floor left not much doubt, it could've been a gunshot, or a blunt object drowned by the thunder as it was……..but ignoring the obvious Hazel knew no matter how scared she was she would have to see for herself. She felt little obligation to her Aunt Meredith…but it was obligation no matter the feelings between them. She swallowed her growing dread, her heart hiding in her throat…. she wished she could do the same. Then Hazel saw Sam's face, Dean's eyes, and it gave her that extra_ _shove. Neither brother would ever back down, he would face his fear head-on. Because, she owed her Aunt that much, running like a chicken when her Aunt might need an ambulance was the cowardly thing to do. And Hazel would never forgive herself if she did._

_Hazel wiggled carefully a few feet, forcing her legs to obey because who knew how much time she really had. But the gown was hampering her progress and in a fit of frustration she ripped it over her head and stood almost naked in her undergarments. Hazel didn't care…time was what mattered now. Then groping in the dark for what she knew would be sitting atop her vanity…something conveniently fitted with a handle, she felt the hilt with triumph. _

_She held the antique ivory mirror up in victory the smudged glass reflecting in the next clap of thunder. Hazel thought she probably looked like a maniac- mostly naked and holding a firm grip on a relic of the past, like the statue of liberty without her robes. But the mirror would work well if needed to pummel any unsuspecting danger, she just hoped her hand would hold steady enough to use it. _

_Hazel's next thought was a flash light but would that be the wise choice in trying to keep a low profile…..since when had high school juniors had to think such thoughts anyway….was this how the Winchesters lived all the time? Somehow, it had seemed more exciting in her daydreams. Just buckle up, she thought to herself….stay in the moment and try to be calm. _

_The darkness should have felt safe as she edged out into the corridor -like a shroud- but ended up feeling smothering instead. Hazel was aware now that there were many figures above her…all indistinguishable from each other, like a swarm of bees. Panic set in when Hazel realized her aunts thin energy was not one of them, in fact she couldn't feel her Aunt's life force anywhere on the property grounds. _

_Hazel prayed she had somehow fled, after all there were many hidden passages throughout the walls, and she was sure she hadn't found them all yet. It was strange that an attachment so meager should develop between them just enough for Hazel to care. Her Aunt Meredith could just as easily of sent Hazel to foster care, or some boarding school. _

_It was just that her aunt had lacked the social skill or grace to welcome a young girl into her life…alone for so long….her Aunts feelings became dormant, but their dormancy was not one of short hibernation but one of a more permanent nature. Or perhaps, her aunt had felt too keenly her eyes always brimming with something when she looked at Hazel, but never fondness. Gripping the mirror more tightly she made her way through the charged darkness, ready for confrontation._

_The back stair case had been used in servant times and was narrow and even darker then the shadows around….but one twist of the ironic title ''Roots'' and Hazel was up and through the stairwell. She had played here often as a child, bringing her cloth dollies for comfort…..the ones she'd made for company-their button eyes would stair up at her seamlessly, stitched smiles worn yet full of life she envisioned. Together they would go on adventures imagining the staircase led to some grand castle turret, or Brazilian ruins. Hazel's footsteps were certain up this passageway, no matter the darkness that circled and threatened to strangle her resolve, she would go on. _

_Hazel came out top side in the upstairs library, the many crooked shapes of bookshelves and end tables barely outlined in the dark. The smell of dusty volumes comforting in the way old things can be. Luckily, her navigation was tempered down by years of usage and even through the panic that threatened to choke her; she managed to keep a decent pace. _

_Hazel crept lightly around the Goddess Airtimes' smooth dark bust, and beyond the editions worth thousands and never used. This was the secret library..the one not shown to guests only talked about in stories to push forward opinions. Old family money they called it…as if the library were a step above common people, she hated the snobbisms of her family name. Oscar Wild propped against Keats and Mary Shelly followed closely by Emily Bronte like a sober proprietor to unfulfilled romance….they had been Hazels favorites…all of them because the difference between Tarzan and Wuthering Heights was not in context but imagined experience. And Hazel wanted to experience it all…..to experience everything except for being who she was. _

_Hazel choose this moment to gather her determination, one hand placed over Descartes' and the other shaking at her side, mirror heavy like lead on her shoulder muscle….she remembered that breathing deeply and slowly she might calm her anxiety. But the thunder through the stained glass flickered and scattered her nerves. What the hell was she doing anyway she wondered, playing Shera Princess Power, what exactly did she expect from this situation? _

_Hazel didn't know….sure it was easy to pretend, to fake some kind of ideal bravery but wasn't it foolish also? _

_A religious painting of Christ on the cross stood adjacent Hazel, the outline on the crown and of the thorns poking her mind. As a child she had stared for hours at the work, trying to understand her aunts own pious views. Hours of studying minute details like the line of crimson following a trail beneath the thorns, and Christ's eyes so bottomless that Hazel couldn't help but feel she was falling in, even in the dusk._

_It was like always being watched and the eerie sensation prickled her skin. It was too much like a reminder of guilt, a reminder of all the guilt her Aunts constant prompting, promised Hazel she should feel. Hazel didn't think she had been born into sin, she couldn't imagine a beautiful wide eyed baby being evil. If she had been religious the picture would give her strength. But as things stood it only increased the hopeless feeling Hazel was trying to ignore. She would put her faith in something more substantial something solid and tangible……the heavy mirror she held close to her chest. _

_Hazel reached out into the darkness with her gift, wishing the stillness she was now picking up on would give her more to work with…….but somehow although the presence was still their it seemed like it was now cloaking its existence…..forcibly pushing her probing mind away. The tentacles of Hazel's gift recoiled, and for the first of many times she wished she could switch it off_

----------------------

Hazel awoke with a start, nearly falling off the back seat of the Impala. She knew what was next in the dream and she didn't feel like reliving the scene of her aunt's death. The recollection was years ago and now the way that it played in her mind, as if she was reliving it was disturbing. It made Hazel wonder if there was some connection in the dream she was missing. Bolting up in agitation that suddenly it should seem more important, when she had always tried to escape the remembrance; Hazel stared wide awake, sleepy eyed and hair tousled at the brothers; whom now were both looking startled in her direction.

'' Bad dream…'' she mumbled in explanation.

'' Not Mc Creepy bartender again..'' Dean asked, leveling her with his darkened gaze yet still able to keep the car in a steady line across the now darkened black top.

'' No, just a memory…'' Hazel responded reluctant to share the details. Sam reached for her in the dark, catching the stray tear which had escaped Hazel's notice.

'' Something we should talk about….'' Sam questioned his concern evident in the flattening line of his brows over his emotion filled eyes.

'' Not yet….'' she answered, giving him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

She could feel Dean's frustration and see it in the taunt line of his neck and shoulders. Not thinking about it she reached out with her gift, and eased at the red throbbing ache between the blades. He would drive on if he could she realized. But he seemed to understand the need for her to stop and gather herself before returning home. This realization surprised Hazel, the idea that he cared enough to be taking mental notes was comforting at the same time as being worrisome.

'' It's okay Dean….I just need some time. How soon till we reach the motel, and what time is it anyway…?'' Hazel rubbed at her tired eyes and cramped muscles.

'' What makes you think we won't drive strait through…..'' Dean questioned, even though he'd already decided against it.

Hazel chose to take the brunt of this comment and found herself glad she could lose her thoughts in their bantering. She wondered if the move was planned by Dean, if he thought things out stragically that way with everything. Wouldn't planning every move and thought become a burden, Hazel considered? He wouldn't be doing it for himself dumb-ass, the voice snidely remarked in her head. Then continued like it would make itself at home whether she liked it or not. Dean doesn't do anything for just himself, remember the self loathing you felt? It wasn't uncommon to be hearing a voice, common sense or whatever you wanted to call it, reminded Hazel allot of Dahlia.

'' Because, your neck is stiff and so is mine…'' Hazel answered, the fact she was even thinking about him gave Dean pause, as she rubbed at her joints and neck.

'' You don't think I could drive strait through….'' he finally stated, after a long moment.

'' Of course you could you stubborn ass man…..'' Hazel responded.

'' So what, you care now….'' Dean always had a way with words, no beating round things for him. And Hazel answered honestly, a wry twist to her mouth just enough for him to wonder if she were joking.

'' Of course I care Dean…….I always have….'' and she plopped back into her seat, wondering whether Dean would hear the truth in her voice.

'' We'll stop in the next town for the night….but after that we drive strait through…'' Hazel could see in the review mirror that he meant it. And she knew he was right; there was no time to wallow in old thoughts….no time to run from herself. She couldn't take the chance of the enemy/enemies catching on to the plan.

Nope, no matter the truth or her future she felt it was all somehow connected. Why Hazel felt no relief in the idea astonished her. But then perhaps there was an end to it all after all. Suddenly the looming possibilities scattered before her. Hazel had never been normal and it was time to find out just why things were the way they were.

Hazel suddenly wished she had a Winchester to hug to her, and to help her realize things were going to be okay. But my, what a silly thought when she had no idea herself how things would turn out. She looked up just long enough for her eyes and Dean's to connect through the review mirror. And Hazel wondered what he saw that made him turn away so quickly; In fact, he always seemed to turn away from her gaze when it locked with his-unless they were arguing.

Indulging, in a little fantasy as they pulled into the motel Hazel imagined what it felt like to be beneath Dean, to have him moving above her and his eyes locked into hers. During sex would Dean Winchester finally give all of himself? Hazel thought that he just might, and she smiled to herself as she climbed from the backseat. Looking up she found herself indulgent grin to boyish smirk.

'' I know what that grin means Glenda…….'' Dean stated.

'' Oh yeah, so why don't you tell me……'' Hazel crossed her arms and waited for Dean's reply.

'' Prince charming and plenty of four-play……..'' His smile widened, when he saw her face redden. Hazel grabbed her bag from his offered stance, smiling through her embarrassment because he had just referred to himself as prince charming. Dean didn't know that though.

'' Funny how charming a prince can be in your thoughts, and then become the toad in reality…..'' Hazel threw that bit of information at him and made a dash for the room. Point one, she thought-goes to the girl with the gratuitous imagination.

'' Dude, I think your girl friend just hit on me…'' Dean stated to Sam throwing the green duffle his way.

'' Oh yeah, you just now recognize the signs…..I'm surprised Dean consummate flirt like yourself…..'' Sam turned with the bag, sarcasm in his tone and manner, trying to get as far as possible away from this conversation.

'' You don't mind Sammy….kinda your girl….'' Dean yelled after him.

'' She's never been mine Dean…'' and with that closing statement Sam heaved in through the door, away from his brothers questions, and away from the dangerous situation which might spark from those questions- Dean yearning for Hazel.


	15. Chapter 15

**Yay, another chapter-this one is mostly filler, emotional and sexual angst….oh and I do have to admit perhaps I went a little far in some places comedy wise….but I enjoyed it-so hopefully everyone else will also. If not oh well….please review….sometimes it's like pullin teeth out here. Happy breeding plot bunnies to all who also write. Love, LacAnn **

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Languid Eyes and Snapping Bra Straps**

Hazel was setting up her shower bag in the bathroom when Sam barged in through the door, locking it quickly behind him. She turned startled at the interruption, she was a little jumpy still after the shower incident and stared back surprised at a very disheveled looking Sam. Running his hands through his hair he looked worried and slightly grumpy.

'' What is it Sam, I was getting ready to shower….Is it your turn to keep watch or something…'' Hazel was feeling indignant, at the very idea that her only private time left was now also going to be monitored.

But the look in Sam's eyes told her it had nothing to do with the whole shower watch-dog scenario and when he grabbed at her arm and tilted her chin upwards, she felt a churning within him. He had emotions stacked high upon other emotions, emotions piggy backing and feeding off of darker emotions. But at the very core of one of the largest for the moment- was his worry for her and just around that her response and feelings towards his brother. Hazel didn't have time to respond before being interrupted.

'' Hey, what are you guys doing in their……I don't want any more secretes….'' Dean's voice came through the door loud and belligerent, he was feeling left out again. But it was Dean's next thought that brought it all full circle to Hazel.

_He says they're not together, and then barricades her in the bathroom…..wish I would have thought of that….._

Hazel couldn't help the stray giggle which was quickly stifled by Sam's quelling look of disapproval. Out of all the things to be worried about right now, Sam her warrior, was worried about her and Dean and a little harmless flirting.

'' Sorry Sam….it's just were on the run for our lives….and you act as if me and Dean are going to just throw caution, feelings, and all logic aside for a quickie…..'' Hazel crossed her arms, trying to sound sober and not exasperated at the idea.

'' I know how you feel about him Haze..'' Sam intoned, using those puppy dog eyes of his to unarm her anger for even bringing the subject up.

'' No, you don't….not totally…..besides when the hell did discussing this become a good idea..'' Hazel looked back at him, wishing for the entire world it had been Sam she'd fallen in love with.

'' Since, Dean has started to look at you as fair game…'' Hazel stopped; surprised Dean would even consider it.

'' I think you are imagining things Sam…..besides we both know if Dean wants me it's just on a hormonal level…..'' Sam interrupted her.

'' I'm not so sure Haze…'' Putting his long arms down and around her shoulders, he sounded sad.

'' But I'm not sure he's capable of anything else, and you need forever….not just a for-now..'' Sam added. Hazel was touched he held her in such high regard, and she wondered-but where was Dean's forever. Hazel ran her hands up Sam's back and laid her head on his chest where she could hear his heart beat. Hazel thought about the idea of Dean in hell, and held Sam tighter. Trying to squeeze the idea from both of their thoughts, she hadn't even told Sam that she knew yet.

''Sam I……'' Hazel began.

'' Hey, I don't hear any water running…..think you two could at least let me in on the _talk _you are having…'' Dean again, this time his voice coming close enough from the other side of the door, it seemed obvious he had his ear pressed against the wood.

Shit, Hazel thought, first they might as well take care of this. Besides, she wasn't really sure she was too keen on hearing the specifics on why or how Dean was going to Hell, and the _when_ he was going was something she wasn't sure she wanted to discuss at all. The idea already had a pit the size of her fist darkening on her own soul. How did someone live with that on their mind all of the time?

'' Yes….lets clear the air, that way we can at least set some things strait…'' Hazel went for the door, for a second worried Sam might move to stop her. Instead, he looked defeated as if the force of Hazel's and Dean's will was too much to try and carry.

The door swung wide, Sam shuffled his shoes against the tiles of the bathroom floor and focused on his huge feet like a boy about to get scolded. Hazel smiled and Dean stood hands in pockets rocking on his heals like he hadn't a care in the world. Dean was good at masking, too bad Hazel could feel his emotions, his desire so strongly that he might as well of been standing their shirtless with a long necked beer, blazingly appraising her with those soulful languid eyes of his. Perhaps, this hadn't been such a good idea. _You know you want him why don't you just admit it and give into your inhibitions _that damn voice in Hazels head insisted. Hazel swallowed, readying herself to be as good at masking her true feelings as Dean was.

'' Hazel….let me..'' Sam spoke, passing from behind her to stand between her awesome view of his brother and to cap off any wanton thoughts.

'' I don't want any funny business between you two…'' Sam stated this flatly, and when they both started in to disagree anything out of the ordinary was going on, Sam interrupted.

'' We have a job to do, and when you two aren't fighting….your flirting…''

'' Nothing wrong with harmless flirting Sammy..'' Dean opened his palms, Sam disagreed.

'' There is more than harmless flirting going on here….I know you both better than anyone, you seem to forget this…..Hazel care to elaborate…..care to tell Dean how you really feel about him….'' Sam looked her way, and Hazel felt naked. What would be the point in telling Dean….so much of it was ancient history.

Hazel peered around Sam's tall and solid frame at Dean who seemed to be waiting for her answer; in fact he looked about as surprised as Hazel felt at Sam's unexpected bomb shell. Hazel thought about it…tell Dean she'd loved him since the first time she eyed him in the corridor at school when he'd stopped to pick up the pretty brunets books and then given the girl one of his many variations of his heart stopping smile. Tell Dean the way she couldn't even acknowledge the way she felt until it was too late. Tell Dean that she had secretly been dreaming of their shared kiss, and how she'd felt after he'd rejected her. She couldn't possibly….Sam was right it could only be trouble if her and Dean….if her and Dean…..He'd leave like he always did, and she would be left holding her heart in her hand again.

'' No…'' Hazel whispered, ducking her head to avoid any errant emotions. Hazel turned back towards the bathroom….the truth was she really did want to tell Dean, to let the cards fall where they may. But it was irresponsible and somebody would get hurt in the end. Hazel felt Sam's hand on her shoulder and wanted to turn away from it, to reject his offer of compassion. But what was the point Sam was right; her love for Dean would just have to remain as it was.

Hazel shut the bathroom door half expecting a fight but all she got was Sam's voice.

'' Keep the door unlocked Haze….just to be safe..'' Hazel kicked the door and growled, resulting in a snicker from Dean on the other side.

'' Might want to sleep with one eye open tonight, little brother…'' Dean stated, sauntering off to set up the room for a protective night's sleep. What a little hell-cat his witch was turning out to be, Dean thought, and chuckled louder.

'' It's not funny Dean….I feel like I am trying to keep two dogs in heat from humping each other…'' Sam stated.

'' No Sammy, I think Hazel is more like a cat, soft and pretty to touch-but claws that could rip a man to shreds…'' Dean said this with a wistful look as if the idea held some appeal.

'' I mean it Dean…..no screwing around….Hazel deserves better..''

'' Better than Dean Winchester…..Sammy there isn't….'' Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes.

'' Besides, can I help it if she comes to me……''

'' Dean….'' A warning glare from Sam had Dean in a fresh round of laughter.

-------------------------------------------

Hazel was bent over her bag. The garish green couch with the cornice looking print the place she had set the rest of her bag, and the most likely place she would end up sleeping. She rifled through the folded piles trying to find that darn scrunchy which kept seeming to disappear. It was then she felt Dean's energy, so strongly burning behind her bent over form- that he might as well of been fit snuggly in the delicate vee between her thighs. In fact, she wasn't sure which one of them was actually enjoying the idea more.

A red blush crept up her body as she battled the urge to back right into him and take the position they both seemed to be craving. Hazel shivered slightly at the thought and then stood straight, denying herself even the smallest pleasure. But she stood still, her emotions felt like they were dueling with his, and damnit why did he have this effect on her?

She felt the energy strengthen, building towards some sexual atomic explosion, she couldn't let happen. And now Dean was coming even closer, and Sam was absent. The running of the water their but faded enough to let Hazel know just where Sam's helpful logic was. It was like Dean had waited for just such a moment, approaching her when he knew she would feel most keenly the intimacy of their situation. Dean was so close now that she could not only feel his raw desire, but could also catch pieces of his thoughts.

_rounded curves……fit perfectly……if only…… flicking my tongue as it slid down…..God, just the idea and I'm getting hard……I need to…_

Hazel sighed, long and suffering her limbs shaking as she stood just inches from that part of him, every part of him. She was caught in this web- so stricken by the force of everything Dean Winchester, she felt alive, and unyielding all at once. It made her wonder if time was moving forward, or if she was standing still.

Dean bent closer, wanting to smell her…..hell he wanted a hell of a lot more than that. But he would never take her; he'd wait for her resistance to crumble. In fact, he could smell it crumbling at just his approach. He spoke then, deeply and slowly into her ear, his chest barely grazing her back.

'' Looking for something….'' the hair band was twisting in his hand….he'd been slowly taking each one until now when she only had one left. Dean didn't want to see her hair bound tight, he wanted it loose and flowing. He wanted to feel it running between his thumb and forefinger, to see it layered out against the pillow beneath him. What would she look like in those final moments of ecstasy, what would she taste like?

He could feel the tremble in her that seemed to shimmer in the air around them. Dean was baiting Hazel because fighting was better than not speaking at all, and sometimes anger set flames to other things. She turned, eyes going to his, assessing his manor, her own eyes going wide. And then she saw the hair band he held, her hair band.

Hazel couldn't believe it, even as the feeling of his warm breath on her neck was fading, Dean had her hair band. Dean was purposely trying to make her angry, and why? Well hell, she welcomed the break from the tension that had held her so firmly in her imagination. She kind of wished she could wipe the smirk from his handsome face by telling him '' all he had to do was back into her bent form, fitting himself where he had been thinking…if he wanted her so badly ''. If he took her could she deny him….Hazel didn't think that she could.

But that would ruin her secret, if he knew she heard his thoughts, felt his feelings, and had observed at times memories he'd probably wanted to forget himself……it was like an invasion of privacy. Hazel knew she would have to tell him eventually, but the longer she waited the more betrayed by her he would feel. So Hazel did the opposite of what Dean wanted from her, she took her passion and tightly reined it in.

'' Why thank you Dean…'' Hazel smiled brightly, grabbing the hair implement and wrapping her hair. Then she hugged him, not the _I want to have your baby _type of hug-but the plutonic kind, ignoring the obvious length of his thoughts as it rested a little below her belly button. She pulled back, enjoying the surprise on his face, and just to push it a little further stated.

'' Wow…'' she glanced down, feigning innocence.

'' You should probably take care of that…'' she motioned to Dean's arousal and turned back around to finish unpacking.

Dean couldn't believe it….had he imagined her encouragement. If Hazel thought Dean would give in so easily she was wrong….He'd been playing _this_ type of game practically his whole life. Okay, so maybe it was a bad idea, but considering he was full on going to hell in a matter of months, what difference did it make? If she thought she'd seen the extinct of his willpower Hazel was wrong. Alright, my feisty hellcat game on, Dean thought to himself.

-------------------------------

'' You were naked…?'' Dean's head suddenly appeared around the bathroom doorway, his toothbrush held firmly in his mouth, it was a wonder he could talk at all.

Hazel had been recapping the dream to Sam, Dean had just finished his shower and she hadn't even thought he'd been listening. Until, she'd started in on the way she had lifted her gown up over her head to make smoother progress in the dark…she'd been trying not to leave out any details, feeling that something she was missing was important. She was hoping one of the brothers would catch it.

'' No, I had on my underwear and bra Dean…'' Hazel turned towards him, and Dean smiled…the frothy foam dripping from his lips.

'' Just making sure all the details are in place….you'd be surprised what one piece of information can mean on a case….'' He turned and then spit. Coming into all his full and magnificent shirtless glory, damp from his shower with hair sticking out in places, then grabbing a beer Dean leaned back on the table….Hazel stopped mid sentence, as he crossed his legs where he leaned and took one long swig. Mother Mary, it was a sin for such a well made man to even exist. She hadn't even realized she had stopped and was now staring, until Sam said her name.

'' Oh, right…..just lost my place..'' Hazel replied. Dean had the audacity to wink and grin; he'd noticed her preoccupation with him.

'' Please, go on….don't let _me_ distract you Hazel…'' At which point Hazel was scrunching her fists tightly and wishing for a pillow to throw, or anything for that matter. Dean was damned determined to stir her ire.

But although they went over the dream, in detail-several times….the guys were just as puzzled as Hazel.

'' So….let me see if I got this, the lights went out after you heard a commotion, in your aunts room, and you decided the best thing to do was to go bleached white by the moonlight to rescue her with a hand mirror..?'' Dean and Sam both looked incredulous at the idea.

'' I wasn't thinking as much as I was feeling…'' Hazel defended.

'' And you were feeling….'' Dean came closer rolling his eyes towards her, the scent of his bath and body wafting in front of Hazel and making her want to bury her nose in the concave of his neck.

'' like going Barbarella was the way to go…..'' Dean finished, he sounded mad and Hazel couldn't understand why.

'' I couldn't just let her get hurt, Dean.''

'' Oh right and there was no phone….'' Dean stated, coming close enough so that Hazel didn't have to stick her nose on him to smell him, and giving her one of those patterned Dean Winchester disapproval looks.

Hazel glared right back, what did Dean expect from her? She couldn't tell him the reason she was in such a hurry was that she could no longer feel her aunt's life force. Putting her hands on her hips she gave him back everything she could, she was hoping to whither him. But Dean had faced down scarier things than her in his lifetime.

'' I did what I felt was right Dean Winchester…..I wasn't concerned for my safety….only hers…'' Hazel stalked past Dean, her anger that he would even question her, boiling.

'' Hazel…'' Dean said after her retreating back, his tone filled with something she couldn't comprehend. Was it fear that she felt, it couldn't be, what would he be scared about? And then it hit her like a mackerel upside the head. Dean Winchester was scared _for her_. It was a feeling so alien to Hazel that it stopped her and made her turn. Dean's back was still facing her, and beyond Dean was Sam who had a sad, I told you so, look on his face. Hazel's eyes were wide, how had Dean gone from hating her abilities to caring enough to be scared, the idea made Hazel's heart squeeze inside her chest. And the man she loved was going to hell.

'' Okay Dean, '' Hazel stated, laying her fingers on his slightly damp back, she jumped when she felt that little electrical current that seemed to flow between them fizzle up a little at the contact.

'' You win….I wasn't thinking….it was stupid, it was also a long time ago..I'd never..'' she started.

'' No you would, because that's just the kind of person you are….'' Dean turned, his eyes coming up from whatever storm they'd been in while she wasn't looking.

'' We'll Barbarella, think it might be a bumpier ride than we thought….I'll let you know when you are about to do something stupid…'' And with that closing statement Dean left Hazel with her jaw open, if only she could've been quick enough to slap him upside the head. Hazel smiled to herself….and Dean Winchester was still a basterd, too bad he was such an adorable one.

(Dream state Hazel)

_Hazel stood along a lone beach, her hair no longer the blonde of waking life but the hazel color it had been during childhood. It caught in the sunlight as it blew around her, shinning like strands of honey. The ocean was beautiful a pure aqua color with sand so white it almost hurt to look at. She felt like she was looking for something, but felt like that something was no longer here. _

'' _Does it not scare you…..daughter of man…'' Hazel turned towards the voice, taking everything she was going through or had gone through out on him. _

'' _My name is Hazel, why don't you tell me yours….'' He lounged on the smooth surface of grey stone, which had suddenly cropped up behind her, his leg at an odd angle so she could practically see everything he had to offer under his(sheep-skin….she suddenly thought but didn't know why) loin cloth. _

'' _What are you playing Tarzan for all of the sudden….that thing is huge….I must really need some to be dreaming of phalluses that large…'' The thought came out of Hazel's mouth before she could stop it and the huge man/bartender/thing threw his head back and laughed._

'' _Esmeray, you are as brazen as ever, you act as if you have never seen my…. phallus…..as you called it…'' Hazel fumed silently. _

'' _So is this a ghost of Christmas past thing or what….''She asked, if only he would give her more info._

'' _And next time don't you think you could be a little more subtle than washing me in blood….'' Hazel started toward the man realizing as she neared him how huge he really was._

'' _What you search for is no longer here….'' he stated his golden eyes narrowing at her approach as if he was afraid she might be trying to trap him in some way. _

'' _But I don't even know what I am looking for…..'' she protested as he rose. _

_Christ sake the guy had to have been almost a foot above Sam, Hazel gulped back her fear, but stood her ground. His hand came out and he pulled at a lock of her hair, his knuckles grazing her cheek and she heard something coming off of the skin, as if his hand was a shell. It was a whispering, a faint chorus of voices-they seemed to be humming, or singing, some talked while others rose higher. Hazel couldn't help herself from leaning in closer to listen. But the man pulled back smiling sadly into her eyes._

'' _So you can still hear them daughter of man……they haunt me also….this is a good sign….I will leave you with a gift, and some words….'' He stated waving a hand dismissively over her locks then smiling._

'' _Now you are closer to your true self……'' Hazel didn't see any difference, even when she gazed in the surface of the clear water. And he laughed from behind her. _

'' _Wait till you awake dear heart, and don't forget to search in the room kept locked…things will come back……'' and suddenly Hazel was sitting up off the couch and then racing to the bathroom._

Bursting through the bathroom door, Hazel blinked as she turned on the light, squelching her eyes and muttering a few oaths. As her vision cleared it was obvious what _gift_ he had given Hazel, and just the idea of such a thing being possible shocked her into silence. Looking back at her from the bathroom mirror was Hazel, there was no trace of Dahlia left, not the surgery, not the contacts, not even the skin bleaching or the breast reduction….God she had forgotten how large these things were. Playing with them like a woman with a new discovery might, she jiggled them, bounced them, and glanced down her shirt.

'' Oh, boy….'' she thought out loud, the fabric of her used to be form fitting t-shirt now stretched to its limits.

'' I feel like Tom Hanks in the movie Big..'' she stated, still shocked and not sure how to take any of this. But the weirdest thing, besides the D-cup's….was her hair, it was no longer blonde.

'' Who the fu….'' Dean stood at the door, rubbing his eyes and staring at her.

'' Hi Dean……'' Hazel started, as he came forward, touching her hair noticing her light freckles, and then his gaze rested on her chest.

Snap! Apparently, this type of bra material wasn't meant to expand a whole size unexpectedly. The bra collapsed inward snapping and peeling at the seams until it lay in pieces on the floor. Dean watching and listening to its progress with wide eyes, when finally the bra lay at her feet….his eyes shot back upwards to the full one size bigger breasts that now in her flushed embarrassment stood out sensitive to his eyes, and engorged against the fabric. It should have been funny, and might have if anyone other than Dean was standing their witnessing the unnatural, or back to natural growth of Hazel's breast suddenly puckering under his heated look.

'' Hazel…..'' Dean asked, finally looking up towards her face, half a smile, and a dangerous languid stare bringing the situation into full sharp focus around her.

'' Dean….I had another dream….'' Hazel started, watching the glee light his features as he stared at her breast. She looked down wishing for a way to cover them; he looked like a kid on Christmas morning. The damn things even felt perkier.

'' Stop that I feel like you got x-ray vision or something……I do have a face you know..'' Hazel squealed, only managing to make Dean watch closer as they bounced from the force of her outburst. She tried again.

'' I thought you were an ass man anyway…''

'' Think you've changed my mind on the subject sweat heart..'' Dean answered. All the commotion must have woken up Sam.

Who was suddenly around the corner, picking at her hair and pinching at her freckles, like a long lost friend had come into town. Then Sam eyed the remains of her bra on the floor, got this huge smile as he did one of his full toothed grins, slowly coming back up to also eye her rack. He and Dean returned silent looks each with their own emotion filled faces. And Sam said to Hazel's utter mortification.

'' I remember these….I thought they seemed smaller….''


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N-Some quotes taken from the show end second season, I don't own nor make money off of those, nor the boys…But the rest is all mine. Happy reading, perhaps this will help kindle some of that, not enough Dean lovin(physically I mean) And gratify the hormones a bit….took a while cause I wanted to get it perfect…still don't feel like it is….But I'd be workin on it forever if I tried for complete perfection. And the chapter did turn out a longer length, and I prefer to give you guys as much as I can at a time. Hope you all like it, please review….even if it is to argue a point….lol. Luvs-Corrode **

**Chapter 16**

**Silver Daggers and Deep Hard Kisses**

'' So, how are you doing…'' Sam's voice startled Hazel out of her reverie.

She was standing in her old room, which had been left basically the same since the night of her Aunts termination. They'd kept the lights off, not wanting anybody or anything to become aware of their presence. The darkness seemed so absolute to Hazel, that she felt as if she were standing in a coffin, the confines of the shadows not limited to the actual height of the ceiling.

And now Hazel stood playing the dream through her head. She thought if she kind of reenacted it, and went back over her every move, she would think of something. Instead, Hazel found her mind somewhere else entirely. The old memory, or dream faded from her thoughts taking foreground to one that was almost as painful……The night she had last seen the Winchester brothers, eleven years prior.

Hazel thought of Sam, and the look of betrayal that had been glistening in his crooked posture. That night so long ago seemed too fresh in the darkness, the likenesses similar, yet not. The way Sam stood now, anxiety for her as he framed the doorway, clear in the way he was rubbing his palms together. Dean was somewhere else in the gloom ferreting out readings on his homemade EMF detector. He was absent in body, but tangible in her mind.

'' I was thinking of that night….'' Hazel stated her shoulders slumped low in the darkness. Hazel sat down on her bed.

'' The night you found your Aunt…'' Sam asked, coming to sit beside her. The long canopy of lace and satin hung down around them, and he pushed absently at the stray fabric.

'' No…..the last time we were in this room together…..remember we were fighting, about Dean of all things. I said some horrible things that night Sam-and I'm sorry….''

Hazel thought about Dean, the way he'd stood at her window just looking at her. The way he had made her feel, his light green eyes shivering under all that rainwater……all that emotion. Hazel thought about the way her eyes had touched on Dean's completely, for the first time that night. And then how she had been unable to deny him entrance. Or anything else for that matter, she cringed. It had been only a few short hours later that he had followed her, had kissed her and held her.

'' Hazel….'' Sam was shaking her lightly, she'd become lost in her memories, in fact ever since entering the side door here at the old house-Hazel had felt dim, unfocused, and just plain absent.

She looked towards Sam, his eyebrows had laid siege over his eyes almost the entire time they'd been here….Hazel could feel his worry over her obvious condition, she felt as if she were sleep walking, lost in the eddies and crevices of the past. She ran her hand along Sam's face cupping it in her hand and tried to smile, to be reassuring.

'' It was a long time ago Haze….''

'' Thiers something I never told you about that night Sam, isn't really important in the scope of everything else. But it's seems important to be completely honest now….probably won't make you feel warm and cuddly or anything…..suppose this fresh start stuff, kinda makes me feel like a recovering junkie….apologies and truth all around….'' Sam was looking at her now, a slight frown forming on his gentle face, and Hazel wondered if she should tell him at all. But hell, something told her that it was important he know….some part of her bent on masochism she thought dryly.

'' After you left that night…..Dean came looking for you….'' Well that was a good start anyhow, Hazel thought pausing.

'' He didn't hurt you…..'' Sam asked.

Hazel laughed a little, what happened with Dean that night was far from pain…well the physical parts anyhow. What happened with Dean that night almost seemed like a dream itself. It was strange to her how old memories could become that way, mistaken for the impossible, taken for granted, and tossed around like luggage. Hell, it really was luggage this memory, but perhaps in the retelling it would lessen in influence.

'' He didn't…'' Sam gulped back the rest, as Hazel continued.

'' Actually, at first he just stood at the window….looking in through the rain-and he stared….''

'' And then…'' Hazel felt as if Sam had an idea as to where the story was going but no reason to rush.

'' I let him in…..''

'' Why, Haze…..you guys weren't exactly at the tops of each other's list…..why would you let him in?''

Okay, Hazel thought-time for the full truth no more lies to Sam, no more lies to yourself. Hazel figured if she told Sam, how she really felt about Dean….She would have someone else to at least help her shoulder the burden of a love that could never be. She didn't want to hurt Sam but she owed him the truth.

'' I'd been lying to myself Sam….in denial about Dean…..and when I saw him, standing in the rain-his emotions and worries about you crawling out through his skin….I couldn't lie to myself anymore….''

'' What are you saying Hazel…..did you guys….'' Sam let the sentence hang.

'' No we didn't do that….'' Although, I would have, she amended to herself.

'' I don't understand, if you guys didn't sleep together than what's the big deal…..''

'' After he left, I went to our place….hoping to find you----I thought you hated me, that I had driven away the only friendship I ever had…..'' Hazel took another deep breath, and continued, shaky but determined to finish the story.

'' When you didn't come, after a while….I was pretty broken up….I guess somehow, Dean had followed me their also. When I looked up the expression in his eyes….Sam I couldn't help myself….Dean was looking at me in a way only you had up to that point……a soft way, like he cared that I was in pain…''

Hazel thought of how she had shivered under the intensity of Dean, the fact that she was half naked seemed perfectly natural. And it wasn't that Dean hadn't noticed her lack of clothing from the waist up. She remembered feeling his reaction to her slick and bare skin, after he'd pulled her into his lap, his tenderness turning to more than concern, and it had excited Hazel. She wasn't about to give Sam the details though, that would be too cruel.

'' But you said you didn't..''

'' No it didn't get that far….but that's not the point…'' Hazel saw the dilating and darkening of Sam's eyes, she could already feel the anger. But it wasn't about the thought of her and Dean, Sam's anger was about the loss of her and him, the loss of them meaning more to each other than friends. Hazel hadn't realized up till that point that secretly Sam had still been hoping for a happily ever after between them.

'' You love him….'' Sam acknowledged his mouth pinched inward, as he tried but failed to hold Hazel's eyes.

'' God help me….. I do…'' Hazel answered quietly.

'' But he can't Hazel….''

'' I know….'' Hazel turned away, towards the window where Dean had stood that night.

'' Then God help us both….''Sam returned, steeling his fingers before running them through his hair.

'' Nothing on the EMF, just a bunch of old granny figurines……you guys find anything…'' It was Dean, and Hazel figured her and Sam must look like quiet the pair sitting on her bed in the dark, her eyes cast in a guilty frown.

'' You know, if you guys need the room…'' Dean stated in his sarcastic way, but his sarcasm was edged with something darker.

That's when Hazel realized Dean was jealous of Sam. Dean thought there was something going on between them. She wished for the good old days, the times when she could lie and tell Dean that there was. And she couldn't really tell him otherwise either, it would open too many things up. Hazel hated the expression on Dean's face, so she averted her gaze.

'' No, we haven't found anything…..'' Hazel said absently.

'' Looks like you have to me….'' Dean stated, referring to her and Sam.

'' It's not what you think Dean…'' Sam looked up at his brother's face, Dean's angst bleached in the shadows.

'' It isn't huh? Well then…… tell me Sammy-what is it….'' Dean questioned, neither Sam nor Hazel knew how to answer, so they didn't.

'' That's what I thought…'' Dean stated his anger evident before quickly being replaced.

'' Anyway, it doesn't matter…..But I think we need Hazel for a complete sweep of the place, secrete passages…..man this place has the full on Scooby experience…'' Dean turned, cocky grin replacing any dark looks that had been in his eyes before.

'' And besides what was it you said Sammy…we have a job to do, no fooling around…'' On that note Dean leaned casually, against the bed frame-smiling down at the two of them and making Hazel feel even guiltier for not correcting Dean's assumptions.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hazel stood across her room the candlelight playing around her and Dean, and softening the atmosphere. It could've been romantic if it weren't for Dean's dogged persistence to stay as far from Hazel as possible. Ever since entering the room he'd remained almost aloof, as if he were just pushing his emotions towards her into the locker room in his head. Dean was a stubborn ass, and Hazel wished she could just as easily do the same as he did. But she couldn't and was battling through the emotions, not having much luck.

It must have took allot of practice to so effectively cut someone or something out like that, and it made Hazel sad for Dean. Unfortunately, it made Hazel sad for herself also…..if he wasn't even willing to try now to win her….when the only thing keeping him away was jealousy, and imagined alliances. Then how would he ever be able to lower those thick steel Winchester barricades. Hazel sighed; Dean wouldn't-she'd need more than a battering ram to bust through his ego's fortress.

The ambiance had been helping to lighten the mood a little, silent as it was, as the pair waited for Sam to come back with some blankets. Dean was in the middle of putting up a bunch of protective sigils and mojo bags along with the salt to keep clean and impure things away; since, they didn't know what they were dealing with he used a variety of different protection methods. Setting up different types of weapons around the room like it was an armory.

Stakes of different kinds of wood sat strung out among shot-guns filled with salt rounds, forty-fours packing lead and or silver rounds, rods of iron and flasks of holy water, and symbols from most cultures around the world painted her walls….there was even a trap of Solomon, or Devils trap on the inside and outside of the door. Hazel wondered why Dean would feel the need for the devils trap in both places. When she asked, Dean just grunted and continued in his task, tossing her a bag to wear around her neck and hopefully mask her presence.

Hazel twisted the bag in her hands; lifting it to her nose she could smell the pungent aroma of wormwood. Hazel made a gagging sound and stuck it in her pocket instead.

'' Around the neck sweet heart….'' It was Dean's voice, his all business tone in place.

'' It stinks….'' Hazel started.

'' Yeah, allot of things stink around here….You wanted protection….and that's part of the deal….now…. put… it… on…'' Dean's tone of voice was pissing her off, and she didn't deserve it.

'' Screw you…'' Hazel said, folding her arms over her chest. It was almost comical the way Dean's head snapped around, but not comical enough when his next statement rang out.

'' No thanks, I don't double-team with my brother, you can talk to him about the screwing….''

Hazel sputtered, and then chose to stay silent. There wasn't anything she could say to Dean that would make him feel better. Although, the idea of having him eating his words was nice in fantasy, she couldn't tell Dean how she felt about him.

'' Now put your mojo bag on like a good little witch….'' This said Dean sat to clean his gun.

Sam had been voted to go on the blanket hunt when Dean had insisted that she and Sam alone might not be such a good idea. Both Hazel and Sam had rolled their eyes but been unable to convince Dean otherwise. Dean had smiled grimly at them and started in the task of the salt line. At first the silence hadn't been that bad for Hazel. So she had focused her gaze out the window, and now took up that same position, her thoughts of Dean and the past slipping through her mind.

'' Might not be such a good idea standing at the window like that…..especially looking all droopy eyed, could draw unwanted attention…'' Dean said this from behind Hazel, so she walked a few feet and perched uneasily on the edge of the bed.

'' I'm not gonna bite sweat heart…… stop lookin so scared….it's not me you should be worried about..'' Then turning back to his task, Dean sighed. Hazel focused on her feet, trying to think of some way to make things up with Dean.

_I can't believe this….stuck in a room with the Bobsy Twins un-frickin-believable……..Guess all that flirting my little hell cat was doing…..was just a tease……perhaps she's just that type of girl….._

'' I am not a tease…..'' Hazel swung her head toward Dean's voice, too late realizing that he looked as surprised by her outburst as she was.

'' What?'' He hadn't said anything. Dean went back over and replayed the moment before, naw, but he'd been thinking it. And judging from the way Hazel was looking at him now his guess was as good as gold, that she had heard every word. Dean felt a veil of ice cross over his body and features…… He'd be damned, the little witch was hiding something. Dean didn't know how she could have heard his thoughts but no human he had ever heard of could do that, and Dean wasn't taking any chances; perhaps, she was evil after all. Hazel had managed to shift appearances at the drop of a hat. But if she wasn't human…….

Hazel knew the instant Dean did that something wasn't right, and now he was looking at her with a loathing so deep, so raw- and she couldn't understand where it came from all of the sudden, until he spoke.

'' You better tell me what the hell you are, or so help me God….'' Dean's look was deadly serious, as he drew his silver knife from his boot and approached Hazel slowly.

'' You already know that Dean….'' Hazel replied, her eyes round and her limbs starting to tremble as she backed herself onto the bed. Unfortunately, Dean just climbed up after her, slowly easing his body over her prone position.

'' Well I'm not buying…..I think there's more to this than a few premonitions…..'' He had her trapped now, his jeans rubbed into the fabric of her own, and the muscles of his biceps supported his mass as he hovered a few inches above her.

The way the candlelight mirrored the mossy depths of his eyes, making his burnished skin glow, had Hazel's breathe quickening in her throat. This was not the way she had imagined it, Dean's fury was practically a third presence itself. And it was directed at her, strangely enough, Hazel could still feel her body responding to his. Hazel's automatic response came out as a half terrified, semi-aroused mewling sound. Dean smiled disdainfully down at her.

'' You told me you had dreams sweat heart…..dreams……. And that doesn't include mind melding, or whatever the hell you just did.'' That was when Hazel saw her mistake, he hadn't been talking out loud at all, and she had answered him as if he had.

Dean held the silver blade against her throat, she seemed scared enough….But she'd seemed like allot of things, and she'd lied to him before. What he couldn't figure is what her game could possibly be, what did she gain from all this. Did it have something to do with his brother….was Hazel just another Ruby in disguise? What if she wasn't the girl Sammy thought she was at all, but some form of Shape shifter, just toying with them, getting its freakin rocks off on some kind of sick game? Dean could smell her excitement, and heaven help him…..he was tempted.

'' Listen…..'' Hazel started, her fingertips pushed into Dean's black shirt, she might as well tell him the truth. After all what did she have to lose now, Hazel considered.

'' I think I'm done listening…..is everything a lie with you…..huh?'' Dean shouted leaning in towards Hazel, his sliver dagger grazing her throat, a thin rivulet of blood trailed down her neck. Whatever she was she was immune to silver, Dean thought. Dean recoiled from the urge to kiss the wound, reminding himself that that wouldn't be helping the situation. He didn't understand how he could still want her this much when things stood as they did.

'' I deserved that…..But give me the chance to tell you….'' Hazel didn't know where to begin but she better do it fast.

'' And why should I trust a word you say, huh?''

'' I'm sorry Dean…'' His eyes were like green lighthouse's guiding her ship towards the rocks below, apparently that wasn't what he wanted to hear.

'' That's not good enough….'' Dean affirmed deadly quiet. Hazel could feel the turmoil, and wondered if she had any hope of convincing Dean anything.

Hazel couldn't believe it….after all this, coming all this way…..Dean, the man she loved was going to kill her. Okay, so she'd not told him everything…..she had been hoping he'd never find out. And this was why she hadn't said anything. She was afraid he would look at her in exactly the same way he used to, the way he was looking at her now. And it hurt damnit, it hurt knowing he was going to hell, it hurt to have him look at her like she was dog shit on the bottom of his boot. But most of all it hurt like hell to love Dean Winchester.

'' Go on then, you hate me that much…..……'' Hazel choked out Dean's heart beating beneath her fingertips.

Tears gathered on Hazel's lashes, shinning in her red rimmed eyes. And Dean felt in his gut that she was being truthful now. So why would the girl witch care that much about whether he hated her? In fact now Dean thought about it, she looked the same way now as she had when he'd kissed her all those years before, after he'd pulled away. Unless……what if she did care, Dean asked himself.

Hazel watched as Dean was gauging her reaction, watched as Dean searched her face, his expression surprised and somber. Then he'd looked into her eyes, holding her gaze with his own. Something clicked, and she felt the heat between them, the warmth that had been denied for so long….. flare up quickly.

Dean threw the knife aside, surprising Hazel as a new kind of passion surrounded them. So caught up in the force she barely had time to prepare. Opening her mouth to protest, Dean's lips crashed over Hazel pressing her further into the mattress. His tongue was driving into her mouth so deeply, it was as if it was not only a kiss but mirrored the act of actual penetration, and Hazel was lost. She was lost inside the tigers eye, the green cavity suctioning her body in tactile sensations, Dean's hands across her stomach, light touches, soft exhales-grazing moister. Hazel trembled beneath Dean's onslaught knowing she needed to push him away, but not wanting to.

'' Hey, what the hell Dean….'' Sam's voice cut through the thick fog of seduction, which was woven through even the tightest coils and nerves between them, not separating but joining them completely.

That was when it happened- Hazel had looked up into Dean's smiling face before he turned towards Sam, directly into his pupils. Then it was as if she were falling down a well-Hazel tumbled and had the most vivid memory shock wave of her life, so strong that her body vibrated with the force of combined emotions. And Dean's memory came into focus.

_(Dean's Memory)_

_The house was pretty bare except for the massive amount of bottles sticking out successively from around the room. Dean's form was slumped low over another form laid out upon a mattress. It was Sam and he lay unmoving as if asleep. Dean stood up when he heard the gravel crunch and the engine shut off from outside the house, he propped himself against the door frame and waited. He didn't want to be interrupted, hell he didn't really want to see anybody-just the bottom of the bottle and his brother back around. _

_Dean barely moved at all when he first heard the other man's voice, just a twitching of his eyes as he turned to see the older man with the trucker cap, holding a bucket of chicken. Just the idea of eating when his brother would never eat again turned Dean's stomach. _

'' _No thanks, I'm fine..'' Dean stated._

'' _You should eat something..'' The older man returned, standing in the foreground._

'' _I said I'm fine…'' Dean echoed his voice taking on an irate tone._

_Dean turned and picked up another bottle, taking a swing like he was drowning. The older man glanced around the room, taking in all the empties scattered throughout._

'' _Dean….I hate to bring this up…..I really do, but don't you think maybe it's time….we bury Sam..'' The look Dean gave the older man said it all. _

'' _No…'' It was a flat refusal; Hazel could feel it like a knife twisting in her heart._

_The older man suggested torching Sam's corpse. But Dean wouldn't have it, he was asked to leave with the older man and wouldn't do that either. Hazel could feel his grief, Dean's loss and it was only getting bigger and darker as the scene continued. They fought, and yet Dean proceeded to argue against it._

'' _You don't think I've given enough….you don't think I've paid enough…I'm done with it….all of it..And if you know what's good for you you'd turn around and get the hell out of here…….GO!'' Dean shouted and lunged at the older man, fury and sadness kindled in his expression. _

_His stance softened, and he apologized pleading with the older man to leave. So the older man left, Dean turned towards Sam's body and a single tear caught his cheek. _

_Hazel wasn't sure she wanted to see what was unfolding before her, because the pain was expanding….But she couldn't seem to shake herself out of this one, for the first time Hazel felt like she had zero control over her gift. _

'' _You know when we were little….when you couldn't have been more than five..'' Dean sitting vigil over Sam's body again, he talked to Sam as if he could hear him._

''_You just started asking questions….how come we didn't have a mom…why do we always have to move around..where did dad go when he'd take off for days at a time….remember I begged you to quit asking….Sammy, you don't want to know….I just wanted you to be a kid……just for a little while longer…I was tryin to protect you……''_

_The emotions felt like waves crashing over Hazel, and she couldn't help the flow of tears that dropped like ashes to her flaming cheeks. Hazel could feel Dean's despair so thick, it sucked the moister from her lungs, touching her energy and intertwining, then strangling the lighter flow- nearly cutting it off. _

'' _Dad didn't even have to tell me…it was just always my responsibility…It's like I had one job, one job….and I screwed it up……..I blew it..and for that I'm sorry….I guess that's what I do….I let down the people I love….I let dad down…..and now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down to….''Dean paused._

'' _How can I……how am I supposed to live with that…What am I supposed to do….Sammy…..what am I supposed to do…..WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!'' Dean pounded the table with his fist, the first time Hazel had ever seen him cry….the darkness was so large now. She didn't want to see what came next, felt something horrible was being revealed. But she was going to; Hazel realized she had no choice. _

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'' What the hell is going on, Sammy….'' Dean asked watching as Hazels small body twisted like she was in agony on the bed, and then she went still, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Dean was scared but he could hear her muttering, half sentences coming out, he couldn't understand it all but for some reason, it seemed familiar.

He looked towards his brother who looked about as scared as he was.

'' It's never been like this before Dean…'' Sam stated confusion in his startled dark eyes.

'' What do you mean Sammy…'' And then Dean heard the words…..

'' One year….'' Hazel looked suddenly alert, as she said this, and then she was out, passed out cold.

'' What the hell Sammy….'' Dean looked at Sam, eyes wide.

'' It's the cross roads deal, that's the only thing it could be….'' Sam spoke softly but in awe, then he continued.

'' It's never been like that Dean…..I think she's getting stronger……had you been thinking about the deal……''

'' Oh yeah Sammy, I usually go kissing girls while thinking about the deal….that really brings out the mood…'' Dean stated sardonically, and then continued.

'' How could she know about the deal….''

'' Well she does now…'' Sam answered. And Dean groaned.


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay new chapter….took longer than I meant it to, but that's because I have been working out the details of the new character with my friend….since she is the brain embryo Luci came from. The next chapter should be an exciting one with lots of reveals and plot turns….just hope I can do Kripke justice…he is the master of catching you by surprise……ohhhh-I can't wait for next week when the new season starts..All that teasing with the clips-I am all a twitter. Love u guys, please review.**

**LacAnn**

**Chapter 17**

**All around the Mulberry Bush **

Hazel awoke to find a sleeping Dean curled beside her, and Sam pacing the room. Something felt wrong but she couldn't place the horrible feeling, it was like some heavy weight was pressing into her chest. Not only that but she felt drained, her energy fluctuating in a dull throb at the center of her forehead. And then all the detail and horrible memory from the night before came rushing back, in a kaleidoscope of images and volatile emotions-Hazel remembered the memory shock wave with frightening clarity. She wished she could just go back to sleep but knew that she couldn't.

Hazel glanced sideways at Dean a protective instinct rising instantly inside of her. She hadn't wanted to know the truth, the reason and time Dean was going to Hell. But now that she did, Hazel couldn't help wishing to pull Dean to her and sooth away everything…to make things better. The shadows on his face were tranquil, in sleep Dean seemed ten years younger.

She turned on her side; fingers eager to touch his forehead, to murmur sweet tidings to him in the darkness….to kiss away his pain. Just the idea brought a blush of intimacy to Hazel's shaking limbs, reminding her how much of a novice at this game she really was. Comfort Dean Winchester, Hazel thought, the girl who hardly knew what real intimacy took to provide? Hell, she'd spent half her life running from human contact and the idea that it could be so simple proved obsolete, especially with her fumbling efforts.

And now that Dean knew how much she had been keeping from him, he probably wouldn't let her get close enough to try. Because, it had never been about him, he'd built a life on the watching after and protecting of others. Still, it was a testimony to his sense of obligation that he lay beside her and did so peacefully. Of course, Dean had never been one to back down because of an obstacle…..Hazel thought he would see her through; no matter, what needed to be stomped out, or over taken over-Dean would risk mortality, and more if that's what was needed. Sure, he would proceed with caution but proceed he would.

She let herself go back over the idea in her head. Would Dean hate her now as much as he hated the things he hunted? Hazel didn't know how he would react to the idea of her being able to hear his thoughts. And she had no idea what had happened when she had seen such a personal part of his past. Knowing that her body still ached from the memory shock was proof enough that he had to at least of noticed something wasn't right. But how much Dean did glean from her jaunt inside his past….that was something she would have to deal with. Strange though it was, Hazel felt a certain relief in Dean's knowing, it kept some of the tightening knots from fluttering through her stomach-making the load lighter.

Sam heard the rustling of bed sheets the second Hazel turned towards Dean, and looking to see Hazel awake he came to her side. He saw the way she was looking at Dean and understood on some level the way she must be feeling. If only…..he thought, he would gladly give to Hazel and Dean…. and they could have a life together. If there was a way Sam would give it all to them. He had been shocked when he came in the room earlier- to find the two of them locked together like nothing else in the world existed except for the other, they had in fact looked as if each was the others life line, even as the world was unraveling around them.

It was a passion Sam understood too clearly, a passion he had once shared with Hazel himself. Apparently however, it had been only his passion, and the lost love, the lover's kind of love was lost to him. He now knew that Hazel did in fact love his brother….it was written too deeply in her gaze, and her bodies movement when he'd found them. Perhaps, she had never really been his at all, Sam thought, becoming surer of it as the days had gone by. Sam grieved for both of them, and he grieved for himself. But he could never force _that_ kind of love from her, knowing he held her love at all was a gesture to be revered, and a gesture to be valued.

After Hazel had blacked out, the boys had taken up quiet vigil, both lost in their own thoughts. Dean's granted silence mirrored Sam's. Yet still, Dean had insisted he lay beside Hazel, looking as confused by his idea as Sam was. He'd given Sam the look that said _not one word Sammy. _So, neither hadn't said much of anything, small talk in the face of the prudential pink elephant in the room, had been tight and forced.

'' So now you know…'' Sam stated quietly to Hazel, not sure he wanted to wake the sleeping Dean. Hazel turned towards Sam's voice; with sheen to her large eyes….it was all Sam needed to confirm his suspicions.

'' Dean knows to Hazel, it was like you were channeling his memory….can't really hide something like that….''

'' I figured, Sam it has never been like that….it was so strong and I couldn't pull out of it…''

'' What did you see…'' Sam asked, too curious not to.

'' Everything Sam….you lying dead….the way Dean was dealing with it….he hurt so much….And now I can't get rid of how he was feeling….and then the deal….'' Hazel held onto her choked sobs as best she could because now was not the time to lose control. She went on.

'' I've known about the going to Hell thing for a while now….'' Sam seemed surprised by her omission.

'' But how…'' Sam asked.

'' The first night we met, when he grabbed me from behind….But….I'd been pushing it aside…Guess I've been in denial about lots of things….''

'' What happened….'' Sam reached out for Hazel intending to gather her in his arms, but instead let them fall flat against his sides. She was dealing with some heavy things right now and a hug felt like a useless weapon against them. He continued.

'' After I left….I mean Dean didn't say much….he seemed preoccupied, and then when I came back…and I saw you guys….'' Sam gulped his eye bows coming down and into place before he continued.

'' What the hell happened Haze…I thought we'd agreed it was a bad idea to be with Dean in that way..''

'' Yeah, but I couldn't push him away…'' Hazel looked ashamed, and then she hurried on.

'' Well…. I wasn't paying attention….and Dean he, he projects…..So, I thought he was speaking out loud…..would've known if I hadn't been so lost in my own thoughts….'' Hazel bit her lip, berating herself silently. She continued.

'' Sam… I…I answered him. And Dean….he put two and two together…..he called me on it…'' Hazel was fidgeting with the blanket and avoiding his eyes. Sam knew there was more to the story, and it wasn't just the lip locking. He knew Dean well enough to know how Dean would react; the question was just _what _Dean would do. Dean was a very private person and although he expected complete loyalty and honesty….sharing his thoughts wasn't easy for him.

'' What did he do….'' Hazel almost chuckled out loud as she answered Sam, now the idea seemed ridicules even if it was terrifying at the time.

'' He pulled out his dagger…''

'' He……what?'' Sam's look and response made Hazel want to smile wider, and she almost did before Sam went on.

'' But when I came in….''

'' Yeah, well guess I'm just irresistible…'' Hazel smiled slowly at the jest, and Sam gave her a frowning look; which only made her smile wider.

'' But you heard Dean's thoughts…..I thought it was just emotions and memories, and then don't you usually have to be touching?''

'' It's different with Dean….I don't know why…..'' Hazel frowned in consideration, and realized that even now as Dean lay beside her she could feel him. And her awareness of him was stronger than ever, she wondered if it had something to do with the shockwave, but their connection now seemed more complete. Man, as if it wasn't hard enough before, Hazel thought.

'' Okay…..but that still doesn't explain how you two went from avoidance to coming quickly up on second base in the space of forty-five minutes….'' Sam's look was muddied with disapproval.

'' The best I can guess is Dean thought I might be a threat when he found out I could hear his thoughts….'' Hazel was cut short from getting to the good part of the experience.

'' The vote is still out on that one sweet-heart…..'' Hazel felt Dean's awareness before he spoke but chose not to react; he needed to know everything anyway-it was far past time for that. She now knew she'd been wrong in keeping things from Dean.

'' Dean…we were just talking…'' Sam broke in.

'' Yeah, another private pow-wow….thought I'd crash this one Sammy…'' Dean leered insolently from the darkness, coming to a sitting position beside Hazel. Then as Hazel leaned up on her elbow, Dean turned that look towards her, mouth quirking as he spoke.

'' You. Stay….'' Hazel's mouth fell open.

'' Dean she's not a dog….'' Sam protested.

'' Maybe not….but I'm not sure what she is….and until I get some detail…I'm calling the shots….'' Dean glanced back at her as his feet hit the Turkish rug beneath the bed, his emotions clattering through his roughened features. Dean did not look happy.

'' Why the hell would you need detail Dean? You had your tongue down her throat….Last I checked you weren't a complete idiot, you couldn't be thinking she's much of a threat with your hand up her shirt…'' Sam, Hazel's warrior came to her defense. Sam understood what it felt like to be looked at like a freak, and Hazel didn't need that from his brother.

'' That was before she read my memory like a friggin pop-up book…..'' Dean cringed, and made a sound of disgust.

'' And not the Mother Goose kind either….''

'' I still feel like she's in their….'' Dean finished.

'' I didn't _do_ anything Dean….usually not given a choice when these things happen… '' Hazel responded, she felt like his words were more than a little unjustified. All Hazel's good intentions on his character were forgotten with his crass words.

'' You….shut your pie hole, I'm thinking….'' Hazel squawked in indignation, crossing her arms and trying to think of some kind of biting retort. The man was maddening, Hazel seethed.

Dean didn't know what to think. He couldn't deny his feelings for the girl were strong. And now the thought of her grouping around in his thoughts and memories….he didn't like the idea at all. So yeah, he was uncomfortable. When he'd kissed her though….he'd never felt that right or complete in his life. It was like she blocked out all the darkness, mended all the scratched and scarred pieces of his psyche, then when he'd held her- nothing seemed more natural. And that kind of release couldn't come without a price, could it?

'' Dean….'' Sam said, looking into his brothers eyes. Dean scrubbed his face with his hand, a weary sigh as he turned to look at Sam.

'' Nobody Sam….no body should've been able to see or whatever it is she did…_that _memory….hell even I don't like to…..'' Dean turned towards Hazel, her face was bleak, and he wondered if he were sharing with her even now. That memory was too private to Dean, and judging from her expression she'd seen it all.

'' If it makes you feel better….I didn't really want to see it either, but I couldn't pull away from it…'' Hazel folded her hands in her lap, Dean's emotions clearer than ever, they danced around her…. And she let go as they washed over her, trying to absorb yet obliterate the negativity surrounding her. Because it was no use fighting them back; perhaps, she could try and explain.

'' I don't know how, or why these _gifts_ became mine….But I've always had them…so I can't tell you any _details _Dean….'' Hazel looked tumultuously up at him from her blanketed perch. The words didn't seem to calm his irked gaze in the least, but he did seem to be considering something.

'' I'm thinkin….you must be sort of a big deal to someone, sister….and Mc Creepy bartender is just the tip of this ice berg….''

'' The people who are hunting you Hazel….'' Sam asked suddenly as if something had just occurred to him.

'' Are they also the ones who killed your aunt..?''

Hazel was startled by his question; she thought she had made it clear that they were. But now that she thought about it….she hadn't given all the details to finding her aunt's body. And when she turned it over in her mind Hazel wondered if perhaps it was because that was also the first night Luci had come into her life. Thoughts of her old mentor and teacher were still painful and the wrenching that had come unexpected when Luci disappeared one night-leaving nothing but a simple note…was something Hazel liked to not think about. It was mainly because for Hazel that incident was just another disappointment, in a long line of sorrowful misfortunes for her.

'' Yes, we believed it was the same people who also killed my parents…'' Hazel acknowledged.

'' _We_….oh this just keeps getting better and better….'' Dean stated cynically.

'' Who's we…'' Sam asked, just as worried as Dean was. Sam wondered how many other details Hazel had left out, and the time lapse between their meeting up again made him wonder just how much he really knew about his cohort.

'' A friend..'' Hazel answered bluntly, obviously not willing to go on. But she finished lamely, looking doubtful and ashamed to not have a clearer answer. So she continued.

'' A very close friend…''

'' Thanks for the help…..that really narrows the list…'' Dean said this in a gravelly voice, a voice that sounded both tired and yet held an edge of scorn.

'' I'm not ready to talk about that…'' Hazel said hoping to mollify, Dean sputtered.

'' Not ready to talk….why should we give you a choice….I don't remember much of a choice when you reached inside my skull….like Hannibal lector and peeked at what you had no business…..'' Dean started toward Hazel, fists clenched at his sides. And Hazel tilted up her chin in defiance, let him come to her she reasoned, she'd show him what was what….she'd been trained to after all.

'' Dean…..this isn't the time, and you're not helping either….'' Sam stated angrily, snapping off any other scathing retorts, from either Hazel or Dean. Dean sighed crossly stopping in his advance. Sam looked torn. And Hazel looked like a small petulant child, lost among the folds of her blanket.

'' Guess we should take the tour then….'' Dean declared, walking rigidly from the room after gathering his EMF, the silver knife he'd thrown to the floor before kissing Hazel, and his favorite gun. Dean left the other two to trail in his Hell bent wake.

'' But I don't like it!'' Dean threw back over his shoulder. Hazel couldn't help the stray giggle as Sam smiled crookedly at her, as if he were saying _well that's just Dean. _And together they laughed, as they followed an exceedingly pissed off Dean out into the corridor.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

'' My God Hazel is this real..'' Sam asked picking up a piece of pottery.

They were down, in the main foyer, running the EMF even though they had no evidence that it was a ghost, they wanted to make sure all the bases were covered. Besides, strange energy fields could be thrown off from other entities also….and they were not taking any chances. The wooden floors echoed around them as they walked. Looking for what Hazel wasn't sure, but Dean had insisted any small thing could lead them in the right direction. And Hazel hadn't felt like arguing with his logic, after all this is what they did.

The vase Sam held up in the light of his flashlight was stone, with a black background; the scene depicted was a hunt. It looked to Sam like, a piece of Greek pottery, probably made in Athens around the time of 500 BC. But that couldn't possibly be true, replicas had been made for hundreds of years surely…..

'' Probably…'' Hazel answered shrugging her shoulders. When Sam looked at her in astonishment she went on.

'' The Whiteburns are a very old family Sam…..great collectors, sometimes I felt like they purchased the pieces just to outdo all the other families….like it was some kind of pissing contest..'' Hazel could hear Dean snickering in the background.

'' Sounds about right to me your highness…'' Dean quipped, Hazel was not impressed, she'd spent her life hating the life she had been thrust into, and the superior attitude that came along with it, had never been part of her. In fact, she always felt like she didn't belong at all, even if she had inherited the fortune….it just made her feel smaller and more out of place than ever.

'' You don't choose your family Dean…'' Hazel responded.

'' Touche'…'' Dean replied raising the EMF in salute.

'' But it does explain you're holier than thou attitude…'' Dean commented.

'' I do not….''

'' Guy's…..'' Sam intoned, they turned on him.

'' What…'' stated in unified tones of displeasure.

Sam was hoisting something large down from the mantle. Hazel knew immediately what it was and became animated as she drew in behind Sam. Why she hadn't even thought of it, but the old drawing could be of use. It was one of the scattered antiques she loved the most, it had helped her as a child to find all the hidden corridors and passages, like a map to adventure…she had spent hours studying it.

'' Of course Sam…..what an awesome idea…'' And Hazel stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. Sam's sweet smile and warming cheeks annoyed Dean. And Dean wondered why he even cared, why would he want Hazel treating him that way anyhow? He felt the girl was nothing but trouble, she made him feel things he didn't want to…like picket fences and having a family, and that for Dean was trouble….it wasn't his life and never would be.

'' What is it…'' Dean stated a trifle gruffly. He came to stand behind the now distracted pair, their heads bent over their prize as they studied whatever _it_ was. Dean shone the beam of the flashlight on the flat surface of the sketch, and couldn't help the sideways smile that spread slowly.

'' I'll be damned….is that what I think it is….'' He asked.

'' It sure is…..it's a map of the house, the old construction planes…every nook and cranny inside the old gal….'' Hazel looked towards Dean, her own smile twinkling in her eyes to match his. And Dean felt the warmth of the contact curling in his stomach and tightening in his loins. His smile faltered in his surprise, when he realized how much of an effect the girl witch already had on him. Fuck, he was so screwed….Dean thought, how would he ignore the girl now?

--------------------------------------------------------

On the map Sam had noticed some strange inconsistencies…..things a child such as Hazel had been at the time, wouldn't have noticed. And they all had to do with her Aunts chambers. Mostly it was gaps in places their shouldn't have been gaps, and now holding the map for guidance they stood at the door, floor plans in hand.

Hazel stood at the entrance to her aunt's chambers she hadn't been in the rooms beyond since the night of discovering her aunt's body….the night Luci came crashing in through the window with a glint of steel and murder in her jade like eyes. Luci had dispatched of the robed figures as easily as if she were swatting at flies, and Hazel had sat in awe. The lithe strength and sinuous power displayed in Luci was overwhelming as the lightening played throughout the scene, a strobe of pure violence and carnage….Hazel hadn't even been sure at that point who she was more afraid of, the intruders or Luci. Even then she knew something about Luci was different. A warm rush of kinship at the memory of Luci was greeted by Dean's probing stare…..And Hazel hastened to shake herself out of the past and into the now.

'' I think, they saved my life that night…'' Hazel stated, answering Dean's probing stare.

'' A regular prince charming huh?'' Dean stated looking Hazel over and then searching her eyes. Hazel realized he probably thought Luci was male; perhaps it was better that way.

'' On some level….'' Hazel stated evasively, trying not to laugh. The idea was ridiculous in all the ways that Luci was defiantly not male, at least not in the physical way. But she thought Luci would appreciate the analogy.

She looked hard at the gilded doorknob that would lead her into the chambers beyond, not sure she wanted to open the door. Touching the dark stained oak paneling she caught the whisperings of that night, pain, death and sorrow beneath her trembling touch. Hazel wondered whether she really wanted to know the truth. But as she thought of Luci, her friends voice came out clear in her head as if she were standing beside her _stop being such a fucking wuss and turn the knob. _Hazel did as she always did and listened to the voice of rationale- if even a little insane at times- Luci always got the job done. In fact, Luci and Dean were similar in that plunging into danger headlong kind of way. Then chuckling to herself she walked over the threshold, thoughts of her old friend whisking her inside.


	18. Chapter 18

**Okay next bit up….sorry for the lag folks but I couldn't decide if it was done…and I'm still not completely satisfied…..but well didn't want you guys to have to wait for my perfectism to catch up. Thinking this part of the story will be coming to a close soon though….as long as the story agrees with me, never know for sure…it will be done when it's done. LacAnn**

**Chapter eighteen**

**Arsenals and Dark Passages **

The three walked into the room Dean leading the front and Sam bringing up the back. The EMF was held high in Dean's grip, as he swept the shadowed sitting room with the beam of his flashlight. Sam had come up around behind Hazel searching the room with an inquiring glance; he seemed to take in everything and nothing in the stillness.

Even in the dark, the place reminded Sam of an old English sitting room, the inner sanctum of some pompous Lord, complete with fire place and large backed chair. Sam could imagine the owner sitting idly; while, sipping the finest brandy and going over estate matters in a cool calculated way. The suggestion that Hazel had ever known this kind of world seemed almost like a joke, she was too free with herself, and too individually generous with others.

The idea of Hazel ever trying to fit in- a peacock among the caged hens was sad to him. And it gave Sam greater insight into her strengths. Sometimes, Sam forgot all Hazel had endured, sure it would have been easy for her to bow and simper, or bat her lashes and curtsy. And Sam new she had probably tried, tried through all the lectures and her aunt's drunken philosophies, to look beyond the stern disapproval of the house hold staff. Because of her compassion to fit in somewhere, in the beginning she would have tried. As she grew though Hazel had twisted the limits becoming more real than any of her old world family could understand. And now Sam watched her from his side view, half his mind focused on Hazel who'd hung back….

The emotions had caught her insides, and he saw how rigid her posture suddenly became. Sam knew he could never expect to know what it was like to be the way she was, to feel the things she could feel. And he hoped they would get through this that in the end Hazel would be okay-that she would beat her own demons. Yet, Sam knew enough of this life to worry for the transformation she might have to employ just to survive. He also knew when it all came down to it, it would be Hazel's own willpower not anything he could force, or even Dean. That no matter how Hazel felt about his brother, she would be the one taking the gauntlet…..or not taking it. Hazel's destiny would become known, and even with them at her sides, she would be as alone as ever.

Sam thought that from all he'd seen, something about this case was huge in a way he'd never imagined. Because there was too much unexplained to feel comfortable, it was like random files of information- a cuneiform tablet so old- it was worn out in all the important places. And sometimes, like all the oldest epics, the missing parts were never deciphered. They were only theorized over, debated about and sometimes roughly sketched in.

He thought about how even when translated the text would lose some of its real meaning, languages were tricky that way……and all the physical evidence they had to go on was some dusty old conversion, that barely made any sense. Even after pouring over it for hours Sam felt like he'd been playing Wheel of Fortune, only turning up more questions than answers. And he didn't really even know the category he was guessing at.

The best guess at time frame was Assyrian from what he could ascertain. But the problem with that was that the Assyrians were more known for their skill in combat, their strain for complete domination over all the surrounding land had lasted centuries. So a needle in a haystack was an understatement. The Assyrians had in fact stepped over so many toes for so long, the countercultures of thousands of migrated groups had mixed like a pseudo mythological casserole, complete with ever changing beliefs and adopted Gods….narrowing the legend to the right path could take a life time's work.

Of course, there was the pirating stranger/it/thing- which seemed to know Hazel or thought he did. And what kind of connection could any of this possibly have to the way Hazel had seemed to be hunted, before even she realized it. Sam had his suspicions on the matter but was keeping them to himself until more about the dreams….about the village could be divulged.

Yes, Sam had looked through the young Hazel's dairy, thick with pages of dreams….almost always the same. He had insisted upon their arrival and had finished as Haze lay unconscious with a tossing Dean at her side. And Sam stile wasn't sure the burning village had a thing to do with the answers they sought. But, Sam thought, if it did then neither he nor Dean had been part of something on this grand a scale since the murder of Yellow Eyes, the plot with the great demon army-Sam himself was supposed to be leading, or the looming possibility of Dean being dragged to hell by Hell's own gofers, the bad-ass Lassie's who weren't coming to tell Timmy about trouble at the well; but, to throw his brother down the damn thing.

Sam twitched his brows down over his eyes, worrying about Dean was not going to help them now, they had to focus on the case at hand; besides, the elevator with teeth wouldn't be arriving for another so many months. And Sam didn't care what Dean said he would save his brother, especially after all Dean had sacrificed just to bring him back. He only wished he knew how, he knew Bobby would be working tirelessly to find a way, even without being asked….But that Bobby would keep it too himself unless he had some kind of breakthrough.

So Dean was safe for now, from the deal anyhow……Too bad Sam could see right through Dean's escapade of pretending Hazel didn't exist, except to bark orders or quips in her direction. Dean was not safe from feeling something for Hazel. Sam had only ever seen Dean react so strongly to one other female…..Cassie- the tough talking journalist with the haunted monster truck on her case. Sam guessed it was just a matter of time before Dean gave in, and Sam had started to wonder if stopping the two was worth the headache……even if it was just one night-it might just be better they get it out of the way before it really interfered with their job.

Sam hadn't decided for sure, and didn't know if he ever would. After watching the two bicker, smile, yell and then fall into each other…..both looking just as terrified as the other at their actions-even while they glowed around the other, passed silent and longing caresses with their eye contact, then glowered as if they would blame the raising of the Berlin Wall on the other if they could. He thought he might just end up stepping aside, or presenting just the right opportunity……they both deserved a chance. And wouldn't it be the truest form of his love for them to let them experience what he could see they were being too stubborn to themselves.

Besides, to see them as happy as they had been when he walked in…just knowing he could give them something so simply perfect….even if just for a time. But right now Sam was enjoying his brother's jealousy over Hazel's old flame, or Sam supposed it was a flame. Eager though he was to ask, he knew Hazel was just baiting Dean- in some way using her intentional hidden secretes to occupy her own errant thoughts for his brother. Sam knew she wasn't lying, there was too much sincere pain when she spoke of this mystery person X, and she would come clean in time…..Hazel always did in the end, she was just too good a person to make Dean suffer overlong.

Sam sighed, sometimes he felt like the opportunity to be where Dean was right now, loving and being loved….was something that had passed him twice now and would never return. And this….searching, saving, killing would become him, define him…..and eventually like all hunters-kill him. No family, no children….no roots. Actually Sam believed now- that that was exactly how it would go…..as long as he kept this darkness inside to himself, kept it out of site and or practice, that a life of hunting would be good enough….Sam didn't want no part in some foretold destiny, not anything close to what Hazel was going through…..

Sam just wanted to have his brother safe, a nice long hunters life, well longer anyway, ahead of them. The idea of Dean being ripped away from him when he had finally started to feel bonded to someone…..like a brother again….Sam didn't think he could live without Dean. Well, not really live….the darkness inside Sam stirred at the thought-how could he control himself then-with only memories for company. Sam didn't think that he could.

Sam shot Hazel a nervous glance hoping she hadn't felt the dark blood serge as he had, and was rewarded with the smallest pocket of unease he'd ever seen on her face. A face that flashed through so many emotions so quickly, Sam stood rooted and just watched.

The room was vast in length and height, as if it hadn't changed in over a hundred years. A sturdy mahogany desk flanked the large glass windows, as old as the house itself. Shelves of books lined the walls, most unused even in her aunt's time, and now collected dust like revenants standing witness to the three of them. It made Hazel feel as if the books had eyes, and dull whisperings of surreptitious things grabbed at Hazel, clustering like groups of brittle dead foliage. And Hazel wondered how bound pages of old words could possibly feel so alive.

She hugged her arms against herself trying to ignore the old feelings and energy's as they surrounded, threatening to engulf her.

'' Hazel…..'' Sam said, and coming around behind her he enfolded his lengthened arms around her because she swayed looking ready to faint.

'' It's okay Sam…..'' Hazel responded to his gesture, a wavering smile on her ashen face, as if trying to convince not only Sam but herself as well.

But in fact, Hazel had never felt less okay in her life. She felt as if she were on overload and the repressed emotions from all the years past were crouched to explode through and around her. Hazel's every cell, all the synapses, nerve endings, and vertebrae vibrated with a reckoning kind of force. And this force swept her body in wave after relentless wave. The waves ended at the base of her skull, pounding in sizzling arcs that made Hazel dizzy.

That's when Hazel noticed she could feel the veins pumping in her ears, like her heart was held aloft in morbid suspension. The room around her had taken on a dreamlike quality that blurred all edges, crowding all thoughts and motion together as if reality was only counterfeit-slowing and speeding up in a cone of disillusionment.

It was as if Hazel was splintered in millions of pieces, she wondered if she looked as dazed as she felt. And the unfamiliar sensations of whatever she was experiencing scared the hell out of her. God's armpits, Hazel thought, trying hard not to cry- afraid the outburst would send her over the edge, send her into some unknown chasm of insanity. Hazel wondered how any one person could feel so many things at once and not be pulled apart from the inside out.

She wasn't sure if her reaction to being in her aunt's inner sanctum came from the unknown part of herself, acting like a metal detector because they were getting close to a colorful jackpot. Or instead if this feeling was purely human reaction, like jet-lag from the last few days catching up to her.

Hazel could still feel the echoes of that night. Black robed figures, their midnight fabric carved in a warrior's ballet as they tried unsuccessfully to throw off the unwelcomed visitor. Who had been Luci gliding in through the window as if gravity held no claim over her. Hazel could picture Luci's kukris polished and flashing with liquid crimson, which not only spread in a puddle from beneath Hazel's aunt, but decorated the room like a Jackson Pollock painting dripping with chaos that looked intentional.

The smell of coffee, menthol cigarettes, and gunpowder clung to Luci….And something unrecognizable, as Hazel stood like a marble statue, she felt like the only thing besides her aunt's body out of place in the middle of the massacre. Luci also smelled like worn leather, ozone from the rain, and frantic- pressed asphalt. But underneath Luci's obvious primitive temperament, Hazel could feel sparks of joy coming from her that punctuated a methodical resistance to Hazel's intruders…It was as if Luci had done this a thousand times in a hundred different ways.

_(Inspection Luci's room)_

_Hazel thought back to what had been mere hours before, when the three had entered Luci's old room. Hazel insisting on going first, she had stopped dead center….a portent of nostalgia grappling with her urge to leave as quickly as possible. Instead, Hazel had stood on the corner of the Mexican rug, staring down at the figure of Quetzalcoatl, an ancient Aztec God. The picture on the rug was a hand looped coarsely woven texture, it's bright colors looked to be part bird and part lizard._

_Hazel smiled, she knew about the danger room that lie beneath the rug. The hidden room was even now protected by the large and colorful feathering God, sometimes affiliated with the morning star____or Venus__**. **__The God of rebirth was related in literature to the later adapted Phoenix, who after combustion was said to be reborn from the ashes. _

_Hazel choose to let the guys unravel Luci's room. So then bending quickly down Hazel tucked a stray green toe-sock safely out of site, she smiled secretly to herself as she watched for a hopefully interesting display of reactions. Because Hazel knew Dean assumed Luci was a __**male **__friend and she wanted to see him squirm just a bit longer. Hazel stood taking in the familiarity of her old friend's room; while urging her face to stay impassive._

_The smell of rotten dairy wafted from across the room as Dean opened the mini-fridge that sat beside the dresser. Luci had kept the small fridge packed with nothing but pudding, menthol cigarettes and beer. Dean made a face, his eye brows cocking as he turned to look towards Hazel._

'' _Really….pudding….'' He queried, turning his attention towards the beer-Dean grumbled._

'' _He doesn't even have good taste in beer….'' Slamming the door a little too briskly, Dean heard a clank coming from behind, Dean thought the sound was too heavy to be anything on the inside. And taking a quick look between the wall and coils peered up in triumph. _

'' _Jack-Pot..'' He stated loud enough to grab Sam's attention from across the room, where Sam had stood stooped over the gleaming weight set, which sat next to the punching bag and pull-up bar. Sam himself had just found a nice lethal looking trinket, a curved silver blade fitted with knuckle grips that had a line of symbols across the tip. Hazel had learned to stop asking years ago what each figure stood for. Because there were so many around the room protection wards and sigils decorated everything from the smallest opening to the ammunition specially made by Luci herself. _

_Sam fingered the special bullet-proof glass that Luci had installed herself, knocking to make sure his guess was right, before turning again to Dean who now held the flask of holy water he'd found behind the mini-fridge. Hazel kept quiet, a large smile hidden behind her palm. Just the tip of the berg boys, she thought watching their silent exchange with barely concealed mirth. The small arsenal the boys had found along with the knives, daggers, and swords was slowly growing in number in a pile on the bed. _

_Then as Dean plunked down on the bed picking up a semi-automatic pump action, with a scope manually built into the top, while looking cross eyed at Hazel, he opened his mouth to speak and bumped the release hatch behind him. Needles to say he didn't have time to say anything as the secrete panel slid open. _

'' _So Prince Charming is a Hunter…..'' Dean asked, looking back at Hazel he had found where Luci's pride and joy, of the gunpowder variety usually hung on to large metallic grips. Dean knew enough about weaponry to see the empty space for what it was._

'' _That was Gwenevier…….'' Hazel answered somewhat quietly, before explaining._

'' _And the smaller one next to it would have been Dawn……didn't take much when they left, but the rocket launcher….and well the grenade…..favorites…..you know…'' Hazel's eyes watered a little when she thought of how Luci would take her weaponry above her best friend._

_But then Perhaps, Hazel was only imagining how close they had become. And in the end she'd had to deal on her own again. Hazel had pushed away, built a wall….because after Sam, after Dean's rejection, and then Luci's it had just been too much. It was like her whole life was spent left in someone else's shadow. Her parents, her aunt, her school mates because she was so different-kids latched onto the weakest- like animals they sniffed it out and exploited, poking then prodding until all you could do to defend yourself was build a fortress._

_Hazel turned slightly whipping at her eyes with her sleeve, Dean's look was too penetrating and she could feel his desire to wrap her in his arms. Even if he pushed the idea away as quickly it occurred, and then his animosity toward the unknown person, he still believed to be a man. Dean wanted to punch the guy in the nose and Hazel almost giggled as she imagined the struggle._

_Dean might not be up for hitting a chick but Luci would have no reservations if she felt like a good brawl, and she was no push-over, Luci would give at least as good as she got. Hazel looked to see one more slot was empty…..That of Luci's Katana….because when it came down to it, Luci always preferred a blade. Hazel thought it might have something to do with the magnifigance of a blade or dagger in battle, it was almost like a dance to watch; perhaps, a messy one but symmetric all the same. _

_Hazel had managed to steer Dean away from the underwear drawer, where he would have seen all the Victoria Secrete unmentionables and figured Hazel's friend was either a hunter with a lacey underwear fetish or obviously not male at all. Hazel had even managed to cover for the eclectic reading material, books on the occult, a few favorite comic book series, and a wide variety of romance novels; which had puzzled Hazel until she realized it was Luci's way of letting her hair down. Because although beautiful she rarely unless to spar let a man within so many feet….but Luci was a woman, not a nun. And so Hazel had tried not to rib her too much on it. After all it's not like Hazel had ever won any awards in the relationship department. _

'' _The romance novels make Prince Charming look gay Haze…..I wouldn't worry too much about Broke Back Hunter….'' Dean managed to throw out on the way out of the room. He'd tried to get Hazel to let him keep a few choice weapons, and Hazel wasn't completely sure Dean didn't pocket a set of ruin carved silver throwing knives that he had been eyeing. They were inlaid with quartz to amplify the protective symbols and burnt in Wolfsbane(monkshood) over a small flame on the night of a full moon. The knives were especially made to slow down a lycanthrope long enough to track and kill the host body._

Dean glanced in their direction, his expression changed from somber duty to weary silence. Hazel could feel Dean's concern as it lanced through her veil of emotions. And the weight of his worry warmed Hazel, Dean might say otherwise but he cared more than he would admit. Hazel thought then that that was just fine with her, pretending for him made it easier to not let her inside his heart….but it made it easier on her also. Dean came forward half smile on his face and he spoke.

'' You're not gonna go Cuckoo's Nest on us are you Haze…'' Dean's questioning had the effect of making all matters lighter and simpler, then he continued.

'' Cause now's…..really not the time….'' Dean's lopsided grin and attitude helped Hazel to gather her wits and she smiled.

'' Course not Dean……less you want a lobotomy…'' Hazel jeered, she enjoyed the verbal swordplay Dean was offering….it helped to keep her focused on the now. Dean tilted his brow and head to the side, the roguish nod endearing, before going on.

'' Good because we need your help….'' Dean's deference to her pride did not go unnoticed by Hazel, it was his way of showing his good faith and Hazel appreciated it.

Dean watched as Hazel's eyes cleared and her distress evaporated before him. He'd have to give her credit for her strength; the girl had plenty of spirit. Even earlier as he'd held the blade to her throat she'd been terrified but had not broken beneath his gaze. And yes Dean remembered the kiss and had been trying very hard not to feel the way his body responded and ached at the memory. But it was wrong of him to drag her into a world that he had lived in his whole life, wrong of him to try and pretend there could be anything more than a shared bed between them.

But it wasn't just the physical side and that's what made it so hard, it was more, way more than he could comfortably express. Because despite his lack of complete trust in the girl she had somehow dug down inside him and placed herself where not many ever had. And just this fact made Dean itchy; made him feel awkward….it was a territory he'd long abandoned and one he loath to go back to.

'' It should be through here….'' Sam stated holding the map up in front of him.

'' Where's the door lead to…..'' Dean asked her.

'' I'm guessing to her bedroom…..'' Hazel intoned.

'' You don't know…'' came Dean's reply. Even in the half light Hazel could feel the cock in Dean's brow, suppose it would be strange for a girl not to know, she thought, before stating.

'' I was never let inside…..'' Dean gave her an inquiring glance but she didn't elaborate, what would have been the point in dredging up the strange and distant relationship she had with her aunt anyhow.

But they were wrong as they opened the door to see an elaborate and very opulent bathroom. The flooring was marble and the shape long and low ceilinged, there was however a door adjacent the huge claw footed bathtub.

'' Guess aunty wanted to keep the best for herself…'' Dean replied with a low whistle fingering the golden fixtures on the standing sink. He went on.

'' I know where I'm coming to get cleaned up….'' he smiled as he turned towards the last door.

'' On ward and forward……this magical mystery tour folks….'' he stated, shotgun propped against his shoulder, he swung in through the next door with a tip to an imaginary hat…..It made Hazel feel as if she were with a purple clad Willy Wonky, and she nearly smiled.

'' As long as there aren't any umpa lumpas….'' Hazel cast his way with a smile.

'' Think I'm more worried about the death eater impersonators….'' this comment surprised Hazel; it was hard to imagine Dean watching Harry Potter….

'' Their more like dementors if you ask me…..''Hazel stated.

'' Demen….what?'' Dean asked.

'' The guards at Azkaban……''

'' Sorry only saw the fifth one…..too many things I could identify with, and that made me feel full on weird…..'' Dean looked into the darkness of Hazel's aunt's room and gave a visible and verbal shutter…

'' This woman had some issues….'' Dean said standing and blocking the threshold.

'' She wasn't just religious, she was a pious zealot……'' Sam, shouldered past Dean curious as to what kept his brother so enthralled…..not many things surprised Dean Winchester.

Inside was a close copy to Hazel's own room, except for all the religious memorabilia hanging from every available place. Rows of rosaries from centuries past and every cultures own version, looked like there were even some Buddhist monk strands….and that was just the beginning, thousands of Saints and Angels looked back at them some hanging from chains, others depicted in medieval looking paintings, even some as statues. Also countless Mary's and lounging painfully Jesus crucifixes, eyes fixed on them sad but benevolent.

'' Kinda creepy in a Rosemarie's Baby kind of way…..'' Dean looked around him before turning to Sam….

'' Think she was protecting herself from something…..it's like she already knew something was coming for her…..Jesus Sammy…..the blows just keep on coming…..''

'' Haze this borders on obsessed…..'' Sam stated fingering a small figure that dangled from the bed-post.

'' That's an understatement…..hey wasn't their supposed to be some sort of doorway, or something…..'' Hazel glanced around the room unless she was missing something there was no doorway.

'' Yeah, and according to this map it should be right over here…..'' Sam came to a standstill in front of Hazel's aunts bed, a frown lighting his silhouette.

'' You think we could have been wrong…'' Hazel wondered aloud.

'' No I don't think so….'' Sam knocked on the huge head board, scrunching his eyes….

'' Don't think their just gonna let us in to see the Wizard if we knock Sammy….'' Dean pushed past his brother, trying to pear behind the huge head board.

Hazel heard the voices, the millioned whispered chorus that had come from the McCreepy bartender's skin in her dream, just slightly and only long enough to make her skin prickle. There was something here, she could feel it. It was then she saw the symbol on the back panel of the bed and moved in closer to look she traced it with her fingertip and suddenly there was movement. The whole of the bed slid jerkily away from the wall, as if it hadn't been done in a long time, and sure enough an old stone archway came into view….and the whispers grew louder.


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay next chapter up this one took a little bit because I was wrestling with some of the concepts….like is this believable….would Dean really do this…yada, yada. So anyway here we are again mostly a filler chapter fluffy, but always angsty. Hope you all enjoy-luv and plot bunnies to all.------LacAnn**

**Chapter 19**

**Creepy Rabbit Holes and Soapy Heroes **

'' Absolutely not….'' Dean turned towards Sam and Hazel on the bed identical expressions of surprise on their faces. There was a damp chilly wind blowing up from inside the darkness, and with the beam focused a staircase as old looking as the arched doorway before it.

'' Dean….it's the most we have right now to go on..'' Sam interceded.

'' Maybe……but we're not going down the creepy rabbit hole completely unaware Sammy….''

'' That's not what you're afraid of and you know it….'' Sam gave Dean a long look, eyebrows drawn tight as he motioned towards Hazel. Sam knew Dean was trying to protect Hazel but leaving her up here alone was not an option.

'' Let's not hop on that gravy train again Sammy……'' they were both referring to the Hazel and Dean scenario but neither had to use the words outright, they'd been together a long time.

'' I just want to finish the job..'' Dean gave a long suffering sigh.

'' Are you sure Dean? Cause last I checked your tongue was halfway down her throat….''

'' Look- I'm fine, she's fine…..it was a mistake….it won't happen again….'' Dean ran his eyes down his brother's face, and his hand along the line of his jaw….He wanted to just drop it….to pretend the kiss had never happened. But he knew Sam wouldn't. He looked to see how Hazel was taking the brotherly spat, and found she didn't seem to be listening at all. Instead she had a hazy far away expression that made Dean think for some reason she was listening to something else all together.

Hazel felt drawn into the darkness below, the voices seemed like many but one all at the same time. She couldn't quite tell, or understand everything, but once and a while a word would drift up clearly as if on the wind, only to be snatched just as quickly away. It was if they recognized her and a slight jostle in her mind gave way to something deeper….. And Hazel did, she did recognize the voices, but from where she didn't know. Then they seemed to be mixing in some kind of prayer, or chant-laughing and crying, reborn and then dying…..the cycle was endless. There were too many emotions to pick out just one; except that something was painfully clear….she'd have to go down. And surprisingly Hazel wanted to.

Then just as quickly as the thought took root a strong arm was being wrapped around her mid section and she was being pulled into the tightly bunched wall of Dean's chest. The spell was broken as another one took hold of her, as Dean's voice came into focus his worry for her penetrating the veil. Hazel's body reacted instantly to his touch, it calmed her, and brought her back to reality….But it also scared the hell out of her. Hazel couldn't love Dean, god damnit, she just couldn't. Her emotions seemed overwhelming again, fighting the triumph of the idea of just turning in Dean's arms….something she wanted even more than climbing down the unknown passage.

But why she thought, why couldn't they just ignore all previous rational and get lost inside of each other. Hazel knew she loved Dean no matter how hard she tried to fight the feelings. He seemed more a part of her than he'd ever been; she had left behind the idea of not wanting that connection when his lips had conquered her, when his conquest had become final between them. Actually, she thought after her accidental trip inside his head the wall of denial had become weak like eggshell. And Hazel didn't know how long she could keep up this tin wall of excuses, not with everything that was going on.

This idea alarmed her, and she found herself grinding against the wall of his chest; which only seemed to tighten his hold. She could feel the wild fluttering of her emotions, the thick wall of his concern for her only made things worse. Everything was tumbling around her like blocks, falling in sensation and all she wanted to do was follow their paradigm.

'' I'm fine Dean….'' Hazel ran a shaky hand through an errant lock and gave a tight smile, wishing he would just let her go, it was all too much.

The tiny detail's of all that was Dean was rushing through her. From his biological make-up to the way he brushed his teeth in the mornings, Dean's complete lack of equanimity when it came to something that mattered to him, to the blunt statements of his logic, a warrior's logic. Dean was always in the now, sure he planned out his next step, but what was their right in front of him-no matter the ridiculous obstacles he faced- he would do it, cocksure grin in place and weapon at his side. Hazel tried focusing on his voice as the edges of the room blurred around her, not now she couldn't faint again. Hazel struggled to breathe and to hear his steady voice.

'' I don't think so you just about plunged headfirst down the creepy rabbit hole….In fact you looked like that's just what you wanted to do….'' Hazel couldn't remember any plunging involved but why else would he be holding her. All that Dean did had a purpose even if it didn't suite whoever was caught up in that purpose. He'd lie to the queen of England if it served his means, saved her life or somebody else's.

'' I thought I heard something…'' She exclaimed the reason seemed weak in her ears.

'' Okay, it _is_ a creepy hole….could be any number of things….Believe me- I have plenty of experience with creepy holes….'' Dean looked skeptical of her excuse and then went on.

'' You looked like…''

Hazel opened her mouth to reply when Sam cut in.

'' He's right….it was as if you were mesmerized….. or something….'' Sam shrugged at Dean, when Dean gave him one of his looks.

'' Okay Sam…I'll give you that one…only because I can't come up with a better word…''

'' It did Dean…''

'' Wasn't arguing with the point dude….just the pansy ass way you put it….'' Sam sighed opening his mouth for a quick comeback when Hazel stated.

'' The Seeker….''

'' What..'' both brothers turned to see Hazel's eyes had gone funny again, Dean grasped her hand holding it in his. Her eyes refocused and she looked at Dean, round and shinning eyes that made Dean want to wrap her inside his arms….he fought the urge and muttered instead.

'' Earth to major Tom….you still with us Haze..'' Then in a desperate voice Hazel stated.

'' Yes Dean I'm here….for you…..but I can't…I can't love you….'' Dean seemed shocked by her hazy sounding eruption for a second and then slid on his cocky sideways smile.

'' Of course not Haze….that would make things….. _Awkward_….'' Hazel giggled, at the ridiculousness of the statement, after all things were already plenty awkward and finally on that note Hazel let the darkness enfold her, just like she was enfolded in Dean's strong arms. It's that damn Winchester smile, she thought wryly before the darkness over took her.

Dean looked at Sam who seemed bemused and weary all at once. Of course Sam had heard the love pronouncement but seemed more worried about it then surprised he glanced up at Dean who was no longer smiling but staring at Hazel in consideration. Sam supposed that wasn't probably the first declaration of love his brother had heard, but probably the first in which the girl was making it obvious she already felt that way, and even more obvious that she was fighting against it.

It was a great ploy if Hazel had been considering strategies….his brother loved a good fight after all. Hazel hadn't been trying to consider anything at the time though. Almost as if the thought had just slipped past her mental filter and come out as a last defense against her own thoughts. And where the hell was Doctor Phil when you needed him, Sam wondered. What would the balding psychiatrist have to say about Hazel and Dean's problem? Sam looked harder at Dean and noted the protective gleam in his eye, and a slight possessiveness in the way Dean rested his hand against the curve of her shoulder.

'' She alway been the swooning type Sammy…'' Dean's voice filled the charged silence.

'' Never that I've known of…..''

Dean looked up his brows descending into a frown over his rich eyes, eyes incased not only in an overprotective light but a deep burning passion that was usually reserved for the badies they hunted. Whatever, it was Dean was thinking he wanted to save Hazel even more than before, and when Dean wanted something that badly there wouldn't be much to stand in his way. Looking back down at Hazel Dean smiled.

'' We'll then, I say we regroup before taking the creepy hole down……'' Dean leaned in closer to Hazel, laying a light kiss right beside the corner of her lips.

'' Dean….'' Sam said in warning not sure his brother should exasperate the situation.

'' You worry too much Sammy….'' came Dean's reply before gathering the unconscious Hazel in his arms, and cradling her against him like a child.

Hazel moved murmuring sounds of escape and pain in her sleep, and Sam watched astonished as Dean soothed her with a few whispered words. Hazel stopped her movement, and smiled serenely, snuggling into Dean's arms tighter. Hazel's hand came to rest above where Dean's heart was pumping beneath her touch. Both Sam and Dean exchanged glances Sam's quizzical and Dean's amazed, before he smiled and spoke aloud.

'' That's how you do it with the ladies Sammy….a few words…and they calm right down….simple…'' Except it wasn't simple, not at all, not between his brother and his friend. But Sam hesitated in saying so for the moment, too surprised to see the tender side in his brother to inflame any wounds. And together they left. Dean holding Hazel to him like he'd just gotten Park Avenue on the Monopoly board. Sam wondering hopelessly how to handle the bond between Hazel and Dean taking such an abrupt turn. And Hazel snuggled into everything warm, her own demons for now resting, for she wasn't really asleep sort of more like hibernating-too much had happened today-and she was worn out.

**************************************

Dean stood watching the sleeping beauty in the soft candle light. He wasn't sure how to take her proclamation of her feelings however unintentional they had been. He'd had countless women say such things to him, words of love, but they were always in the bedroom-shallow words meant more for his generosity in his activities and skill. He'd never had reason to take them seriously; they were just words after all.

Then the girl had said them…like she was worried they were true, or that she already knew that they were. So he'd brushed them off as he'd learned to do over the years, but the impression lasted creating a pleasant sort of triumph along with the sadness that he couldn't allow himself to return the sentiment. It wasn't as if he didn't feel something, something even he couldn't stop to analyze. But he'd promised himself long ago he'd never use those words on another woman. There _was_ one thing he knew he could do, he could show her with action, protect her…….he could do his damnedest to do that.

Sam had gone to check if the hot water was working, and to light the furnace if he had to. They all needed showers or baths, Dean thought Hazel would prefer one of those. Because isn't that what girls liked scented candles and pretty smelling soap. Dean briefly entertained the idea of washing her himself, lathering her soft skin, her long dark hair, but he knew such an intimate atmosphere could only lead to other things…Besides he couldn't imagine his little hell cat thinking it was a good idea, all the more reason to make him want to do it. Sammy would never agree of course, then since when had he ever asked permission from his little brother?

'' I can see that smile from all the way over here Dean….whatever it is you are thinking…..is a bad idea…''

Sam had reentered the room just in time to see Dean leering suggestively at the sleeping Hazel; he looked for the entire world like a predator about to dine on its prey. Sam wondered again if it wasn't such a bad idea to let them have a go at it, but dismissed the thought at the look he saw resonating from Dean's eyes. No matter how much his friend Hazel thought she could handle Dean, the fact remained one or both of them would just end up hurt. And Sam didn't want to see either….there was no reason for anyone to have to go through what he did with Jessica.

'' You wound me Sammy, I was just thinking how nice it would be to run Hazel a bath…'' Sam looked flabbergasted at this statement before mumbling to himself.

'' Yeah, I bet that's all you were thinking Dean….'' But, Sam granted Dean did have a point, it might help her feel better, and more rested for what lay ahead of them.

'' Your right Dean.. But no funny business…'' Sam sighed hating the words even as they left his mouth, Dean's head jerked round face a mask of astonishment.

'' Of course I'm right….haven't I always told you that….'' Dean made for the bed already fixed on having his way, and making it happen quickly.

'' Dean whatever it is you are planning….''

'' Come on Sammy don't you trust me….''

'' Not when it comes to naked women Dean…''

Dean turned towards his brother hands going out, a look of resolve and pleading in his eyes.

'' Don't worry, I won't cop any cheap feels….all business……''

'' And what makes you think you're the best man for the job, a second ago you were looking at her like the Big Bad Wolf and she was Little Red Riding Hood……'' Sam crossed his arms.

Dean looked down; it _would_ be hard not to be tempted. But he wouldn't….couldn't let it come to that-no matter how hard it would be. Perhaps he should just let Sam do it; Dean thought shortly then shook his head then greedily, _hell no, and miss out on a naked Hazel…….I can do this, I'm a Winchester made of tougher stuff than that, I won't unravel at one naked chick….I've seen hundreds. _

'' If it worries you so much stand guard outside the door, I do have willpower you know…'' Dean jeered angrily.

'' Not when it comes to women Dean…..''

'' I promise Sam, besides she can't really hold herself up to bath right now…. and she'll probably wake soon as she hits the water….'' Dean had a point, flimsy though it was. And Sam thought if he sat outside the door, he could keep a sharp ear out for anything out of the ordinary, not just his brother but any dark dangers as well.

******************************************

Hazel came up swinging; she'd been having the most pleasant dream. She was submerged in a warm soapy cocoon and the glide and soft touch of caring human hands were gently washing away all the dirt and grime from the past few days. Until she felt that gentle yet firm hand on her breasts, making her nipples pucker and engorge. It would have been too easy to just lay back, but the waves of Dean's strong and protective even caring energy surrounded her….And too quickly she realized it wasn't a dream at all.

Before her fist could connect with flesh, Hazel noted through half closed eyes, the quickness of Dean's instinct, his soapy palm stopped her punch, and he smiled down at her. Dean was naked from the waist up his jean's slung low under the weight of suds that dampened them, clinging suggestively low on his hips.

'' What the fuck Dean!'' Hazel shot up soap and bubbles flinging every which way, some even landing smack across his smiling face with a wet sloshing sound. Hazel looked up, the bubbles dribbling from his forehead and chin, and with a crafty look of her own used her palm to scoop more of the soap and water rocketing it in his direction. Hazel laughed at the now soaked Dean, before he had time to gather wits enough to come in with a comeback.

'' Think that's funny do you..'' Dean said trying to sound somber but not being able to hide the smile behind his eyes.

'' Dean what's going on in their….'' Sam's voice from behind the door, the knob jiggled but Dean had had the foresight to lock the knob.

'' Seems our little hell cat woke up Sammy…..''

'' What's with all the noise…''

'' Hazel thought I needed a bath to….'' They could hear Sam laugh from the other side before countering.

'' Good luck with that one Dean….''

By this time Hazel had noticed not only Dean's state of dress as he stood dripping in a soapy puddle. But her own as well, she'd scooped most of the bubbles out and now there was a wavering bit of naked flesh peeking from beneath them and two rounded orbs bobbing on the surface. In growing horror Hazel glanced from her pale floating breast to Dean's body which was slick with dripping bubbles that dribbled down from his thick dirty blond hair to the indentions at his waist.

Hazel wondered how that delicate skin between his torso and hip bones would feel against her tongue and teeth before watching the bubbles dribble even lower past the trail of the only hair on his torso. The trail of baby fine hair that led to regions she could only imagine, and slide through the gap left by the seeping waterway. Hazel had never wanted to be a bubble more in her life. Her appraisal did not go unnoticed by Dean however, and the ebbing heat flared instantly up between them.

'' Guess I should leave….since you can finish the rest now…'' Dean said flatly, noncommittally he stood there questioning Hazel with his eyes. Was he asking her permission to stay, she wondered.

Would it really be so bad to taste the forbidden fruit as Eve had done so long ago in the Garden of Eden. And if ever there was a tempting snake it was the man standing before her. What good was it really doing not giving in? Both of them were on the edge of mortality after all and Hazel was tired of running from her feelings.

'' I don't know Dean, maybe it shouldn't matter that much….since you only have, since it won't be too much longer….'' Hazel trailed off. They both understood she was referring to the deal, but neither seemed to be able to say it out loud.

The bathtub suddenly seemed too empty, and Hazel felt she was facing the unknown as much as Dean was….perhaps it _was_ time to stop their mental squirmish of wills. Struggling with all of her courage, all the love she could gather together, Hazel looked up at Dean, her eyes pouring it all into his. Dean froze and looked back at Hazel, eyes adjusting like beacons of dilated desire, but he was pulling back hard with indecision.

Then rising slightly Hazel pulled at the band of Dean's jean's compelling him closer, gazes locked in sort of an emotional duel. Neither sure it was a good idea but both knowing what they wanted. Hazel watched herself in amazement a purely womanly instinct as old at time driving her onward. She felt provocative, she felt powerful…..she knew if she fought hard enough-Dean would crumble.

'' It's probably a bad idea sweat heart…'' Dean's voice was low almost a whisper as he continued.

'' I don't have anything to give you….''

'' I politely disagree……'' she remarked.

'' You're a stubborn little hell cat aren't you….?'' he asked eyes now positioned at her small hand tugging lightly but adamantly on his soaked denim. The slippery button at the top snapped open from the stretched fabric and they both seemed jolted by the noise, the pants were already starting a slow move downwards propelled by her persistence and soft prodding. And then the top band of his briefs came into view. Hazel released a breathe she hadn't noticed she'd been holding and Dean grunted in a pained way.

'' Come on your already soaked….might as well finish the job….'' Hazel could see the muscles working in his jaw he was trying very hard to resist. And she wondered if it was fair of her to press him so.

'' It's okay Dean…..I understand….this could be all we would ever have, that's it, isn't it?''

'' You haven't been poking round inside my head again have you….'' he asked wondering how she knew exactly what he'd been thinking less than an hour before.

'' No…it's just that I've been thinking the same thing……it just keeps going round and round in my mind….but I think I've decided….'' she answered her lip between her teeth. Dean thought she looked adorable.

'' Why…..what's changed..''

'' Whatever it is I face down that shaft, I don't know I'll come back the same…._if_ I come back….'' Hazel looked at Dean levelly, hard to do when all she wanted to watch was the slow sliding of his pants and slow revealing of those cotton briefs. The sexiest pare of Fruit of a Looms I've ever seen, she thought to herself.

'' Do you know what's down there…the freaky hole I mean'' he asked his voice husky at the sight of the moister beading up on her skin, and the direction of her flustered gaze.

'' I think I do….it's like I've just forgotten…..but I have to go Dean…''

'' Not alone you don't….''

'' Okay my special angel if you insist……but don't you know in the end….we're all alone…'' He understood what she was saying, she didn't want to be alone now because she would be later, and she truly believed this. And who was he to say she wasn't right. Dean understood cause in a way he was facing the same thing, the same big sucker punch. But so help him she would come out….even if he never did. Dean made up his mind.

'' I can't Hazel……..''

'' Why not?'' She questioned tears in her eyes.

'' Because where I'm going there are no happy endings, no butter and popcorn…..no credits or sequels….just darkness and pain…''

Why did the man have to be such a stubborn ass, Hazel wondered, opting not to get angry instead to return his darkness with all she could-her comfort.

'' Then just hold me Dean……because you deserve better than darkness and pain…..''

He had no choice when she pulled using God only knows what leverage and flipped him fully into the tub, his pants slipping the final inches past his ankles as he went and landed in a soapy heap at the head of the tub. Dean sputtered bubbles, an exasperated look on his drenched face, and Hazel laughed.

'' Slipped did you…'' she asked laughing harder.

Sam smiled from the other side of the door; Hazel was giving Dean exactly what he deserved, or he hoped she was. Even with all Sam's motherly badgering he knew Hazel could take care of herself.

'' Son of a bitch….'' Dean declared, the soapy water dribbling from his plastered hair to land across his broad shoulders. He wore a look that was half amusement and half discontent.

Dean still didn't think this was a good idea, and with the top button of his jeans undone and the already lowered fabric- it had only taken gravity to shift the heavy fabric downward as he flew head over shoulders into the warm water. Luckily, he contemplated, his boxers that were briefs had clung to his skin and was the only thing providing the covering for the rest of his body. Hazel laughed at him; it was hard to see him as threatening under the current circumstances.

'' I've been wanting to do that for a very long time..'' She exclaimed as Dean tried his best to level her with one of his hard eyed stars.

'' You look like Mister Bubbles..'' Dean retaliated by shoving some of the left over bubbles in her direction. Soon they were splashing like a couple of kids at summer camp and laughter had drifted out into the bathroom echoing through the small but solid floored space.

Dean slopped bubbles onto Hazel's dampened hair, Hazel flung gobs at Dean's nose and chin singing Christmas carols before a matching beard appeared on her face.

'' We'll Miss's Clause you've really let yourself go…'' Dean commented looking around to see their mountain of bubbles had fast dissipated, and only a few stranded islands remained.

Hazel caught Dean's look and held it with her own unwavering gaze, tilting her chin she challenged him with only a slightly doubtful come hither look. Unfortunately the effect was not as powerful one as it would have been without the painted beard.

'' This was a very naughty idea sweat heart….'' Dean replied his face a mask of different emotions, Hazel felt the surge of hormones before Dean did.

But he was careful about it this time, slow as his callused palm and fingers gently grazed her nipples, making Hazel shiver. Looking up into Dean's eyes was like being drawn inside a doorway, only this time there was no darkness only his own discernable light. A light that was all greens and blues, tinged with spots of fiery orange. It was the depth of his warmth that startled her the most and she went to push away before he pulled her closer. The feeling of his near nude body, and so much of his inflamed skin touching hers, quieted Hazel as Dean's hands came to rest around her. One large hand at her curved waist the other stroking a path over her upper arm.

'' You have no idea my little hellcat how hard this is…..'' Dean's voice was rough like he was holding something back. He went on.

'' I need to protect you….and if doing that means……mean's protecting you from everything…..We can't Hazel…..we just can't….'' Dean was shaking a little like the force of his words would tear him apart and he tilted Hazel's chin so again she was staring into those depthless copper with flecks of green eyes.

That's when she realized what he was doing; he was laying it all out for her….letting her see past his exterior to feel all the emotions and his reasons for not being able to make love to her.

'' Too much on your plate, huh?'' Hazel responded. Dean lowered his gaze like it was painful for him to break the contact, or too painful to keep it.

'' It's okay Dean…..I won't press you…..'' She could feel the relief wash through him, before she added.

'' But once all of this is over…..and I mean the deal also…..perhaps you'll feel differently…'' Dean looked up at her then, a bitter smile lighting his features.

'' Of course Haze…..when everything is over…'' The smile he gave then did not quiet touch his eyes. Hazel knew it was meant for her benefit, the old Dean-this is all gonna be okay grin, she'd seen him give it to Sam a few times and if she couldn't feel the truth beneath it- might of believed it. But Dean Winchester didn't really believe he was coming out of the deal alive.

And so Hazel did the only thing she could do, she placed her hands across his heart felt the steady hammer and urged his lips towards hers. Even if Dean couldn't let them share the tub, before going down the creepy rabbit hole as he called it. They could at least have this one moment, wrapped so closely together, mouths tender and slow. Hazel felt like they were saying goodbye, and it made her want to pull him closer.


End file.
